Alcohol Addiction 12 Steps
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| | #26 (permalink) | |
| Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: NY
Posts: 32
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He is controlling in the way that I can't really much on my own...he wants to do everything with me - run errands, do laundry etc. He also needs to be able to reach me at all times and if he can't he freaks. Which is why I am finding it hard to attend a meeting without telling him. I should just tell him I guess. What does he seek to gain? Hmmm...maybe he wants me to rely totally on him? I am not sure. I guess he must be somewhat insecure if he is like this. I was always very independant and used to do EVERYTHING alone. When I was sick with 102 fever I was alone. The comments made in anger? That I don't know... Maybe he is trying to intimidate me to regain control because he feels he doesn't have it? It's not about the sex for me. It's the fact that he will stop by the store to pick up something I am out of when I didn't even ask. Or that he will get up to feed my cat during the night so the cat doesn't wake me. That he thinks I look hot in sweats with my hair a mess. That he will come meet me at work without a moments notice and bring me coffee. That he can make me laugh at myself and he can laugh at himself. That he wants to talk about everything and resolve problems before they become worse. That he has no problem accepting responsibility for his actions, apologizing and admitting when he is wrong. That he accepts me for who I am and that he is always there for me no matter what. I guess he is the first person who loved me for who I am - defects and all. And I feel the same way about him. I have never been this close to anyone before - ever. I never let people that I meet in. | |
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| | #28 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: NY
Posts: 32
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Initially I came here with the question of whether or not he was still an addict. I have never been in a relationship with anyone who used drugs and I have never used any. I wasn't questioning my relationship with him. I got the answer to that question and other advice as well. I am thinking that last question was sarcasm but I am not even sure. |
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| | #30 (permalink) | |
| Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: NY
Posts: 32
| Quote:
I love him and I am worried about him. His health, something terrible happening to him because of the mixing of things. I can't control what he does though and I don't try to. I am happy 90% of the time I am with him. The 10% that I am not is the time when he 'changes'. | |
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| | #32 (permalink) | |
| Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: NY
Posts: 32
| Quote:
His eyes get glassy, he is very relaxed, happier, very talkative, more affectionate and a bit 'spacey' - nods out. I can tell the difference because when he isn't like that he is sharper and definitely more irritable. If he drinks that is another story... That happened once. He becomes more aggressive. Not towards ME physically but gets loud, yells and punched something. The next day he felt horrible and we talked about it. He said he would limit the drinking the next time we went out. He did but he also took Xanax to counteract the alcohol effects. So he was just almost passing out instead. | |
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| | #33 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: NY
Posts: 32
| for splendra
I am getting this message when I try to PM you splendra has exceeded their stored private messages quota and can not accept further messages until they clear some space I will be in touch Friday morning. I'm sorry we couldn't connect. |
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| | #35 (permalink) |
| No expectations! Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 7,606
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Taking Xanax to "counteract" the effects of alcohol is sheer madness. The effects are additive, not opposite. It's very dangerous to mix alcohol and benzos. I know what you mean about the changing. My first husband was what I call a Jekyll-and-Hyde drunk. I think that your boyfriend is still in active addiction and as long as he is, you're always going to be on edge wondering when the next bad thing is going to happen. That's how it was for me anyway. Do check out a meeting soon. And keep checking in here, too. I have to run now, but I'll try to get back later. Have a good day!! Love and hugs, Eddie
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| | #36 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: NY
Posts: 32
| Buprenex to Methadone
Hi, I have another question... My bf stopped taking buprenex. Apparently he became addicted to it and was getting withdrawal symptoms when he stopped. I didn't know that was possible? He is now taking Methadone for 10 days and he said when that is complete he is off opiates completely. I hold it for him and give it to him as needed. Is this common? I was searching on the web and was surprised that he would go from buprenorphine to methadone. Any info that could be provided would be very helpful. Thanks. |
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| | #37 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: chicago, il
Posts: 9
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Im new to the board but Im going thru something similar as you. My current boyfriend who I have been with for 6 months now is to be a recovering heroin addict. He's currently on methadone and has been for awhile. I didnt even know about his past until 2 months ago and what he told me was pretty scary. The amount of heroin he would shoot a day and what he would do to get it. I recently caught him shooting again but he says that he's better than he was before because he's not doing as much and not that often either. ITs a hard thing to go through because I knew him pre-drugs and Ive always loved him. But from what Ive picked up when he's explained why he takes methadone I think is just a cover up so he wont go thru withdrawls when he cant shoot up. Atleast thats what I came up with so im not sure if thats completly right. |
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| | #38 (permalink) |
| Vision of Hope Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Living on This side of the green!!
Posts: 1,062
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buprenorphine was the shot in the butt every 12 hours for 4 days in detox. I know the doctors did not set him up with these to administer him self at home, black market drugs from the internet? methadone, so now he controls you so much he involves you. DO YOU REALLY LIKE THIS WAY OF LIFE? Don't you feel you can find what you really diserve? Just settling is putting a condition on your happiness. So he thinks your hot even before you brush your teeth in the morning, most people who love another person can do that. Telling you wher eyou can and cannot go, He wants you in the same prison he has himself in, Consumed by his life, what about you, do you really deserve this. All we can do is carry the Message that you donot have to live like this, you are being lied to, manipulated and controlled, all we can do is carry the message that there is a better way to live, what you do with this information is up to you, the illusion will be tainted, maybe not shattered but you have heard it. We all come here because we have been there, these women that shared with you have been there and have found a way out. Take care of you, and dont get dragged through the dirt by the disease if all he wants to do is keep doing what he is doing, it will get worse and worse untill you will not gbe able to ask questions on the internet no longer. We help each other because we care and because we have been there. Peace, Todd J.
