Schatzi

Hi I'm new to this Forum and thought I (((wink)))

I'm a german girl living in California and addicted to Meth...

Comeing down very hard right now so pls excuse if my english is messed up,I can't focus on my writeing right now.Why did I do it again?Everyday I tell myself you have to stop it but I can't...awake since Friday,I need to sleep!

The last few hours I was surfing thru the web looking at different sites about drugs/meth and one thing that always makes me very sad is when I read how familymembers/friends/partner get hurt by an addict.What the go thru cause they love that person so much...suffering for years,and they get nothing...they are being used.
I just wanna speak for myself here ... I do not love anybody else besides my drug.I am numb,and I would do anything to get money to buy drugs.

I know it is hard to let go when you love somebody but there is nothing you can do...until I really want to quit drugs myself I will keep useing them,and anybody else who is addicted will too.

Why am I writing this anyways?

They reason for my post here is that I would like to hear from other meth users and ex-users how deep they had to fall till they finally said enough!
Where do I get the strengt from?Fighting with the comedown is so hard,thinking about doing meth again cause I don't wanna feel like that.

But don't wanna be a tweaker anymore eather...but my mind is not a 100% there yet.

Please tell me your story...I look up to anybody who had the power to kick the drug,I wanna be like you...please help me.

Paulie

I stopped using meth almost 10 years ago. It had nothing to do with power of my own. I surrendered, I was a broken person, my spirit was dieing, like you I would do anything to get it. I had degraded myself, I had no self respect. My choice was either continue to use and slowly continue to kill myself and my sprit or stop. I realized I wanted to die but was to scared to kill myself.

I checked myself into rehab where I learned to trust in a higher power. Where I learned that recovery is done with my HP and with others on the same path as myself.

Please get yourself to a meeting of Narcotics Annonymous today...you will meet people just like yourself who are trying to stay sober just one day at a time. Who are broken and trying to rebuild their spirits.

I am not saying it is easy, cause it isn't, but it can be done. Almost 10 years later I still need the fellowship of NA, I still work the program and today I still work daily on a relationship with an HP.

We dont' have to use, we don't have to die from using...recovery is possible, but like you said yourself, a person has to be willing. Are you willing? I hope with all my heart that you are. Reading your post brought tears to my eyes. Trust me when I say I know EXACTLY how you are feeling right now.

You have made a first step by reaching out, continue to reach out...get to an NA meeting today. And keep posting here, this is a great place for friendship and support.

Schatzi

Thank you very much,your words mean alot to me.I am not feeling to good right now I just wanted to let you know that I am really thankful that you care.

In memory of miracle

Just wanted to welcome you and let you know there is hope and a solution. I never used Meth, but I was rteally messed up on crack a year and a half ago. Never thought I would stop using,but I have. If I can you can. My prayers are with you today.Bless, Trish

Paulie

YES I care. I know EXACTLY what you are feeling and it is a very scary place to be. There is hope...you are alive, there is hope. Don't give up.

may

Talk to God. He already knows everything you've done. He knows every thought in your head and He still Loves you. I don't mean to come off like I'm "preaching" at you. I just know how He can help. I have been on my knees with my whole life crashing down around me and completley alone, crying and throughing up. I begged God to help me, talked to him sincerly & with all my heart and He helped me right then and there. I could feel Him lift me off the floor and put me in the bed. I was asleep within 2 minutes. I needed to sleep sooooo bad and it would have been impossible on my own. It was easier to keep going in the morning.
Because He Loves you, you are worth way more than how you are right now.
Good Luck - May

Jeff K

We all have different tolerances for pain.

I had to lose two houses, 3 cars, my Harley, and my wife before I checked into rehab.

You don't have to do that.

Go to a NA meeting. Trust me on this, we understand. This is the only place you'll ever go that really does understand.

Recovery is there if you want it. You don't ever have to use drugs again, just for today.

NA will teach you how.

Please hang in there and get to a meeting.

Jeff