Strange experience
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: London, UK
Posts: 7
Strange experience
Hello All
I'm new to the group and thought I'd just jump in and share a story that happened recently.
I was touring on my motorcycle down through France. I needed to find a place to camp so I pulled into a site in a forest that was also a picnic area. When I set up I noticed that I was the only camper there and, although there were a lot of people around having Sunday picnics, I would be alone in the middle of these woods.
At the time I was reading a book called 'Lucky' by Alice Sebold, about her account of being raped and dealing with the aftermath. But more about that later.
As I predicted I was alone in this deserted campsite, in the middle of this forest, with all the associated wildlife noises. I was a bit edgy, but not too bad. Anyway at about a quarter to midnight I hear a car coming my way. It eventually pulls up about 15 yards from my tent. And my heart is racing and I'm on red alert. I hear the car door slam and I grab my knife and wait. I hear his footsteps and he is walking past the tent. I guess that he's going to the toilet/shower block. So I wait a while and then get out of the tent and get some distance out into the darknes, where I take a vantage point behind a tree.
It seemed an age before he came out and got back in his car and drove off. Rationally I was thinking that he was probably out hunting (there were a lot of hunters in the region) and was cleaning up before going home, but another part of me couldn't trust that to be the case.
I eventually calmed down, but couldn't sleep now, so I picked up the book. The next thing I read about in the book is where Alice is staying with a WWII vet caretaking some cabins out in the wilderness, when they see some car lights and then the lights go off. Both of them are now hyperalert. Bob the vet tells Alice to stay put while he grabs his rifle and goes out into the darkness to find a vantage point to check on the car! Turns out to equally innocent, but they go on to talk about the fact that they both have PTSD and that's how they react.
It was uncanny how I got to that part in the book just after my own false alarm. I took this as sign, finally that PTSD has been the what has caused me so much anquish over the years. And now I'm doing something about it.
I'm new to the group and thought I'd just jump in and share a story that happened recently.
I was touring on my motorcycle down through France. I needed to find a place to camp so I pulled into a site in a forest that was also a picnic area. When I set up I noticed that I was the only camper there and, although there were a lot of people around having Sunday picnics, I would be alone in the middle of these woods.
At the time I was reading a book called 'Lucky' by Alice Sebold, about her account of being raped and dealing with the aftermath. But more about that later.
As I predicted I was alone in this deserted campsite, in the middle of this forest, with all the associated wildlife noises. I was a bit edgy, but not too bad. Anyway at about a quarter to midnight I hear a car coming my way. It eventually pulls up about 15 yards from my tent. And my heart is racing and I'm on red alert. I hear the car door slam and I grab my knife and wait. I hear his footsteps and he is walking past the tent. I guess that he's going to the toilet/shower block. So I wait a while and then get out of the tent and get some distance out into the darknes, where I take a vantage point behind a tree.
It seemed an age before he came out and got back in his car and drove off. Rationally I was thinking that he was probably out hunting (there were a lot of hunters in the region) and was cleaning up before going home, but another part of me couldn't trust that to be the case.
I eventually calmed down, but couldn't sleep now, so I picked up the book. The next thing I read about in the book is where Alice is staying with a WWII vet caretaking some cabins out in the wilderness, when they see some car lights and then the lights go off. Both of them are now hyperalert. Bob the vet tells Alice to stay put while he grabs his rifle and goes out into the darkness to find a vantage point to check on the car! Turns out to equally innocent, but they go on to talk about the fact that they both have PTSD and that's how they react.
It was uncanny how I got to that part in the book just after my own false alarm. I took this as sign, finally that PTSD has been the what has caused me so much anquish over the years. And now I'm doing something about it.
Dopeless HopeFiend
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Franklin, IN.
Posts: 3
Hey, Snuff;
This is my 1st post, also. Yours was familiar to me, and this is how: recently a friend pointed out to me, that when I am stressing about a situation that has me in a similar position to one where the "Traumatic" stuff happened, it becomes difficult for me to make the distinction between THEN and now. IE: I'm in the process of getting divorced, and I had a severly sick relationship many years ago. When things in TODAY become stressful, as to how or when my spouse is going to react, I have a subconscious FLASHBACK thing, where I'm feeling the intense fear and anxiety from back THEN. The OTHER person did things that were terrifying, and THIS one has never been anywhere near like that. SO WHY is the fear from almost 20 years ago SO effortlessly coming back into my mind and kind of overlapping and merging with the REALITY that is today?
I have no reason to think that my spouse would do the things the other did. But I have waves of the same feelings.
I suppose God does things in His time, and perhaps it IS time for us to get to work on exorcising this demon from our lives.
This is my 1st post, also. Yours was familiar to me, and this is how: recently a friend pointed out to me, that when I am stressing about a situation that has me in a similar position to one where the "Traumatic" stuff happened, it becomes difficult for me to make the distinction between THEN and now. IE: I'm in the process of getting divorced, and I had a severly sick relationship many years ago. When things in TODAY become stressful, as to how or when my spouse is going to react, I have a subconscious FLASHBACK thing, where I'm feeling the intense fear and anxiety from back THEN. The OTHER person did things that were terrifying, and THIS one has never been anywhere near like that. SO WHY is the fear from almost 20 years ago SO effortlessly coming back into my mind and kind of overlapping and merging with the REALITY that is today?
I have no reason to think that my spouse would do the things the other did. But I have waves of the same feelings.
I suppose God does things in His time, and perhaps it IS time for us to get to work on exorcising this demon from our lives.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: London, UK
Posts: 7
Yeah Abbie
And this happened a month before I started my psychotherapy MSc, which means that I have to go into therapy myself. At least it focused me on the type of therapist I wanted to work with.
And this happened a month before I started my psychotherapy MSc, which means that I have to go into therapy myself. At least it focused me on the type of therapist I wanted to work with.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 780
Welcome Snufflehog and Abbie--
Yes it does come back like when it first happened, the same anxiety, apprehension and fear experienced...
Snuffle your description was something out of a Halloween Horror book. You got my hair standing on end.
Appreciate your input here and welcome to PTSD forum and Soberrecovery.
Wolfstarr
Yes it does come back like when it first happened, the same anxiety, apprehension and fear experienced...
Snuffle your description was something out of a Halloween Horror book. You got my hair standing on end.
Appreciate your input here and welcome to PTSD forum and Soberrecovery.
Wolfstarr
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