A question to the experts, from a naive wife
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A question to the experts, from a naive wife
Hi guys!! 
My husband is a drug addict and that I know for sure. I do not know however what kind of drug he takes. In the past I was told was crack (from someone who told me he gave crack to my AH), but he doesn't seem to display any indication of crack use, for the little I know about it. He's a mellow guy (never violent) and real sleepy most of the time, actually lazy. He could sleep 48 hours straight if you let him. He has a constant running nose and seems to suffer from diarrhea some times. When he’s “doing something” I notice a body language that bothers me to death. He walks with some tension in his body, like a stiffness in his muscles – I see his hands closed tight -- and he has a look in his face that’s different. He seems to talk through his teeth (doesn’t really open his mouth to talk) and has a nervous look in his face. What is it that you would think he’s using? Heroin? Morphine? What specific signs should I look for? He steals (from me, his family, his employers) and lies (to me, his family, his employers) all the time. I would love to find out what kind of drug he uses, not that it would change anything much, but just to kill my curiosity. Any ideas?
My husband is a drug addict and that I know for sure. I do not know however what kind of drug he takes. In the past I was told was crack (from someone who told me he gave crack to my AH), but he doesn't seem to display any indication of crack use, for the little I know about it. He's a mellow guy (never violent) and real sleepy most of the time, actually lazy. He could sleep 48 hours straight if you let him. He has a constant running nose and seems to suffer from diarrhea some times. When he’s “doing something” I notice a body language that bothers me to death. He walks with some tension in his body, like a stiffness in his muscles – I see his hands closed tight -- and he has a look in his face that’s different. He seems to talk through his teeth (doesn’t really open his mouth to talk) and has a nervous look in his face. What is it that you would think he’s using? Heroin? Morphine? What specific signs should I look for? He steals (from me, his family, his employers) and lies (to me, his family, his employers) all the time. I would love to find out what kind of drug he uses, not that it would change anything much, but just to kill my curiosity. Any ideas?
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Join Date: Mar 2005
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hi blownaway,
I'm not sure any of us can tell you exactly what drug he's using. I read some of your other posts and was so happy to see you were finding support on the NarAnon boards, that's what i was going to suggest for you.
Given some the characterisitics you have mentioned here and in other posts, it sounds like it could be crack, particularily b/c you spoke of 'smoking' and the mysterious trips out. Crack will bring anyone to the their knees (IMO) very quick. The stealing, spending tons of $$ - again, could be any drug. Not everyone reacts the same to crack, but if you say he does not use that often, probably the 48 hour sleep sessions, and not doing much is the aftermath of using. Maybe he used the day or night before, then the body just crashes.
The tight hands and weird lip things also sound like crack or cocaine, although I have gotten like that with opiates (oxycontin, heroin, morphine, etc)
Its good you recognized that knowing WHAT drug he is doing won't make a difference, but I don't blame you for being curious.
Glad you found SR, especially the NArAnon boards. I just wanted to jump on here and assure you that your post wasn't being ignored. it's just a tough thing for anyone (even us 'experts' - lol!) to determine for you.
Much Love:SS
I'm not sure any of us can tell you exactly what drug he's using. I read some of your other posts and was so happy to see you were finding support on the NarAnon boards, that's what i was going to suggest for you.
Given some the characterisitics you have mentioned here and in other posts, it sounds like it could be crack, particularily b/c you spoke of 'smoking' and the mysterious trips out. Crack will bring anyone to the their knees (IMO) very quick. The stealing, spending tons of $$ - again, could be any drug. Not everyone reacts the same to crack, but if you say he does not use that often, probably the 48 hour sleep sessions, and not doing much is the aftermath of using. Maybe he used the day or night before, then the body just crashes.
The tight hands and weird lip things also sound like crack or cocaine, although I have gotten like that with opiates (oxycontin, heroin, morphine, etc)
Its good you recognized that knowing WHAT drug he is doing won't make a difference, but I don't blame you for being curious.
Glad you found SR, especially the NArAnon boards. I just wanted to jump on here and assure you that your post wasn't being ignored. it's just a tough thing for anyone (even us 'experts' - lol!) to determine for you.
Much Love:SS
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Location: Florida
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Thanks SS, for replying to my question. I don't know why I strongly suspect he does some type of opiates. I'm just so blownaway, indeed, because he has been able to hide from me for so long (have been thinking, until 2 years ago) he had a mental problem, but now I know it's drugs. I still would like to know exactly what it is that makes him act the way he acts. I have doubts it's crack. And I know it doesn't matter what it is, but still I would love to know, if you know what I mean. I wonder, why would someone choose opiates over crack? Is it cheaper? Is the effect better? Does the fact that he seems obssessed with sex have any relation to the type of drug he takes (in this case, opiates)?
