Fear of Fear
Believe in Miracles
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 26
Fear of Fear
I have panic attacks and am in counseling for them. I had agoraphobia really bad about 20 years ago and was hospitalized for them. I have since been able to function and work and raise my family and so on. What I can't seem to do is drive outside my safety circle. It seems when I am in a residential area or feeling completely alone the panic takes over and I can't seem to keep myself in control. I am in counseling and intend on staying there till I overcome this fear of fear. I am terrified to feel the feelings of fear and panic when I am alone. As long as I have someone with me I can go anywhere. This is wearing thin on my family and would really like to overcome this. YESTERDAY!
Any suggestions I would love.
Any suggestions I would love.
~Author of My Life~
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Doing what I thought I couldn't....
Posts: 4,796
I couldn't drive for 7 years from severe panic attacks..........I also had agoraphobia and would spend weeks at a time not able to leave the house. I self medicated alot to deal with it.it helpd at first.but only got worse........I quit the self medicting/abusing pills about 2 yrs ago..........got my learners permit last October...(let my TX DL expire haD TO DO IT ALL OVER, EVEN THE DRIVING PART!) AND MY DL in NOvember..............I also cannot drive too far from home...........I get around town okay.but won't go on the interstate unless I have to.........I am gradually adding more and more 'uncomfortable roites/areas........I know exactly how terifying panic attacks are when driving......Zoloft has been helping me alot....talking myself through them.......deep breathing...........it's tough........I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers!
Hang in there.((((Hugs))))
Hang in there.((((Hugs))))
the girl can't help it
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: splendraville
Posts: 5,599
Years ago I used to be terribly afraid of heights and elevators and somehow or another I landed this job that was on the 44th floor of a skyscraper. I did not know what I was going to do the job paid big bucks and I really needed the money it felt like my HP was playing a joke on me...
The first day on the job I took the stairs yes I did...then I got to the 44th floor I felt very woozy I refused to look out the window all day and took the stirs all the way down too. The next day when I woke up my butt and legs really hurt from the climb from the day before and I thought I would not be albe to do the stairs again but I did and I hurt allday from it too and I took them down again too still refusing to look out the window. The 3rd day I was even sorer than the day before plus I was running late. When I got to the building I saw one of the people I worked with in the elevator and she beckoned me to ride up with her being a good codie that did everything someone else told me to do I got in. It was just me and her in the elevator and as I plastred myself against the wall I noticed how surprizenly smooth the ride was and befor I knew it we were getting off the elevator. As we were walking off the girl said yea I used to take the stairs cause I was afraid of the elavtor I knoticed that it was much easier than climbing the stairs too. I did take them down though cause it was good exercise. Then one day up on the 44th floor some said hey look at that cloud it looks like two people making love I ran over and looked out and noticed how beautiful the veiw was I was hooked on looking out from that moment on.
The point of my too long story here is that I just did what I was afraid to do and the more I did it the more the fear went away. Now I can ride in elevators and look out from the highest floors and be okay. When 911 happened I thought the fear might come back but, it did not..
Maybe if you could somehow just go ahead and face your fear in small doses it will go away. Just do it in small steps drive some where that is out of your comfort zone for just a small amount of time and go back to where you feel comfortable and venture a little farther maybe each day until you can just go where you need to go. As far as your fear of being alone something that comes to mind is a quote I do not know who said it but, it goes like this: You are the only person who will never leave you...and you for sure have your HP!!! Good luck (((Petra))) hope this helps something.
The first day on the job I took the stairs yes I did...then I got to the 44th floor I felt very woozy I refused to look out the window all day and took the stirs all the way down too. The next day when I woke up my butt and legs really hurt from the climb from the day before and I thought I would not be albe to do the stairs again but I did and I hurt allday from it too and I took them down again too still refusing to look out the window. The 3rd day I was even sorer than the day before plus I was running late. When I got to the building I saw one of the people I worked with in the elevator and she beckoned me to ride up with her being a good codie that did everything someone else told me to do I got in. It was just me and her in the elevator and as I plastred myself against the wall I noticed how surprizenly smooth the ride was and befor I knew it we were getting off the elevator. As we were walking off the girl said yea I used to take the stairs cause I was afraid of the elavtor I knoticed that it was much easier than climbing the stairs too. I did take them down though cause it was good exercise. Then one day up on the 44th floor some said hey look at that cloud it looks like two people making love I ran over and looked out and noticed how beautiful the veiw was I was hooked on looking out from that moment on.
The point of my too long story here is that I just did what I was afraid to do and the more I did it the more the fear went away. Now I can ride in elevators and look out from the highest floors and be okay. When 911 happened I thought the fear might come back but, it did not..
