Nickaddict

I'm feeling sick for more then a week now - got a nasty cold/flue thingy - and for the last 2 days I feel that I'm unwilling to work my program.
I did went to meetings, stayed clean, but I made a commitment with my sponsor that I'd make a program each day and try to follow that to the best of my ability.

But the last 2 days I didn't do that. I didn't pray either...I felt so tired and eventually so unwilling. I just went to meetings and that's it.
I dunno...somehow it feels "not right" to skip my commitments and on the other hand I kinda like it too.

Today I did make a program but I'm already feeling that I'm very unwilling to carry that out. Am I kidding myself or something?
I feel that I deserve a "break" but I know my disease doesn't take any breaks.
I don't know what I should do. My sponsor suggest taking contrary action...yeah right...that's the ONE thing I do not want to do...

Bleh, I feel that I'm in a strange space. I just want to forgot about my disease - sleep, read a book (not literature but a novel or something) or play computer games. Stuff like that.

Am I setting myself up for a relapse here? Or is this normal?

best

And when you were using, did such feelings stop you from finding a connection?

Every inch we give away can be an inch towards a relapse.

No stead fast rules... these are just things to keep in mind. Motivators.

Now as to the feelings...
What I do to push myself out of a slump (when I remember to think) Rather then sleep the day away, a long hot shower to get me moving.
Sit and listen to my favorite kind of music.
Or as you said... read a good book.
Anything that will lift my spirits is a work in recovery.
Just don't use is the goal.

As far as not feeling the desire to pray, make a short prayer... "fill me with a desire" As you continue on your day and doing things that will lift your spirits, you will find the desire and the prayer come.

namommy

Give yourself a break. You're sick. Take a hot bath or shower, read that book if you feel like.

Like Best said, the goal is just DO NOT USE. that's all. The rest will eventually come. Be good to yourself and take care of your health today.

BTW, I get a little snappy with addicts who come to meetings sick and then go and hug everyone or cough all over everyone. I don't want to feel the way you do.

Nickaddict

Yep, I was setting myself up for a relapse I found out.
After a while I got an overwhelming desire to use.
I called a fellow recovering addict, he picked me up and we went to a meeting (eventhough I really didn't want to go).
It was a beginners meeting, step 1 was read and somebody shared their experience with that on it.
I felt the desire slowly melt away...and I felt that I am fysicly sick and didn't take care of that enough.
So I shared my using desire and that it was slowly melting away.
Bottom line: I DIDN'T PICK UP!!!! YES!!!

I'm gonna take both your advice and step under a nice, hot shower and turn in early with a good book to read
And I will kneel down beside my bed and say a big THANK YOU to my HP!

One more clean day = one more succesful day. That's enough for now.

P.S. NAmommy: how about a nice safe cyberhug for you then?

best

Way to Go
Congratulations on another day collected.

Remember what works and use it daily and as needed.

KelKel