Need help advice and folks to talk to

[tennchick9598]

have been taking tramadol, for about 2 years and at my peak, taking up to 30 a day, im at about 15 a day now, this drug scares the hell out of me. I feel like without it, i am not a goo enough person, not as good a lover, mother cook friend, whatever, i will actually cancel events around whether i had enough pills. I have lied to doctors pharamcists family members you name it. I have stolen money from my husband and pawned things to get money for these little "wonders" I am so fully afraid of running out that i get overwhlemed and depressed and think maybe I should just end it all and not have to worry anymore. I have truly thought that before. I would not take mine until nighttime and then take about 20 spaced over 3-5 hours for the High the euphoria, that great feeling. I went to the Dr. today, a new younger one and explained almost exactly what was going on ( i said i was taking about 12 a day) I dont know why i couldnt go all the way telling him but i didnt. He was really nice and understood, of course he wrote me a scrip for 120(no refills() with instructions to taper down(no SPECIFIC) instructions, tho. and i am to gradually introduce neurontin into my system to build up to 300 mg a day of that. How should i taper with only 120 pills left. I am sooooo afraid and would love some advice. I dont really know if i can do this, i am sooooooo DEPENDENT on this drug it is truly terrifying. im not spelling too well today, but can someone help me out, i have lots of the neurontin, and i have about 60 xanax, can anyone give me a REAL plan to follow and help me out of this prison of a bottle? Love to all and prayers to those in my shape,
ps.. I also have a prescription for celexa that i am to start on 20mg a day and that may help my depression that ihave for who knows what reason, im all messed up, thoughts , help anyone, i need to talk I have to update this, I am now with zero tramadol, took nine last night, have no more and no more way to get any more, but i dont want any more ()mentally) physically yes, i do. anyway, now is when its about to start getting bad, i know, i am taking the neurontin as prescribed faithfully, am at the nigttime dose and afternoon dose now, next week i build up to one in the am one in the afternoon and one at night total 300mg neurontin. I start the celexa tonight, i read somwhere take at night it could make you drowsy?? anyway, im ready and im scared, and i need SOME advice on how to handle when it gets real bad.....thanks to all for listening, i need to talk to people, ALOT, it helps me...... love to all

[historyteach]

Tennlady;
I'm sorry you are dealing with this.
Please get to a rehab. I'm appauled that this doctor would just hand you more pills and tell you to taper down. You need help.

Mark will be here to answer your concerns.
In the meantime, please go over to the substance abuse forums. There, you will find people to help you along the way.

Shalom!

[tennchick9598]

Hey guys just though i would check in, not so good today, sweating, chills, diarhhea, nausea, i feel like crap. I talked to my sis who is an rn and asked if i should go to the hospital and she said that is just my body jonesing for that drug and I need to give it 3-4 days and stick it out, unless i wanted to hurt myself in any way or got super physiclly isll. i feel like crap, i dont know how bad your sposed to feel. I cheatd of course on the taper down, took my last nine on tuesday night, and i dont know what to do now. I have to go to parent night tonight,and a basketball game, oh God,i am feaking out!!!!

[MarkSichelCSW]

You need to see a medical doctor as soon as possible. I can't comment on the medical safety or danger of what you're doing and I urge you to get help beyond an online forum. Stick with the forum of course but do get yourself to a doctor as this is serious business.