clean but worse

[Maverick]

I have been out of treatment for 2 and 1/2 years for drugs and alchohol. i have been clean. my biggest problem still is my hatred for my treatment center. I still feel that my experience at this residential treatment center was worse than any drug i used. I cannot get over this rage. When I was using I was a generally happy and active person, but treatment broke my spirit. I now have this bitter attitude that I never had before. Because I still associate Treatment with AA/NA whenever i attend meetings I leave very deppresed and sometimes angry. I have talked with several people and they always think I am exagerating my feelings. I am asking if there is an online support group for recovery from recovery.

[MarkSichelCSW]

I've never heard of a support group for recovery from recovery. You've got a huge resentment at the treatment center and its filling your brain up with poison. That was past. Now is now. You're clean!! Celebrate it. Give yourself the gift of your abstinence and progress and while you don't need to forget whatever happened at the rehab center, you need to forgive as a gift to yourself.

[Maverick]

does anyone out there know of any online forums for people who are clean but do not desire that which is offered in AA and or have come out worse after treatment?

[Ten Chips Down]

Well, you know, we have a very busy non-AA recovery forum right here on SR, Maverick.

Now, to the root:

"When I was using I was a generally happy and active person, but treatment broke my spirit."

Then why did you quit using, and what were you using? Were you drinking? That's not illegal. If it was illegal substance, then that's another story and it sounds as if you were arrested for it and forced into a treatment that you resolutely did not want.

I'm guessing here. Give me something to go on, tell me more.

"I am asking if there is an online support group for recovery from recovery."

With 100 million bona fide websites now (it's a milestone we just reached; it was in the news ), I'm near about sure you can find anything--and there are well-known anti-psychiatry authors and schools of thought--but this is very dangerous territory if you indeed agree you're better off not drinking or using.

So talk to me.

-TCD-

[doorknob]

Put 'AA' and 'deprogramming' into a search engine.

And try a search for 'orange-papers'.

That will give ya plenty!

DK

[Leslie1210]

Hi Maverick,
I'm not sure what type of tx you went through but I had a bit of a similar experience. I was in a long term center that used behavior mod. for thinking and behavior. A little bit like a cult but different. As time went by I was able to see that I could stay clean but had a hard time thinking for myself.
As I look back, my challenge was taking the good out of my tx experience and discarding the rest. Treatment is a blink in time. You have your whole life to decide how you want to live and think. Try not to let this experience have so much power over you. If you were in a long term center you might want to read up on some of the long term effects it can have one people. A good book is called 'snapping'. It helped me take my self back and enjoy my life without using.
best regards,
Leslie

[Maverick]

thanks, its good to hear some-one else say they were no completly happy with treatment. I hear so many say yes treatment and AA/NA saved my life, best thing that ever happened to me. It always made me feel out of place being unhappy with it

[historyteach]

Maverick;
Come on over to the secular connections forum, here on SR.
YOu will find many different types of humanistic, behavioral supports for staying clean.
Wishing you well.

Shalom!

[Kahlia]

Originally Posted by Maverick

thanks, its good to hear some-one else say they were no completly happy with treatment. I hear so many say yes treatment and AA/NA saved my life, best thing that ever happened to me. It always made me feel out of place being unhappy with it

Maverick-CAN YOU COME OVER???? I would love to discuss this subject with you. I spent 93 days in a treatment center where one of my therapists came in DAILY looking like she had just shot up....and acted like it too. She was arrogant, she was always writing on the blackboard BUT when asked questions (confronted) she got mad as hell and walked out of the room...GREAT THERAPY....WE ran the therapy group and it did us a LOT of good..we found out that she WAS using and she went to treatment, thank GOD and we never saw her again, then we got a counselor named Phoebe...she sat in front of me and twirled her pearls and asked me questions about my childhood and tried VERY hard to BREAK me down in front of everyone.....I told her I HATED those DAMN pearls!!! She was so pissed. I do know what you mean about being angry about the facility BUT you are clean and I have been clean going on 7 years....do not let it eat you up, move on....let it go....I have..it was a seperate incident and it helped me realize that I needed help and that a lot of the people there DID help me or I would NOT be talking to YOU right now....do not ever let one little episode ruin what you have accomplished...are you trying to set yourself up? Don't......it is not worth it.....I wish you PEACE,....if you need to talk..PM me....I will tell you the truth as I see it....I do not B.S.....the people here know that.......Blessings......Kahlia