Maybe if you could somehow just go ahead and face your fear in small doses it will go away. Just do it in small steps drive some where that is out of your comfort zone for just a small amount of time and go back to where you feel comfortable and venture a little farther maybe each day until you can just go where you need to go. As far as your fear of being alone something that comes to mind is a quote I do not know who said it but, it goes like this: You are the only person who will never leave you...and you for sure have your HP!!! Good luck (((Petra))) hope this helps something.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: dysfunction junction,nc
Posts: 381
(((Petra)))
I know how you feel. I also have a fear of driving. Its the fear of being alone and yes,when someone is with me I'm fine.I have started venturing out alone but only like to the grocery store or convenience store down the road. What I do is carry my cellphone and if I start to panic I speed dial my best friend and she talks me through it. I don't know if you've learned any breathing techniques or not but I have found it very helpful when controlling the panic attacks. I have had them for 14 years. I realized after years of therapy that I have the fear of driving because that is where i had my first full blown panic attack. My best advice is to take baby steps and don't put too much pressure on yourself to fix it fast. That just adds more stress to an already stressful situation. Don't give up trying. just because one day you don't succeed doesn't mean the next day might not be better. I used to put so much pressure on myself that i would cause a panic attack so go easy on yourself.
Take care
2many
I know how you feel. I also have a fear of driving. Its the fear of being alone and yes,when someone is with me I'm fine.I have started venturing out alone but only like to the grocery store or convenience store down the road. What I do is carry my cellphone and if I start to panic I speed dial my best friend and she talks me through it. I don't know if you've learned any breathing techniques or not but I have found it very helpful when controlling the panic attacks. I have had them for 14 years. I realized after years of therapy that I have the fear of driving because that is where i had my first full blown panic attack. My best advice is to take baby steps and don't put too much pressure on yourself to fix it fast. That just adds more stress to an already stressful situation. Don't give up trying. just because one day you don't succeed doesn't mean the next day might not be better. I used to put so much pressure on myself that i would cause a panic attack so go easy on yourself.
Take care
2many
Believe in Miracles
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 26
Thank you. I am just so sick and tired of it all. I have learned the breathing and the relaxation. It is now just in the doing of it all. I am starting to believe that I am not really alone but when the feeling of fear starts it seems to take on a life of its own. I can't go anywhere without my cell phone. If the panic gets out of control I call anyone I can to talk me through. Whatever works right?
I am so greatful that I can come here and talk about my situation and get the great feedback from all of you.
I will keep you all in my prayers.
Love ya
I am so greatful that I can come here and talk about my situation and get the great feedback from all of you.
I will keep you all in my prayers.
Love ya
On The Bus
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Brattleboro, Vt.
Posts: 484
I Know, I Know...
The feeling. HOWEVER, due to a lot of research about the subject of anxiety and panic attacks, I have discovered two things.
One is that no one ever dies from a panic attack. And THAT is very important to remember because it sure as hell feels as if YOU ARE ABOUT TO EXPIRE!!
Heart thumping, short of breath, beads of sweat on my forehead, rubbery legs, stomach tied in knots, oh yeah have I ever been there.
I have had panic attacks so bad that they lifted me right off my back while laying down in bed(Just an unbelievable spasm)
Second is it is MUCH BETTER to NOT FIGHT THEM. Crazy as that sounds I have been able to stop an oncoming panic attack by saying OK, here we go, screw it, bring it on, you cant hurt me or kill me and eventually you will stop, so go ahead, bring it on.
And then they usually do not happen!
Weird aint it?
One is that no one ever dies from a panic attack. And THAT is very important to remember because it sure as hell feels as if YOU ARE ABOUT TO EXPIRE!!
Heart thumping, short of breath, beads of sweat on my forehead, rubbery legs, stomach tied in knots, oh yeah have I ever been there.
I have had panic attacks so bad that they lifted me right off my back while laying down in bed(Just an unbelievable spasm)
Second is it is MUCH BETTER to NOT FIGHT THEM. Crazy as that sounds I have been able to stop an oncoming panic attack by saying OK, here we go, screw it, bring it on, you cant hurt me or kill me and eventually you will stop, so go ahead, bring it on.
And then they usually do not happen!
Weird aint it?
To Life!
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Rhode Island
Posts: 9,293
Facing the fear, as Splendra notes, is referred to as exposure in the literature. And it is indeed quite helpful.
I went through these types of panic attacks. Indeed, for quite a long time, I was afraid to drive anywhere I didn't know where I was going and also, anywhere at all at nighttime.
I'm glad you're going to therapy. It helped me in many ways, though not for the panic attacks. I got rid of them when I started dealing with my own recovery, and stopped trying to save Trevor.
Bozo, your post makes lots of sense. Facing them; not being afraid of them, would naturally ease the stress that causes panic attacks.
Petra, I wish you the best....
Shalom!
I went through these types of panic attacks. Indeed, for quite a long time, I was afraid to drive anywhere I didn't know where I was going and also, anywhere at all at nighttime.
