jules01

ok so my husband walked out tonight and signed divorce papers.......alls i want to do is use!!! i keep telling myself not to but my addict is getting the best of me.....

Paulie

You came here and posted that is a good thing.

What will using get you? nothing at all!!!! Keep a clear mind and just stay in the moment. Without sobriety what do you have?

Phinneas

Don't use, Jules. You know it will only make things WORSE.

Grab your BB or Basic Text and read, call someone in recovery, take a hot bath, go for a walk... do whatever it takes to get through the next 5 minutes, the next hour and so on.

There is a meeting here starting in a little over an hour. Hang out, read some posts and then join us? (You have to register for chat beforehand.) Give it a try.

Hugs,

phinny

ASH

Hi Jules, sound like a tough evening but be strong, you can do it.
Glad your here just keep reading and posting to keep your mind off using,
dont go back now it wont help, it always makes things worse.
Do you go to meetings, do you have any phone numbers????
Please keep posting

Jennipoo

Hold On!!! Hold On!!! Hold On!!!

hopealwayz

Using will only make it worse.
Stick around and keep us close tonight.
Remember that you are not alone.
You can get through this honey.

jules01

Thanks everyone for the words or encouragement...i am trying so hard to fight the demons within.. and the sad thing is ik that if i use that it wont make things all better but i guess i know its just a quick fix...make me numb....i just dont want to feel all the hurt and anger......I have not gone to any meetings yet so i dont have a sponser or any other numbers so i am trying...this site right now is all i have

unspun

Hang in there........it will get better

hugs

BikerBill8

Call the NA Hot Line so that you can talk to someone and get suport. Just don't pick up thats not the answer.

jules01

Ok...so last night was bad but with the help of all of you i did it!! there was a few very close calls but i didnt do it. Thank you all so much for being there in a time that i truely believed i was going to use again!! You are all wonderful

Julie

hopealwayz

Julie,
I was so happy to hear that you made it through the night clean. That is making you stronger. Even though using seems like a quick fix, it really is self-defeating because it only makes us feel even crappier in the long run. We are depleting our brains of the chemicals that is uses naturally so in the end, we are stick in a hole of depression. Each sober day brings us one step closer to healing and feeling better without the use of chemicals. I am at 37 days clean now and I can feel a huge difference. Actually I could start to feel a huge difference around 2 weeks-30 days.
Call the NA hotline and try to check into going to some meetings. The love in those rooms are wonderful. There is truly a special bond that runs through it.
Always remember that we are here for you. You are never alone.

If you ever want to chat, PM me anytime!
Love,
Cheryl

Gooch

see ....you have just proved that we never have to use no matter what!

Granted these feelings are difficult for us but we can get through them straight and we gain the proof that we can survive our feelings.

Now you'll be able to offer your experience, strength, and hope to the newcomer.

Yoguina

WOW JULIE, WE ARE SOOOO PROUD OF YOU....did you not use because you thought of your baby and your 2 1/2 year old??? or what???? how cool is that!! get to the meetings, they will help you....what are you waiting for???? do not wait, just go go go!!! and take care of yourself, look how many people are rooting for you??? if you catch yourself wanting to use again, DO CALL THE HELP HOTLINE and speak to a real voice, someone that will help you get through the moment.... forget the demons, they are bad for you,,,keep them away, far far away from you, it's all in the mind, be strong and there will be other great great moments just waiting for you to make them happen!!!

BeginAgain

Major accomplishment!! These experiences teach us alot about survival in recovery. So often we don't know that we can cope without drugs. THe first time we survive a crisis in recovery is just amazing - or it was to me. Every victory gives you more stregnth for the next bump in the road.

I guess I'm sort of repeating what Gooch said..but it's just such a miracle to open your eyes the day after something like this and know you survived!

Keep coming back!!!!

REZ

Hang in there! It gives me hope to know that you can stay clean through this.

roses2005

Hey jules,
I know it sounds cliquiche( i hope thats how you spell it) but everything happens for a reason. I dont know your situation, but ill definitely keep you in my prayers. I do know out of experience if you have a problem and you throw either a six pack or a bundle of dope on top of that problem, you got yourself a bigger and worse problem. Go to a meeting and tell on yourself. Go to a thousand meetings if you have to. Anything but using(I know easier said than done) But take a time in your life when you were in active addiction and rewind the tape all the way back IT SUCKS !!!!!!.I know there has to be things in your life you are grateful for, so take this time and write out a gratitude list. Believe me, youll feel better. HERES A GREAT BIG HUG FOR YOU.and good luck!!!!! Keep posting well be here.

jules01

I am not real sure what made me not use. I guess in part it was my kids and knowing that it was just going to be me and them and they deserve better than that. They are going to know that they can depend on me and that I will be clean and avaliable to them. Also just all of the words of encouragement here really helped alot because i have to be honest before the first post i was ready...really ready and then i got that first post and started to think. (((HUGS)))) and thank you sooooo much!!

Luckyv2

Just checking in to see if you are OK>>>and it looks as if your doing good. You didn't use because you truely don't want to use. If we truely wanted to use we would not be here. I have found that out..glad that your here...

Love Vic