weelcharboy

Man sometimes it feels as though my HP must feel that i'm unbreakable. So much is going on, that before i would be as messed up as i could possibly be right now. Thursday I had my doctor tell me that at least one of my heart valves is infected. To top it all off he says only 1 out of every 4 cases of this can be treated with antibiotics. The rest must have valve replacements. I AM ONLY 23!!!! Then I find out my dad has been diagnoised with cancer (in the upper mouth). I have been in the hospital since March 10. My ex has since kicked me out. Now i don't know where i'm gonna live once i can get out of the hospital.

Maybe i'm wrong, but all this has really made me question my faith and soberness. I just want GOD to say o.k. you have had enough now. PLEASE!!!! It just feels overwhelming.

Thanks for letting me ramble on, and thanks for reading this. Any advice would be helpfull. You can read more about me in N.A. 'still trying to get the hang of soberness again'.

splendra

((((wcb)))

Our illness is about us and how we live not about what God is doing to us. God is the great healer. I want ask God to heal you. Did your teeth get real bad?

Gooch

wcb ... hmmmm .. Know what ya mean about feeling like the deck got stacked.

Had a friend who used to call his sponsor and bitch about the overwhelmingness.

Sponsor would say "it's your turn in the barrel" My buddy would say "so hows that supposed to make me feel better?" His sponsor would answer "it's not supposed to make ya feel better . but eventually when you get out of the barrel your going to run into another guy whose goin through a rough ride and you can tell him he can survive the ride because you did. Then you'll feel better about it."

When we go through this stuff it seems insurmnountable .. after the storm passes we find we have grown and our faith is even stronger.

funny thing I hit random play on my media player this mornin .. and the tue that popped up while I was readin this was Limp Bazcuit's "Rollin" ...

I can't give you any better advice or words than "keep rollin" and remember it all so you can share it with the next guy.

weelcharboy

Thank you all. It helps to know that i'm not alone. Thank you so very much, for your words of encouragement. They are helping me in this very trying time in my road to recovery. Today, Sun. June, 19, makes my 73rd day clean and sober. And i would not trade these days for any drug in the world.

weelcharboy

I think my HP heard me. Things are starting to look up fpr me. So i just wanted to let everyone know, things do start to look up, just give it time. And as they say 1 day at a time and 'just for today'.

Cathy31

wow, 73 days is so awesome!! Your HP was always hearing you, we just need to be patient sometimes, it can be REALLY HARD! I am so glad things are looking up, you have a lot on your plate, but iwth your HP and your sobriety - nothing hsa to stop you!!!!! Good luck!
Cathy31
x

In memory of miracle

((( James ))) Prayers goin out to you. Glad things are looking up. Bless, Trish