__________________ We get relief through the Twelve Steps which are essential to the recovery process, because they are a new, spiritual way of life that allows us to participate in our own recovery. We Do Recover Todd J. |
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| | #39 (permalink) | ||
| Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: NY
Posts: 32
| Quote:
Quote:
He is not consumed by the addict lifestyle anymore. He is going off drugs - the problem is that he is having withdrawal symptoms which is part of the process. I don't think you read the most recent question I was asking. | ||
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| | #40 (permalink) |
| the girl can't help it |
(((fitnessgirrl))) I think what Todd was saying is that no it is not common for the addict to be administreing the drugs to himself. If he is injecting it this may not be legal. I believe methadone may come in a pill form that is to be taken by mouth not injected. Is he injecting it? You mentioned that he was injecting the buprenophine which is not legal. Making you responsible for holding his drugs does sound a little fishy for a number of reasons...
__________________ nice has a hisssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss |
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| | #41 (permalink) | |
| Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: NY
Posts: 32
| Quote:
http://www.fda.gov/cder/foi/label/2002/18401slr14lbl.pdf#search='buprenex' I am becoming an expert. He asked me to hold the methadone because he has a tendancy to take too much when he is having a 'bad day'. It's a valid prescription from our local pharmacy and not illegal. I picked it up for him actually. | |
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| | #42 (permalink) |
| Vision of Hope Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Living on This side of the green!!
Posts: 1,062
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I wasn't saying this to be mean, I was saying I had the shots in my butt in detox, it is hard to get doctors to prescrbe bupenex. Also, you are very involved with his addiction if you can admitt this fact or not. I hope you and him find the help, its out there, His willingness to change is on him, no matter how informed you do become. Please dont think I am trying to be nasty here, I just don't talk about the most popular stuff to get everyone to like me, I would rather save your but then to say, "Oh, it will be ok", that would hurt you more that help you. Peace, Todd J.
__________________ We get relief through the Twelve Steps which are essential to the recovery process, because they are a new, spiritual way of life that allows us to participate in our own recovery. We Do Recover Todd J. |
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| | #43 (permalink) | |
| No expectations! Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 7,606
| Quote:
As far as the relationship goes, either your boyfriend is misinformed himself or he is misleading you intentionally. He is minimizing his problem to you and that IS manipulation. fitnessgirrl, I have been on both sides of the fence as an addict myself and the wife of two addicts. I'm also a pharmacist and am trained as a substance abuse counselor as well, so I should know what I'm talking about. Wishing you all the best!! Love and hugs, Eddie
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| | #44 (permalink) | |
| Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: NY
Posts: 32
| Quote:
He knows exactly what he is doing and unfortunately I don't. He reads up on everything before he does it. According to him the methadone (7 days of treatment) will get him off the opiates. Even though he is taking the methadone he is not doing well. He hasn't been eating at all, (he lost a lot of weight) he can't sleep and is up all night and he is having a lot of body aches. Today he called his 'connection' right in front of me to try to get xanax to get him through work tonight. I asked him to please not do it. What is the point of trying to get off opiates to do something else? I am hoping he doesn't but I have no control over it. I know he wants to do stuff. He has said it and he talks about drugs all the time. I know he is not having an easy time. This is actually his first week off everything completely. You guys were right that he was doing stuff all along. | |
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| | #45 (permalink) |
| No expectations! Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 7,606
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You're welcome, fg!! Usually, Suboxone is used to help people get off methadone, not vice versa. Methadone is extremely difficult to withdraw from. It's supposed to be easier to get off the Suboxone, which is buprenorphine and naloxone. That's why I said going from buprenorphine to methadone is backwards. Love and hugs, Eddie
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| | #46 (permalink) |
| the girl can't help it |
((FG))) Why do you keep saying he is off of everything? he is not. You said a couple of weeks ago that he was then opiate free... I am getting confused..isn't he also doing steriods? xanex? methadone and alcohol? Now you are saying he will be opiate free when he gets off of the methadone. is methadone an opiate? I
__________________ nice has a hisssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss |
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| | #47 (permalink) | |
| Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: NY
Posts: 32
| Quote:
Yes, methadone is an opiate but it is also used to get people off of other opiates. Which is what he told me he was taking it for. Except...yesterday I gave him his pills when he woke up - the dosage decreases every two days. He saw where they were this time but I trusted him. I went back to sleep. All day he was in a much better mood and I thought it was odd. He went to work and later that night I opened the pill bottle and two were missing. I freaked. This means that he took 15mg MORE than he was supposed to at ANY time. Even the first day he went on them. He wasn't supposed to go over 30mg. Then this morning at 5:30am he was like "Are you asleep? My pills aren't where they are supposed to be? I thought you were going to give them back to me." (I told him he could have them and take them when he wants when I was angry.) So I said "Nope, they aren't." Then I got aggravated again because he obviously went looking for them. I couldn't go back to sleep. I am still upset by this. He said he didn't think I would notice them missing. I am not stupid. He also thinks I got too upset about it. Maybe I did - I don't know. He has to get more now because he doesn't have enough to taper off his dose correctly. He took an extra half in the beginning as well. What am I supposed to do? Do I continue holding it and hiding it from him? Or do I let him do what he wants? Is he even going to be able to stop completely? He said he was ready and he could have gotten more buprenorphine if he wasn't. | |
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