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Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Southeast, USA
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(((blownaway))),
Runny nose, diarrhea and high sex drive would be signs of withdrawl from opiates, but the rigidness and clenching don't jibe with opiate use. Guess it'll be a mystery until he gets ready and decides to spill it to you. Glad to hear you are involved with the ANON boards.
Love, Don
P.S. I'm not an expert on drug use, I failed miserably!
Runny nose, diarrhea and high sex drive would be signs of withdrawl from opiates, but the rigidness and clenching don't jibe with opiate use. Guess it'll be a mystery until he gets ready and decides to spill it to you. Glad to hear you are involved with the ANON boards.
Love, Don
P.S. I'm not an expert on drug use, I failed miserably!
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Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Denver,co
Posts: 4
Hey there,
I read your post and I was taken by the fact that my wife said I acted somewhat like you decribed your husband as acting. I was a cocaine guy for years and I was also using meth in the latter stages. It is a big misconception that we do 150 miles an hour all the time. From lack of sleep to poor eating habits we can mope around alot in a bug eyed daze, grinding our teeth. and when we crash, it can easily be for several days. I can say that the sex drive was much higher on meth then coke but it seems to vary from person to person. Im sorry to hear of your situation. Im no expert, this is just what I have seen and done. - Signed A Hopeful Addict
"Everything that occurs in the course of NA service must be motivated by the desire to more successfully carry the message to the addict who still suffers."
I read your post and I was taken by the fact that my wife said I acted somewhat like you decribed your husband as acting. I was a cocaine guy for years and I was also using meth in the latter stages. It is a big misconception that we do 150 miles an hour all the time. From lack of sleep to poor eating habits we can mope around alot in a bug eyed daze, grinding our teeth. and when we crash, it can easily be for several days. I can say that the sex drive was much higher on meth then coke but it seems to vary from person to person. Im sorry to hear of your situation. Im no expert, this is just what I have seen and done. - Signed A Hopeful Addict
"Everything that occurs in the course of NA service must be motivated by the desire to more successfully carry the message to the addict who still suffers."
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Originally Posted by BigD
(((blownaway))),
Runny nose, diarrhea and high sex drive would be signs of withdrawl from opiates, but the rigidness and clenching don't jibe with opiate use. Guess it'll be a mystery until he gets ready and decides to spill it to you. Glad to hear you are involved with the ANON boards.
Love, Don
P.S. I'm not an expert on drug use, I failed miserably!
Runny nose, diarrhea and high sex drive would be signs of withdrawl from opiates, but the rigidness and clenching don't jibe with opiate use. Guess it'll be a mystery until he gets ready and decides to spill it to you. Glad to hear you are involved with the ANON boards.
Love, Don
P.S. I'm not an expert on drug use, I failed miserably!
You're totally right. Until he's honest enough to spill all out, I will never really know. I just have to learn how to let it go. I have been totally obssessed with his addiction. I know you're not an expert.
Thank God! Hugs.
Christina
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Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Florida
Posts: 9
Originally Posted by Cazman
Hey there,
I read your post and I was taken by the fact that my wife said I acted somewhat like you decribed your husband as acting. I was a cocaine guy for years and I was also using meth in the latter stages. It is a big misconception that we do 150 miles an hour all the time. From lack of sleep to poor eating habits we can mope around alot in a bug eyed daze, grinding our teeth. and when we crash, it can easily be for several days. I can say that the sex drive was much higher on meth then coke but it seems to vary from person to person. Im sorry to hear of your situation. Im no expert, this is just what I have seen and done. - Signed A Hopeful Addict
"Everything that occurs in the course of NA service must be motivated by the desire to more successfully carry the message to the addict who still suffers."
I read your post and I was taken by the fact that my wife said I acted somewhat like you decribed your husband as acting. I was a cocaine guy for years and I was also using meth in the latter stages. It is a big misconception that we do 150 miles an hour all the time. From lack of sleep to poor eating habits we can mope around alot in a bug eyed daze, grinding our teeth. and when we crash, it can easily be for several days. I can say that the sex drive was much higher on meth then coke but it seems to vary from person to person. Im sorry to hear of your situation. Im no expert, this is just what I have seen and done. - Signed A Hopeful Addict
"Everything that occurs in the course of NA service must be motivated by the desire to more successfully carry the message to the addict who still suffers."
