godsonmyside

Just an observation I've had for some time.

I have been around NA since 1987 and changed my clean date a couple of times and today work the Programand Surrender to the God of my understanding and my life is really great.

Getting involved with service is a blessing, I serve God, not names and positions. Members involved today seem to get in on the gimmicks 0f popularity and I see our Fellowship struggling. Newer members are telling the more experienced members how many meeting a week they should be going to, older members not getting along because of the change NA has become, Groups not voting on issues, but members looking at the popular guy, you know the one that sponsors have the service structure in your own area to see what they vote.

It gets frustrating to see this. We are hurting each other in this Fellowship over EGO, and many come here and just settle for abtinance. You hear in meetings about the addict with 10 years clean, arrested for shoplifting, and turn around and say "But I didn't use", still killing them selves, just without the chemical. That saying members with clean time and no recovery, "Cleantime doesn't equal recovery", yelling back that thats wrong to say that, and explain that they just got out of jail for not being responsible and this and that.

I was taught that the Steps are our solution, and at some point I had to get with God. The only way through the storm was to go through it not around it. I got with some men and started doing some work and getting to know these men and have developed some good relationships. Hell, we go to meetings today and everyone races home instead of going out for coffee anymore. We are headed toward loosing some of our meeting places because insurance is going to start being required, or renting a facility is going up from what it used to be years ago. To start a meeting in the town I am on a Friday Night, cheapest is $10 a night, $40 a month, years ago they took donations, those days are gone.

Example: PI wanted to get a website for the ASC and handle it a update it, the GSR's took the wrong information saying we had web space th the World site, voted down the Web site, turned around the next month with a motion for an Air-conditioner at headquarter. We pay $150/month for the space everything included. It is just insane some of the things that go on, not everyone wants a new way to live, accepting that comes over a period of time.

I just wanted to babble for a few, hope someone got something out of this.

Peace,
Todd J.

Gooch

I don't intend to tell you I know how frustrated you are about this Todd. I will tell you I probably have a good idea though..

It's disheartening to know on the one hand all the people who found their footing in recovery in the Finger Lakes area and see all the close ties and bonds over the years, then on the other see all the ugly. unrestrained, innaceptable, behaviours and subsequent harm done.

I don't enjoy the closeness with quite so many these days. Mostly my choice. I've stuck my neck out enough times over the years to provide a convenient target for anyone who would rather focus on my shortcomings than their own.

I simply don't have the time and energy to devote to all that "stuff" anymore. I seem to be somewhat at a disadvantage knowing how to life life on it's own terms. Paying my bills, keeping a job, processing all the paperwork, forms, certifications, and red tape just to be an everyday uS citizen, while I try and take care of myself, my family, and be there the best I can for my friends, keeps me too busy to dwell on the he said, they did games.

I respect your dedication to the fellowship and all that you do in the pursuit of sharing and going after your recovery, and there are times I wish I might have just a little more to give back to the program that saved my behind. I hope you can take a step back, along with a deep breath and let your boudary lines settle. Own what is yours and pray that others will pick up their baggage and quit offloading it on everyone else.

Keep fighting the good fight brother as you remember we don;t have to be disagreeable to disagree.

REZ

We are all sick. Some are sicker than others. Principles before personalities.

Phinneas

Amen.

You know what? Sometimes I want to shout at people that there are 12 Steps in recovery. You know the people I am talking about... the ones who go to meetings and talk the talk, the ones who do step 1 and step 12 and think they have recovery.

Arg!

But then I have to take a step back and remember that MY program is all I need be concerned about. As long as I am doing the work I can keep my side of the street cleaned. Oh yeah - and with all the work I am doing comes acceptance and tolerance and patience.

Sigh.

I get your frustration and I share it. Am I doing my part? Yes? OK, then that's what is important.

Luckyv2

Yep I believe that but in early recovery at least for me and I think everyone know that I had to accept the fact that I had to stay clean before I could begin to recover. That is the first and most important thing that any of us have to do or there is not a chance for recovery. Now I am finding myself looking for a way to do things different, that only came from staying clean. I now find myself not reacting when I would have before, I see myself helping others when I couldn't even help myself (or so I thought)!!!

And yes I really believe that the only way are the Steps I am now starting to answer the questions for step 5, I have shared my 4th step with my sponsor. I am now getting to have a relationship my God again. But I have to constantly work on my program and myself. Thanks for all your knowledge Todd and others here.

Love Vic

Blake

Have you tried the serenity prayer? It helps me when I get frustrated about stuff out of my control.

Another thing that helps me is to trust the fact that my HP will work everything out the way it is supposed to as long as I take care of me and my side of the street.

I am envolved with sercive...it gets sticky sometimes, but everything has worked out the way it was suppose to so far, even if I didn't agree with it at the time.

Hope you find some peace about this,
Blake

godsonmyside

God is bigger than any of this, the truth will **** you off befor eit sets you free. I talk about it with others and then its gone, this is a beautiful way to vent. I don't own this stuff, NA doesn't own these problems, this is part of that Society as well, Life on Lifes terms. I don't tell God how big my problems are, I tell my problems how big my God is.

I love NA and its a God given Program. I am human, a servant of God, the human part of me has feelings and to serve God means I will dress up and Show up, no matter what.
Its hard to let humans be humans. Our message is blurred and It's our duties to experss the truth even if that means, hate me now and love me tomorrow. Today I work the Universal God giving Program and work the 4 sides of the coin and carry the message to the addict who still suffers and can look others in the eyes and be grateful for who I am today.

Thats a Beautiful thing!!!!