Afraid of Sharing at NA Meetings
NA Rocks!
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Location Location
Posts: 517
Afraid of Sharing at NA Meetings
Hey Family!
I'm 38 days off hydro and feeling really good. I've been attending NA meetings on a regular basis (about five days a week) for the past two months, approximately. I attend evening meetings and then a Saturday women's meeting that I just love. I'm able to share now and again at the women's meeting, since it's small and just ladies, and I'm able to share at my Friday meeting which is small, also, (like 4 or 5 people), but I just can't get myself to open up and speak at the larger nightly meetings where there are usually approximately 40 to 50 people. I feel guilty for not sharing, especially since I get so much out of the other's stories. I just don't know what to say. Everyone seems so articulate and confident during their share. They can go on and on and it'll hit home with all of us. How do I learn to do that, too? Thanks for any advice!
P.S. ... I don't have a sponser yet, but am hoping to ask a wonderful lady tonight at my meeting. I'm sure she'll be able to help, also. But I really love it here at SR and know you all can advise.
T4C ~
I'm 38 days off hydro and feeling really good. I've been attending NA meetings on a regular basis (about five days a week) for the past two months, approximately. I attend evening meetings and then a Saturday women's meeting that I just love. I'm able to share now and again at the women's meeting, since it's small and just ladies, and I'm able to share at my Friday meeting which is small, also, (like 4 or 5 people), but I just can't get myself to open up and speak at the larger nightly meetings where there are usually approximately 40 to 50 people. I feel guilty for not sharing, especially since I get so much out of the other's stories. I just don't know what to say. Everyone seems so articulate and confident during their share. They can go on and on and it'll hit home with all of us. How do I learn to do that, too? Thanks for any advice!
P.S. ... I don't have a sponser yet, but am hoping to ask a wonderful lady tonight at my meeting. I'm sure she'll be able to help, also. But I really love it here at SR and know you all can advise.
T4C ~
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Baltimore, MD
Posts: 94
Hi Time,
I can totally relate! I have trouble sharing at meetings too, for me, even in a samll group. I think I feel the pressure to measure up to the quality of what others are saying. Also for me, my sponsor told me not to share for the first 6 months, to just listen. That was fine with me, but now that I am "allowed" to share, I'm speechless. A lot of times I pass and if I do talk, it's only for a couple minutes at the most. Just keep going to meetings and don't feel obligated to do anything. Once you get a sponsor, definitely talk to her about it, I'm sure she'll help. God Bless!
I can totally relate! I have trouble sharing at meetings too, for me, even in a samll group. I think I feel the pressure to measure up to the quality of what others are saying. Also for me, my sponsor told me not to share for the first 6 months, to just listen. That was fine with me, but now that I am "allowed" to share, I'm speechless. A lot of times I pass and if I do talk, it's only for a couple minutes at the most. Just keep going to meetings and don't feel obligated to do anything. Once you get a sponsor, definitely talk to her about it, I'm sure she'll help. God Bless!
Stepping Through Recovery!
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Bamaland
Posts: 15
I was told, to NOT share for the first 90 days. This way I can just listen during the meeting, instead of sitting there wondering what I was going to say.
I have found that when I share and really help someone, that is the time that I don't even remember what I said, because my Higher Power was doing the talking, not me.
Just relax and listen. You'll know when it's time to share.
I have found that when I share and really help someone, that is the time that I don't even remember what I said, because my Higher Power was doing the talking, not me.
Just relax and listen. You'll know when it's time to share.
It is what it is!!!
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Sobriety
Posts: 5,767
Oh 40 or 50 people 
I still can't share at a meeting like that LOL.
The first few years of my recovery when I would open my mouth I would talk so fast I dont' think anyone could understand me
Then I understood that I deserve to be there just as much as anyone else, I earned my seat. And even more important, I learned that people get things out of what I say (sometimes) just like I do, my head, my disease just wants to tell me that they don't. My diease wants to tell me I have nothing worthwhile to offer, but i do becaused I am just like everyone else in the room, trying to stay sober, just for today.
Don't compare yourself to others, remember in those rooms we are all the same.
I still can't share at a meeting like that LOL.The first few years of my recovery when I would open my mouth I would talk so fast I dont' think anyone could understand me
Then I understood that I deserve to be there just as much as anyone else, I earned my seat. And even more important, I learned that people get things out of what I say (sometimes) just like I do, my head, my disease just wants to tell me that they don't. My diease wants to tell me I have nothing worthwhile to offer, but i do becaused I am just like everyone else in the room, trying to stay sober, just for today.
Don't compare yourself to others, remember in those rooms we are all the same.
JUST DO IT!!
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Here Or There
Posts: 7,612
Hey hun remember that your sharing is too carry the message that maybe what you say can help someone else to identify and that is why you post here also. I am proud of you, you have done what it takes to stay clean today. I know that somedays I don't want to share but them are the times that I probably need to share the most. Ok I have to go very busy bye for now Vic
I'm an addict.
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Hyde Park, NY
Posts: 1,201
My self imposed rule for sharing is:
I share when my heart has something to say and try to just listen when my head thinks it has something profound and intelligent to say.
If what you share is honest and comes from your heart, you will help other people, but even more importantly you will help yourself.
I share when my heart has something to say and try to just listen when my head thinks it has something profound and intelligent to say.
If what you share is honest and comes from your heart, you will help other people, but even more importantly you will help yourself.
NA Rocks!
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Location Location
Posts: 517
I knew I could count on my SR family. Thank you all for sharing your experience and wisdom. I feel better knowing that I'm not alone, and that it's best to just drink in what's being spoken around me until I have a few more months under my belt (or until my heart speaks to me).
My women's Saturday group is less formal and from time to time we've allowed cross-talk meetings. Those are kinda nice for a change. Is there a reason it's not done more often?
Thanks again everyone!
T4C ~
My women's Saturday group is less formal and from time to time we've allowed cross-talk meetings. Those are kinda nice for a change. Is there a reason it's not done more often?
Thanks again everyone!
T4C ~
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Indianapolis, IN
Posts: 104
I don't get why a sponsor would tell someone not to share for their first six months or for 90 days. Sharing has saved my ass a few different times here in the beginning. It's getting that stuff out in the open that has made all the difference for me.
Share when you're ready. If that's today....great, if it's six months from now......also great. It's really up to you.
Share when you're ready. If that's today....great, if it's six months from now......also great. It's really up to you.
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