Help Me

[michigangal26]

I am currently in a relationship for 3 yrs with a crack addict. It just recently finally told me that he was doing it.. I had accused him of it before but all it did was get angry and told me I was pyscho for thinking that.. He was sober for 2 wks and left me today and I know that he is out getting drugs, I dont know what to do, he says he loves me but how could an addict love me their love is the drug not their family.. We have lost everything he has no job and were are getting evicted out of our house after Christmas.. He was suppose to start treatment but still hasnt been.. I would really just like someone to give me some advice on what to do..

[historyteach]

(((Michigangal)))

I'm so sorry you are dealing wiht this behavior and this problem.
But, I do welcome you to SR! Here, you will find people to share their ESH, (experience, strength and hope), to help you find the way.

Mark will be here to answer your concerns.
In the meantime, feel free to go over to the Friends and Familys of Substance abusers, (naranon), forum. There, you will learn to detach with love and that you didn't cause this; you can't control this and you can't cure it. Finally, that you need to love yourself, just as much as you love him.

There's a post there, in the stickies you should read too. It's titled "What Addicts Do" and it was written by Jon, the man who started this site. It will shed some light on an addict's ability to love.

I wish you well, and hope to see you here often as we both grow in our recovery.

Shalom!

[nanita]

I've never used drugs (except alcohol - guess that counts) but my oldest daughter is a crack addict. She lost her oldest son to his father and she hasn't seen him for six years (he's 11). She has a 5 year old daughter who tested positive for crack when she was born. When the baby was 6 months old, my daughter was so high on crack that she rolled her van 6 times and totalled it, on a ride that she doesn't know why she was on, with the baby in the van. Somehow, it slipped by social services and she got to keep her daughter until she was 4. At that time, she popped up pregnant again (3 different dads) and ended up in the ER. The dr. noticed needle tracks on her arm and called social services. The dad of baby #3 had started her shooting meth. Social services took the 4 year old away and she is now in the custody of her father.

She went through rehab during her 3rd pregnancy and after many relapses was clean for about a year. Five months ago, she got a DUI with the new baby in her car. Again, social services took her child. He's been in a foster home for 4 months. Although she's been clean most of that time,she's not willing to do the work required to get custody back. If he's there much longer, he will be a permanent ward of the State. I'm in the process of getting custody of him now, to get him out of the foster care system.

Long story, but my point is -- my experience has been that someone who has severely addicted to crack doesn't turn their life around very well. My daughter is now a crack and meth addict as well as an alcoholic. I hope you have better luck than I have and wish you all the best in your search for answers.
Nanita

[MarkSichelCSW]

I think you need to focus on taking care of yourself and making a life for yourself that does not involve a crack addict. If your boyfriend loves you and cleans up his act, he can always join you. If you know your boyfriend is out there getting drugs you need to get away from him as he can only drag you down.

[nanita]

Amen.