how do you know if someone is an alcoholic?

[Sasha99]

About 15 years ago I went through a period of several years where I drank a lot by myself every day. How much was a lot? A 1.5 liter bottle of wine every day. I went through a case of half gallons of liquor by myself over a period of a few months. All day long I would look forward to getting home so I could pour that first drink. Sometimes I passed out. I drank to get drunk. I also drank at lunch with some of my coworkers.

At some point-- I don't remember when-- I gradually lost interest in drinking. Now I hardly drink at all-- maybe a glass of wine a couple of times a month. I never crave liquor.

At no time was I in any kind of recovery group/program, etc. I didn't do anything specific to address the problem. When my life changed for the better, I just stopped.

Back then I used to read those "checklists," because I feared I was an alcoholic. One of them was "if you wonder if you are, you probably are." But I qualified for some of the others, too, like hoping people at a party won't notice that you're drinking three drinks to their one.

Anyway, according to AA/12-step, etc., I should not have been able to stop without a "program." I also don't smoke, pay off my credit card every month, am not promiscuous-- my "addiction" did not seem to channel itself into anything else.

Was I an alcoholic?

The only diagnosis for "alcoholic" that makes sense to me is the one I've deduced from my own experience in AA: you're an alcoholic when you feel your life has become unmanageable due to drinking and you want to stop but you don't feel you can on your own. What anybody else thinks about your drinking doesn't really matter: what YOU think about it does. While the only requirement for membership in AA is the desire to stop drinking, nobody's waiting at the door to "test" your desire. It's completely up to you. So -- are you an alcoholic? You're the only person who can answer that -- and it sounds like you have. No.

Yes?

Thanks for posting. It's an interesting question. You'll probably get a few more responses to it...

Guy

[Sasha99]

for your prompt reply. :-)

I never looked at it that way... that whether you are an alcoholic depends on self-definition. That's very thought-provoking.

What do you think of this idea: I've read that some people feel that the AA approach doesn't always work well for women (and sometimes minorities) because it starts with acknowledging one's powerlessness, and women often feel powerless to begin with. That this approach works better with (excuse the expression) arrogant white males who can't admit that ANYTHING has power over them. That it's good for them to begin with humility, but that for women that's not always a good place to begin.

Thanks in advance for your response.

Hmm. Actually, the powerlessness thing has always seemed pretty simple to me. As an alcoholic I know I'm powerless over alcohol. That's pretty much the sum total of it. Male, female, gay, straight, old, young -- if you're (a self-diagnosed) alcoholic, that notion of "powerlessness" tends, I think, to be pretty clear. Anyway, that's my understanding of what AA means by the word.

[2bblessed]

Hi--I could not reply as to whether you are an alcoholic. It seems that you used it in excess when you were under significant stress. You are not under that stress now, and are not using to excess. However, it might be wise to think about the next time a really stressful situation comes along. It is bound to happen, sooner or later. If you think that you would turn to alcohol again to help you cope, maybe the safest thing is to assume that it is better not to use the stuff at all. How important is having alcohol in your life versus the risk? :shades:

[Sasha99]

Two and a half years ago I encountered the most stressful event of my life when my husband died. I had no desire to drink and didn't. I guess I'm not an alcoholic.

[whiskysquicker]

the criteria in determing if one is truly alcoholic that I am aware of or familiar with is the matter of choice and control a physical craving once the alcoholic has ingested alcohol and a mental obsession which drives one to drink irregardless of the consequences or reasons one should abstain;physical illnes due to excessive drinking,loss of employment due to excessive drinking intoxication related arrests DUI ,public intoxication,etc.When every reason to not drink is operative,but somehow there is an inability to just quit it.On the other hand there is the hard drinker who perhaps just likes to party and with maturity or some sufficient reason such as ill health associated with heavy drinkig is able to moderate or quit altogether based upon a choice that one is able to make and stick to.To sum it up non-alcoholic as far as understand do not experience the physical craving or the mental obsession.Trust me you don't want to be an alcoholic,but if you are there is help.If your just neurotic there's help too.That's the good news no matter what your real problem is,there is help. Good Luck!