Blake

I have been going to meetings on practically a daily basis for the last year, I pick up 1 year clean 2 weeks from today and I'm feeling a little burnt out on going to meetings everyday. I'm bored with it and I notice I'm sitting there judgeing people and finding the differences instead of the similarities...

I don't like feeling like this and it kinda scares me. I have seen people wuit comming to meetings after they picked up a year and a few months after they stop comming, they come back and get a white keytag, I don't want this to happen to me, but I think I need to find some balance. My whole life revolves around work and NA. I get up, go to work, get off work, go to meeting, come home and go to sleep, rinse and repeat....I want something more, but I don't know what.

My sponsor suggested I try to back off going to meetings everyday but to still make at least 4 per week, so I'm gonna try that and see what comes up....**** it's not like I have anything else to do besides go to meetings anyway, I don't know how I'm gonna spend those 3 nights a week, but I'll figure something out...

Have any of yall felt like this before? How did yall deal with it?

Thanks,
Blake

splendra

I went to meeting every day in the beginning for about a year...then tapered to 4 a week then 3 now I go to one every two weeks after 5years...

I say do what feels right just stay clean. Maybe you could take a night course in something you might enjoy learning or further your education for your work...of course you always have us too!!

Luckyv2

I can certainly understand Blake where you are coming from. I was told early on there are only two times that you need to go to a meeting

1. When you want to go
2. When you don't want to go.

For me today I like to go, not always, but I am doing the same as the ones before me did. I try to suit up and show up, there just might be that newcomer there. I just got back from a meeting and yes I have had that year before, I remember walking in that day pissed off because I wasn't happy. Here everyone was there with gifts and smiles and I came in mad. One thing I learned is that all I have to do today is just be me. Today I enjoy going to meetings, some days I don't want to go but I DO. Hang in there man this too will pass

Love Vic

Justme57

Hi Blake ! I am an AA person,k but I was a bit the same as you at about the same time in my Sobriety, and was a bit worried.

Some of the things I did

* organised with a couple of people from the meetings I attended, to do a " group visit " to an out of town meeting , we did this every couple of weeks, the meeting in the car there and back was great too, and we all got to know each other a lot better, and now even do some social stuff together.
* I attended meetings in the city thart i didnt usually go to . new stories , and people
* Attended different types of meetings, "discussion", speaker" ID ect
* I got myself on the local AA detox roster
* Put myself on the 12 step roster

all of these things helped , and I am no longer burnt out ! not today anyway LOL
HUGX
Lee

rocksteady

I can definetely relate. I went from never attending a meeting in my life to going to a meeting everyday. I'll tell you what, going to a meeting everyday got old after awhile. I started judging people, over analyzing stuff, and found myself getting angry. I started to taper off to three formal meetings a week. Those other nights I tried to do something for my recovery besides going to a meeting. I go to meetings to learn how to live my life on the outside. It sounds like your still trying to find out who you really are and what your interested in. I'm in that same boat right now. I just got back into school for my Master degree two nights a week. The other night I try to meet up with the one person who I truely hang out with in the program. We'll try to find something other than a meeting to go and have some fun, like Dave and Buster's, bowling, or a movie. Do you have anyone you hang out with in the program outside of the rooms? Even though I'm in a place right now that I'm not 100% comfortable with myself, I'm staying sober and that's what's most important to me. I hope that's what's most important to you as well. Keep me posted bro.

best

Read your own post and look at what you are saying.

Even though you feel negative about what you are feeling/thinking, you are learning.
I can't fix a problem till I know what the problem is.

Think about those who came back for the white tag. If you were not at meetings, you wouldn't have seen that lesson.

Nights off... go to a gym, look into taking classes, try some hobbies, service work. Volunteer at a shelter maybe?
Try different things till you find something you like.
For some, making a model ship in a bottle is a challenge they enjoy. It isn't something I would have the patience for. Making and painting bird houses is something I would enjoy more.

Give things a try, you will find many things I am sure.

Old fart

Hi Blake we get clean and have to learn how to enjoy life.Your sponsor has goood advise.At a year clean I started fishing again.Then started bowling. I have a home group that is very active we have a campout every year that has grown from 15 people to 347 last year.We also go white water rafting in the summer.I did not get clean to just set around.The perpose of getting clean to me was to live and learn to injoy life.The program will allways come first and through it I have learned to really love life.In a few weeks I to will have a birthday.This are a great celabration of life so learn to enjoy it.You will be 1 I will be 23 so I speek to you with a little bit of experiance get involved with life there is good fun out there.

