Godhelpusboth

It will be a year soon with my bf who is working so diligently with his marijuana addiction-I only came to understand that he even had an addiction 4 or 5 months ago. I will be attending my first alanon meeting next week-with a friend just to get comfortable and accquainted with these things-then I might attend an nar-anon if I can find it. However, the things that I hear and read here at times scare, confuse and frustrate me. It is all about changing myself-not working with each other to strengthen together. Am I really supposed to just leave him alone like that? It gives me a very bitter picture of the future at times.... letting him deal with his addiction while I better myself?? There is no real advice (at least that I have found yet, please show me if I'm wrong) on how to deal with the bitterness-the want to know and control everything-and the crippling pain from having to rebuild trust time and time again-and never knowing if I will actually truthfully be able to trust him ever again. I read the post "what addicts do"-and all that ran through my head was is this how EVERY addict is? If this is so then the person I love must truly be lying all the time about his feelings for me-I don't want to give up on this relationship, but all I feel and forsee is pain and hardship...have people had healthy and happy relationships in these situations? This is too damn confusing. Help please

Time4Change

Glad you're here, Godhelpusboth! It sounds like you're really going through a confusing, painful time. I wish you the best. And I'm sure you'll find a lot of help and support here at Sober Recovery. Try the NARANON section. There are MANY people going through the same thing.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...splay.php?f=23

Good luck!

namommy

Welcome to SR. You will find alot of love and support here.