Dan

Surrender To Win

" Help for addicts begins only when we are able to admit complete defeat."
Basic Text, p. 22

Complete defeat-what a concept! That must mean surrender. Surrender-to give up absolutely. To quit with no reservations. To put up our hands and quit fighting. Maybe to put up our hand at our first meeting and admit we're addicts.

How do we know we've taken a First Step that will allow us to live drug-free? We know because, once we have taken that gigantic step, we never have to use again-just for today. That's it. It's not easy, but it's very simple.

We work the First Step. We accept that, yes, we are addicts. "One is too many, and a thousand never enough." We've proven that to ourselves enough times. We admit that we cannot handle drugs in any form. We admit it; we say it out loud, if necessary.

We take the First Step at the beginning of our day. For one day. This admission frees us, just for today, from the need to live out our addiction all over again. We've surrendered to this disease. We give up. We quit. But in quitting, we win. And that's the paradox of the First Step: We surrender to win, and by surrendering we gain a far greater power than we ever imagined possible.

Just for today: I admit that I am powerless over my addiction. I will surrender to win.
pg. 13

Just For Today Daily Meditation is the property of Narcotics Anonymous©

deenrose

I am feeling feeling today's reading from just for today. I feel different now that I have surrendered. For myself I find it necessary to do that on a daily basis. Today I have no reservations. I can remember being in treatment and reading steps one through three over and over again. I can remember on reading step one in 'IT WORKS, HOW & WHY'. It talked about surrender and it says, "In recovery, we find that surrender involves letting go of our reservations about recovery and being willing to try a different approach to life." (p.11) After reading that I asked myself ,"what is meant by reservation?" I found it on the preceeding page where it states, "We begin to let go of our reservations, those parts of ourselves we won't surrender to the program." A little while later it states, "Reservations can be anything: a belief that because we never had a problem with particular drug, we can still use it; placing a condition on out recovery, such as only staying clean as long as our expectations are met; a belief that we can still be involved with the same people associated with our addiction; a belief that we can use again after a certain amount of time clean; a consious or unconsious decision to work only certain steps. With the help of other recovering addicts, we can find ways to put our reservations behind us. The most important thing for us to know about reservations is that, by by keeping thyem, we are reserving a place in our program for relapse." (p.10) I found this to be profound because in these statements I saw myself in the past. At one time or another I tried all of these things. I was never able to use sucessfully. Even from the very begining. So now,I have chosen to throw in the towel and surrender....