Petra

I would like to know if there is anyone here that has lost his/her family because of their addiction and if so did it help them to hit their bottom and return to their families and if so how long did it take you. I would just like to hear your story.

My AH has been out of our lives since May. I never would of thought that he would be gone this long I miss him and his kids and grandkids miss him. The kids haven't heard from him since May and even longer and I have only talked to him 2 times in the last month. He is someone I don't even know anymore.

D72992

The only reason I got clean was that the disease had completely isolated me. Those that I had not pushed away I walked away from because they interfered with my using, including my wife and my son, no one was left in the end. Bad enough to be miserable, and they say that misery loves company, and I was alone. I had a choice, to go on to the bitter ends alone, or seek help in Narcotics Anonymous.

I never re-united with my wife, we divorced a couple years after I got clean, having been seperated that entire time. Thank God I did not have the reservation in my program that my recovery was contingent upon salvaging that relationship, otherwise I obviously would not be here.

A few years later my parents actually began to believe that something had finally took. My Dad would always ask me if I was staying clean and if I was still going to those meetings. I would get a little indignant at times, how dare he question me! Then I realized after 20 years of using and BS, a few months, even a few years, were not all that impressive. After about 4 years or so they seemed fairly convinced. This fact was evidenced by a comment my Mom made one day. "Something has changed in you" she said. "Why do you say that?" I replied. "Your clothes match, whenever I see you now" was the response she gave.

I would get my son for the summertime, he lived with his mother during the school year. Many of the guys I had in my support group in early recovery where parents, and most of us did not have custody, some did not even have visitation. My sponsor and I would talk about it once in awhile, he got permenent custody of his son about a year after I got clean, and he would always say from time to time that he just had this feeling that one day my ex-wife was going to give up custody to me. That prediction came true 5 years ago when my son was 12 and I had almost 9 years clean. He is 17 now, I have been doing the single parent thing for awhile and if anyone would like a smart mouthed teenager in their home for entertainment, let me know, we can work something out! ...heh heh

Life never works out exactly the way I want it. It is after all life on life's terms, not on Dave's terms. They did however tell me when I got here that Narcotics Anonymous was a second chance at a first class life. To this day I have no reason to believe otherwise...

Running

I've not lost my family because of addiction, but I was lost to my family because of mine. I broke my mothers heart to pieces. Still she watch's me struggle. For me I had to hit rock bottom literally. It took nearly losing everything to open my eyes. The first step in my recovery was admitting that I had this problem. That I was addicted to crack and needed help. That was also the hardest thing to do because no one expected it would ever happen to me, and I was so very ashamed of what I had done.

Once I hit rock bottom and started being honest about everything I realized that all those people were hurting because they saw me destroying myself. I realize how much they love me, more then I would have thought. I know there is still a long road ahead of me. I am working on building trust again and that is hard work. Especially since I still slip up from time to time.

All I can say to anyone who has a loved one suffering from addiction. Never give up on them. Never stop supporting them and always, always show them that you will be there if for nothing else but to love them.