I'm glad you're going to therapy. It helped me in many ways, though not for the panic attacks. I got rid of them when I started dealing with my own recovery, and stopped trying to save Trevor.
Bozo, your post makes lots of sense. Facing them; not being afraid of them, would naturally ease the stress that causes panic attacks.
Petra, I wish you the best....
Shalom!
Believe in Miracles
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 26
Thank you for your feedback. I am having such a hard time working through these panic attacks. I know the key is not to be afraid of them. I just can't seem to know the difference. I just started zoloft and was afraid to do that but if I don't try I will never know if it will help me. I have tried so many different medications and the only one that really helped me was Xananx but you can't take that during the day or when you are driving. The other antidepressant medications made me more anxious and I had racing thoughts. Zoloft seems to agree with me. I have only been on it for 2 weeks now.
I had such a hard time last night. I went to drive myself to see my AH at the rehab because I really wanted to try but didn't make it....I seem to hit a brick wall and then the fear takes over. I know this and can't stop it. I forget all my tools at that moment. So I turned around and went home. I cried and cried and feel like a failure. This too shall pass I know....I will keep trying.
I had such a hard time last night. I went to drive myself to see my AH at the rehab because I really wanted to try but didn't make it....I seem to hit a brick wall and then the fear takes over. I know this and can't stop it. I forget all my tools at that moment. So I turned around and went home. I cried and cried and feel like a failure. This too shall pass I know....I will keep trying.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Burlington, VT
Posts: 63
Petra...I know this advice might sound really lame but, I have a panic disorder it was totally out of control. I did therapy and meds. It helped. Then something great happened. I started fostering an abandoned dog. He was terribly underweight and needed a lot of TLC.
Every day I was forced to get out of bed and take him on walks(outside!!). I knew he would benefit from more activity so I slowly expanded my circle of doom! lol
Pretty soon me and fred (the dog) were having a great time at the dog park with other dogs and people in a wide open space. (of course I adopted him)
I guess loving him so much and him being in such sad shape made me want to reach out. And, the only way I could help him was to step waaaay outside of my comfort zones. It wasn't easy, but there he was with that reassuring hound dog stare.... (come to think of it he and I had a lot in common...lol, being abused and abandoned, confused, frightened, alone, and lost)
I am never alone anymore, so I'm not afraid. He's great at riding in the car and I take him everywhere with me! He doesn't care what I look like, or what I'm thinking about...He just loves me and wants to be by my side. I wish I could get him registered as a service dog. For me, he might as well be a seeing eye dog.
I know this isn't the answer for everybody...but I wanted to share because I never thought I would get better and I certainly didn't think it would happen like that! It's amazing what love can do.
-Monica
Every day I was forced to get out of bed and take him on walks(outside!!). I knew he would benefit from more activity so I slowly expanded my circle of doom! lol
Pretty soon me and fred (the dog) were having a great time at the dog park with other dogs and people in a wide open space. (of course I adopted him)
I guess loving him so much and him being in such sad shape made me want to reach out. And, the only way I could help him was to step waaaay outside of my comfort zones. It wasn't easy, but there he was with that reassuring hound dog stare.... (come to think of it he and I had a lot in common...lol, being abused and abandoned, confused, frightened, alone, and lost)
I am never alone anymore, so I'm not afraid. He's great at riding in the car and I take him everywhere with me! He doesn't care what I look like, or what I'm thinking about...He just loves me and wants to be by my side. I wish I could get him registered as a service dog. For me, he might as well be a seeing eye dog.
I know this isn't the answer for everybody...but I wanted to share because I never thought I would get better and I certainly didn't think it would happen like that! It's amazing what love can do.
-Monica
Don't get undies in a bunch
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 7,120
Petra
I can't relate because I have found fear to be a friend.
Being over cautious is what I would think brings on the panic? yes?
My being under cautious, I brought on troubles. The fear of the troubles returning or continueing is what brought me to seek a solution to my drinking.
I see fear as a friend when used to control a situation. Put fear on a leash and let it know it isn't in control...You are.
I can't relate because I have found fear to be a friend.
Being over cautious is what I would think brings on the panic? yes?
My being under cautious, I brought on troubles. The fear of the troubles returning or continueing is what brought me to seek a solution to my drinking.
I see fear as a friend when used to control a situation. Put fear on a leash and let it know it isn't in control...You are.
Don't get undies in a bunch
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 7,120
A word picture I use at times...
My hands are bigger then your hands. I can hold more then you because they are bigger. How much bigger are God's hands? Stronger and bigger hands of God can hold and handle what ever we give him. Ask him to hold onto the fear when or if it comes your way.
My hands are bigger then your hands. I can hold more then you because they are bigger. How much bigger are God's hands? Stronger and bigger hands of God can hold and handle what ever we give him. Ask him to hold onto the fear when or if it comes your way.
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