Temptation
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Millbrook, NY
Posts: 3
Temptation
I completely understand where you are jazpoppy, hope you're still out there, posting here. I'm 33 yrs old and I moved to NY from TX in 10/03. I am going back for a visit this coming Tuesday, and my nerves are completely on end. I left there for a reason, to be around people that are good for me, that would help me want to remain clean. Going back to TX is just complete trouble for me, and so easy for me to get involved with the people I know I need to stay away from. Scared again that I'll fall, use again and blow my clean time. The 14th will be 30 days, and the 16th I go back to TX. I don't want this to screw it all up again, but it's happened before. The last few days, the temptation has become more intense than the day before, and I find myself searching for a reason, and I'm searching hard. I guess I don't need a reason, I don't know, I'm confused by it all. I just want to use so bad, and I know I must be setting myself up to crumble and fall. I'm so good at that. So good at erasing myself from this life. The last 30 days has felt like only a week, stuck, and waiting on the days to pass. It seems like they never do. I'm also bipolar, diagnosed when I was 16, so this doesn't help much, just makes matters worse. It makes me feel like I will never be able to change, and makes my life double difficult. I keep holding on, keep telling myself to go to a meeting, but I fight with myself more than I agree with myself. I'm hanging on for something..
Peace
Peace
Member
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: somewhere
Posts: 3,384
As an addict, everything is a reason to use.
At this early stage, try to keep yourself from as much temptation as possible. You have to protect yourself at all costs.
Hang in there and just do it one day at a time.
Hugs,
Angel
At this early stage, try to keep yourself from as much temptation as possible. You have to protect yourself at all costs.
Hang in there and just do it one day at a time.
Hugs,
Angel
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: western canada
Posts: 1,441
Going back to TX is just complete trouble for me, and so easy for me to get involved with the people I know I need to stay away from.
Welcome to Sober Recovery.
I see by a previous post that it's heroin your dreaming of...??
That could be a life sentence if you go back out...
From a bystanders point of view...around going to Texas... I'd be wondering if it was a life and death situation that was dragging you back into a life and death situation...??
Otherwise.. yeah.. why go back and put yourself at risk to relapse?
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