onedayatatime12

Ok, i know she doesnt trust me, but everytime i get home from a meeting and call her, the third degree starts...where were you, you sound funny, what meeting did you go to,,,,,I cant stand it anymore, as i get sober, it seems like i dont want to call her anymore,,
What should i do

phoenixn

Her lack of trust in your recovery is natural and normal. Respond to her with kindness and patience. Time, and your continued sobriety will take care of this problem.

Soul Catcher

I do this to my ah. It's because the faith in you is lost at this point. She's probably heard so many stories and doesn't believe it at all. Ask her, "what would make you happy at this point?" Can she talk to your sponsor? I don't know if that's allowed. Can she attend meetings with you? She'll know your going because you will know people. If your getting mad she's probably thinking your lying. What addicts dont understand is that YOU put the scars there to begin with. YOU took the "faith" away. It's up to you to get it backed. Respect is earned, not given. Sobriety is a learned behavior the same as drinking. However, she needs to get help so that you two are meeting in the middle. Since your alcholism made the family sick it's up to them to get help for themselves to understand you better. Suggest that she attends some al anon meetings while your at AA. Good luck. Your actions and time will tell her.

best

A lesson I needed to learn and you need to learn right now...

Us guys change and when we say we have, another guy will believe almost instantly, because we each know how the other works.
I will know when you are feeding me BS or when you are serious.
Women are not guys... they need time.... LOTS of time.
We can't change that but we can come in line with it as we learn to accept it.
May take a month, it may take 3 years. I screwed up so bad, I was willing and planned on the 3 year method. Still not at 100% but the 90% mark was reached a lot sooner then I expected. Daily, I need strive to gain more and keep what I do have. Maybe a call before you leave for your meetings... letting her know where you will be and when you will be home...and stick to what you tell her.

A lot of thought and work on our part, but we are the one who put us where we are at.

It does work and things do improve.

Gooch

People may not believe what you say, but they will see what you do.



There is also the option of not calling her. Let her call you. When I fianlly got clean I eventually learned to stop telling people what I was going to do or explaining why I did something.

In as much as it pains me to say this.. lol my ex helped me figure this one out. She said "Don't tell me .. show me."

UrbanFool

'Tis true. It's part of the payment plan. I go through it and I do my best to not resent it because I know I brought it on myself.

Kelly

BigD

I can't expect anyone to believe anything I say. They believed my lies in the past and got burned badly. I try to put myself in their shoes in these situations. Showing any anger will probably be very counter-productive.

Love, Don