GwenMarie30

Im Gwen and I am an addict with my recovery beginning November 15th, 2005. I just joined this web site this morning hoping to aid my recovery and find answers. I was reading through some of the post. It seems with each day of recovery I am finally realizing how much damage Ive done to myself but more- to those who love me. I think they are trying to forgive me by being there but I really dont think I can forgive myself. It one thing for what Ive done to myself but what Ive done to family. Sometimes I think the guilt will eat me alive inside worse than any drug I can do. The words "Im sorry" seems like such a pitiful excuse.

splendra

Welcome (((Gwen)))

Hey, congrats on the clean time!!! That is awesome.....

Guilt it is hard. But, I'll bet your loved ones are so relieved. Keep working at your program and learn about loving yourself be gentle with yourself be good to the ones you love. Just stay clean and before you know it you will have earned back their trust and more importantly you will have your self respect. It will be okay...

Moontime

Hi! Guilt can tear me up inside. The only way I have been able to deal with Guilt was to ask My God for guidance through it. To pray to God to help me move foward so I'm not stuck in Guilt. I used to get stuck for a few months in Guilt, now I get through it within a day. God is good and Prayer works that's my experience

Peter

Welcome Gwen.

Working The Steps of Narcotics Anonymous may help with the guilt, especially Step 9.

I know you regret a lot of the things you have done but the greatest amends you can make to anyone is to stay clean for the remainder of your life.

Gooch

We are not responsible for our disease. We are responsible for our recovery.

You have started your recovery and working the steps with a sponsor will help you to come to terms with your past, live with joy in the present, and have faith to look forward to the future.

lost dreams awaken and new possibilities arise!

namommy

Welcome to SR.

It's probably one of the first feelings we get back in recovery. We learn how to work through it and own what is ours and leave what isn't.

Keep doing the next right thing and you will get through it.

Blake

Guilt hit me really hard when I started working my first step. I kinda freaked out about it for a while, but someone told me that the past is the past and nothing I do will change what has happened and it helped me to come to some acceptance over it.

Some of my favorite words when I was using was "I'm sorry", but I would turn around and do the samething again and again, so me telling people that I'm sorry doesn't hold water for me anymore. What I try to do today is to tell people that "I was wrong and I won't do that again" and not doing it anymore.

YOu are doing the next right thing by staying clean for today and actively seeking out recovery. Learning from my mistakes is the best way I have found to make up for my shortcommings, so far. Keep on trucking and bad feelings pass and we grow.

Good luck,
Blake

frosti

I think that the way I deal with my guilt is to live the steps not just do them. I somtime ago became a Christian and soon after I started practising to live a good life that I realized that I wasn't feeling guilty any more and I say practising literaly as that I'm not always the perfect Christian gentleman but from where I came from I'm definately new and improved from the guy that used to live in here.

GwenMarie30

Thank you to you all for your help. Some one sent me a link in a private message that really helped me yesterday. Its one that I do believe I will be reading several times a day. http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/narcotics-anonymous/open-your-basic-text-82046.html[/url] ....Thanks Vic

deenrose

In the past guilt would eat me up inside and keep me in a funk for a long while. However, I found that is wasted energy. I cannot do anything about the past. However, I do have control over what I do in the future. I keep that up front.

A counselor once told me in treatment that I should only apologize once. Then, I should move on. I think that someone put it the best way in an earlier post reply. The best amends that we can possibly make is by getting and remaining clean...

Lastly, Prayer is a major help also...

Luckyv2

Your Welcome Gwen I need to remember that myself so I think I better tell my sponsor to tell me that maybe for a month. Another thing I have done and it helps. Is to look in the mirror and say "I am a child of God in whom he is well pleased" say that 30 times a day for a month you won't believe how you will feel. I am going to start it today...

Love Vic