Sugah

I understand the judgmental attitude. For me, the less grateful I am, the more I judge others. If I pray for those I feel are straying off the path...even reach out to them and express my concern, I feel like I'm doing something rather than just judging. I just have to be sure that my motives aren't to validate my own sense of superiority. There is always the possibility that my judgment might be wrong....ya' never know <?xml:namespace prefix = v ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:vml" /><v:shapetype id=_x0000_t75 stroked="f" filled="f" path="m@4@5l@4@11@9@11@9@5xe" o:preferrelative="t" o:spt="75" coordsize="21600,21600"><v:stroke joinstyle="miter"></v:stroke><v:formulas><v:f eqn="if lineDrawn pixelLineWidth 0"></v:f><v:f eqn="sum @0 1 0"></v:f><v:f eqn="sum 0 0 @1"></v:f><v:f eqn="prod @2 1 2"></v:f><v:f eqn="prod @3 21600 pixelWidth"></v:f><v:f eqn="prod @3 21600 pixelHeight"></v:f><v:f eqn="sum @0 0 1"></v:f><v:f eqn="prod @6 1 2"></v:f><v:f eqn="prod @7 21600 pixelWidth"></v:f><v:f eqn="sum @8 21600 0"></v:f><v:f eqn="prod @7 21600 pixelHeight"></v:f><v:f eqn="sum @10 21600 0"></v:f></v:formulas><v:path o:connecttype="rect" gradientshapeok="t" o:extrusionok="f"></v:path><?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:lock aspectratio="t" v:ext="edit"></o:lock></v:shapetype><v:shape id=_x0000_i1025 style="WIDTH: 12pt; HEIGHT: 12pt" alt="" type="#_x0000_t75"><v:imagedata o:href="http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/images/smilies/wink.gif" src="file:///C:\DOCUME~1\Jody\LOCALS~1\Temp\msohtml1\01\clip_im age001.gif"></v:imagedata></v:shape><o:p></o:p>

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After three years and a few months, I do a minimum three meetings a week. It had been five or six, but in the name of balance, I knew that I needed a couple extra nights to spend with my family, study, and just veg.<o:p></o:p>

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I do do something for my recovery every day, though. Every couple of weeks, I do a jail meeting. A couple of times a week, I have check-ins with sponsees who're through the steps but, of course, still need to work on them. I talk to my sponsor, but probably not enough! I'm on the Helpline. After my Friday night meeting, a group, whoever wants to go, converges on Perkins, eats and shoots the breeze till about midnight. Newcomers are urged to come with us, and if they can't afford the meal, we don't let him or her know who paid for it. Same thing after my home group meeting on Saturdays, but we invade the pizza shop. We know all the waitresses, and they love us because we tip well and don't cuss much. There's an old fashioned kitchen table men's meeting that my husband has on Thursdays, and if I need a meeting, they are not adverse to me joining in...though I don't unless only a few show or I really need a meeting. I spend time here and a couple of other message boards. I read non-program books and poetry...amazing how many program principles I find or characters who suffer from spiritual maladies.<o:p></o:p>

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What do you like to do, Blake? What can you do for your recovery in addition to your meetings? Something that I found very important for me was to make sure I practiced the eleventh step every day. That really helps to counter the judgmental thoughts.<o:p></o:p>

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You've come along way. Quite possibly, what you're feeling might be the complacency we're warned so much about in our early days. Program burnout is definitely not unheard of....so, what are you doing to bring balance into your life? Talk it out....bet you come up with a plan.<o:p></o:p>

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Peace & Love,<o:p></o:p>

Sugah<o:p></o:p>

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Justme57

I loved your post Sugah, you sound as if you do much the same as me lol

I have sure done a lot of eating out since I got sober ! The places we go to, even see us coming and move tables together for us ! One place asked me the other day, if " all you ladies work together on Wednesdays" lol.

I isolated so much in the last 5 years of my drinking that i had to learn social skills , and it was being invited to join the after meeting pizza eat, at my first home group, which played a big part in my feeling " accepted", and I have never forgotten that , so I try to do thwe same for "newcomers".

HUGX
Lee

Blake

Thanks for the replies all yall....lots of good info.

I have a ton of friends in NA and I'm very involved, We go to this mexican place every Tuesday for dollar taco night and on fridays and saturdays a bunch of us will usually go out o eat then go see a movie or go chill at my place after the meeting. I am heavily envolved in service, I'm gsr of my home group, vicechair of the A&F comitee, and I do H&I every month or two.

I think the problem is that even though I'm very busy in my life in NA, I am kinda stagnant in my life outside of NA......a friend of mine, however, has convinced me to learn how to skydive with him and we were planning to go start the training this weekend, the weather isn't gonna allow it so it'll wait till next weekend, so that may possibly be a new hobby for me.