God bless.
Christina
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It just struck me in the head the other day when I remember having our second child, which happened 10 years ago. He was in the operating room with me while I was having C-section and I remember being so cold and itchy. I asked him, ‘why is it so cold in here?! And why am I so itchy?’ He answered promptly, “Because they gave you morphine.” How did he know that so readily?! Almost sounding like an “expert.” That remembrance just came to my mind the other day. I know that doesn’t mean anything necessarily, but it was just an event that came to my memory after all these years while I search for answers, trying to guess what in the world he’s doing. I think it’s some type of opiate. He also have sweats, and chills at the same time. Complains the house is so cold, while the thermostat shows 80 degrees. He says I’m hot because I’m overweight. And I say, ‘you are cold because you are getting old.’ Then we laughed. He’s so sick! It just mesmerizes me that he has been able to hide from me all these 15 years of marriage the true reason behind his recklessness. I used to think he was a mental case, with some sort of screw lose in his head. But at least now I know it’s drugs, although he still denies it.
NO QUACKING PLEASE!!
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: FINDING SANITY, MICHIGAN
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Oh Yeah... Being Cold All The Time, Sniffly Nose, Sweet Cravings, Extreme Irritability ( Usually When They Are Coming Down), NODDING OUT (EYES DROOPY, FALLING ASLEEP WHILE SITTING UP). MY AH REPEATED HIMSELF ALL THE TIME ALSO.
Constricted Pinpoint Pupils Are Usually The Dead Give Away Of Opiate Use. Dialated Pupils Are Coke And Meth.
Constricted Pinpoint Pupils Are Usually The Dead Give Away Of Opiate Use. Dialated Pupils Are Coke And Meth.
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"Sweet cravings!" Wow! He has that!! Always binging on cookies, chocolate bars, ice-cream. Had a whole stock of chocolate candy stuff. As for the pupils, I never really noticed anything (never really looked). I don’t have any doubt he’s on something, whatever that something is.
We couldn’t communicate. He always seem to misinterpret what I say, and then yells at me saying I don’t listen to what he’s saying. It was like really talking to a senseless person. He would twist everything I said and made me feel the other way around. Complained all the time that I didn’t listen to him, of which I used to respond it was because he didn’t make any good sense, so, yeah, I won’t listen to a nonsense talk. Always obsessed with making an easy and quick buck. I have been a complete nervous wreck, unable to concentrate on anything else but his behavior and what he’s coming up next with. Now that he has been gone for 4 weeks, I finally feel some piece, although my concerns have shifted to “what am I going to do next.” I have two kids that need me and I’m scared to be a single mom.
We couldn’t communicate. He always seem to misinterpret what I say, and then yells at me saying I don’t listen to what he’s saying. It was like really talking to a senseless person. He would twist everything I said and made me feel the other way around. Complained all the time that I didn’t listen to him, of which I used to respond it was because he didn’t make any good sense, so, yeah, I won’t listen to a nonsense talk. Always obsessed with making an easy and quick buck. I have been a complete nervous wreck, unable to concentrate on anything else but his behavior and what he’s coming up next with. Now that he has been gone for 4 weeks, I finally feel some piece, although my concerns have shifted to “what am I going to do next.” I have two kids that need me and I’m scared to be a single mom.
Livin' the NA WAY
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I would be half naked when I was high, always hot, then like a eskimo in withdrawals, then get hot flashes and back to no clothes. And my sex drive was through the roof in withdrawals, and not very existent on opiates.
Of course the nodding off and all the other stuff.
Also, class A narcotics, opiates, morphine, H, all made me crave sugar. I lived off of cereal, snacks, and ice cream while I was on it. And could barely eat when I was in withdrawals.
The main thing is that you try and get some help in an nar-anon group or such. You can't change what he is doing, but you can show him that you are getting help for you, for his addiction and how it is affecting you and the family.
This may help him see that there is help out there for him and his addiction if he starts seeing you get help, and seeing pamphlets around the house.
Just a suggestion,
Chad
Of course the nodding off and all the other stuff.
Also, class A narcotics, opiates, morphine, H, all made me crave sugar. I lived off of cereal, snacks, and ice cream while I was on it. And could barely eat when I was in withdrawals.
The main thing is that you try and get some help in an nar-anon group or such. You can't change what he is doing, but you can show him that you are getting help for you, for his addiction and how it is affecting you and the family.
This may help him see that there is help out there for him and his addiction if he starts seeing you get help, and seeing pamphlets around the house.
Just a suggestion,
Chad
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