Next semester I think I'm gonna get back in school, I only have 1 year left on my current degree, but I think I'm gonna switch majors, so that'll keep me busy.

Maybe I just have the "comming up on a birthday" jitters....who knows?

One thing I do know is that **** will all work out the way it is supposed to weather I like it or not, I'm just along for the ride....

Thank yall,
Blake

Justme57

Now Blake , please dont go overboard with this "other stuff" ! Couldnt you train for ping pong ? Skydiving is a bit extreme isn't it ?

ROFL

HUGX
Lee

Blake

It's something I allways wanted to do, but would never part with dope money for...

<---------me next weekend!!!

best

Thats danderous

Why not try something safe...Motorcycle racing or volunteer with the bomb squad *LOL*

I did parasailing. It was a blast. Don't know if I would do the free fall.

120 MPH on a motorcycle is ok though *LOL*

Blake

I'm doing the 120/mph....just with out the bike, those things will kill ya...

Peter

Oh yeah, Blake I been there.

I called it "Living In the triangle" WORK , HOME , MEETINGS , WORK ,HOME , MEETINGS.......day in day out. During one three year period I don't think I missed more than ten meetings. I started to become pretty damn posessive about the place and felt I had staked some kinda claim in NA.

You definately need to take some time out and contrary to what some members might tell you: THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG WITH TAKING TIME OUT EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE.

I sent myself on vacation (literally) for a month. I bought a plane ticket and went to visit my cousin in Florida and I went nowhere near a meeting.

I think after a year clean in NA it is time to start putting into practise some of what you learn, after all recovery is about "getting our life back" You can't get on with your life if you are at meetings all the time.

A break will do you good.

I get the feeling you have some good recovery going on and I am confident in time you will find a more comfortable balance with your meeting schedule.

Lbad

I have gone to a lot of meetings in my life and I have never heard, "I went to to many meetings." I have heard, "I got burned out I started going to less meetings, I took a "break" and I slipped away." Then they relapsed or life got miserable or whatever. This is just my experience. I like what Lucky said. I have been taught by many people who have long term recovery. Go to meetings when you want to and when you don't want to. When I start to feel a little bored I get a little possee together and we go to different meetings. I think there is everything wrong with taking a time out from recovery. We have a daily reprieve. We need to do the deal all the time. Once again this is just my opinion and what I have seen work for me and others with long term recovery. Love you tons and tons Blake. Can't wait for your birthday.

Sugah

I heard a lady who just celebrated 23 years share that every year around her sobriety birthday, she notices two things: 1) she has a "wet" (drinking) dream, and 2) she gets in a mood that she often can't identify, even after all these years, until she remembers it's "time to take stock." She looks back over her year, gives herself credit for the progress she's made and makes note of the things she needs to be working on. Call it a mini-mental-fourth step. Then, she calls her sponsor and talks about it (hrm? 5th step?). The dream she attributes as a gift from her HP reminding her of who she is and what is in store for her if she forgets. The mood functions much the same way.

I agree that we need to be occupied outside meetings. We got clean to live, not just to live inside the rooms.

You know, it's a funny thing about having a program. It's portable, and it goes anywhere with us. I take my program to school with me, and my HP has seen to it to put people in my life for whom I can be useful....people who are addicts and non-addicts alike.

And, as far as that skydiving stuff, so long as you start with both feet on the ground, I think it sounds like a lot of fun

Peace & Love,
Sugah

Gooch

Yeah Sugah .. even though in my head I know it's just another day there's a little piece of me that tears off the calender pages and thinks I need to have a party or something.

We tend to get a little wierd and the first few big anniversaries seem to be the most difficult to process.

Cindi R

Skydiving....yes!
Ever since I watched the movie "Point Break"...I've said "I'm going to do that someday"...
and yes I've come to a place 4.5 years into my program that I'm sick of the meetings. I'm sick of the same old stories, I'm sick of the same people whining about the same crap week after week...
and here it's become a lot about religion..., going to a certain church in addition to NA, and gossip about other members, and a whole lotta BS and 13th stepping.
I still go to a meeting F2F every 2 or 3 weeks to keep the rumor mill at bay
Today I do have a life that does not include the meetings every day.
But, I continue to do daily readings/meditations and spend time on recovery websites on a daily basis.
I also have an occasional opportunity to do a 12 step call through my workplace.

Gooch

? ? ?



I looked all over the literature and couldn't find this one under reasons to go to meetings.

Do you think thats why some other members go to meetings?

may be that explains some of the .

" same old stories"

" same people whining about the same crap week after week..."

"gossip about other members"

" and a whole lotta BS and 13th stepping."