BetterNowsBaby

Well, I got my 30 day chip 2 days ago, and on the same night saw my first relapse. I felt so strong when I left the meeting, proud, chip in hand. And then I went to work, (For the time being I'm having to run a Karaoke show which means I work in bars until my other job kicks in...I know...I know) and I saw one of the guys that I really looked up to in group. He had been clean a little over 2 years and always had a big smile for me every time I walked in the door. I showed him my chip and he just looked down and I knew something was wrong. I asked him and he said he was messed up. He was sweating from head to toe. I could smell the either on him. More than any of that it was his eyes. He had that wild, couldn't focus on anything inpaticular, but glazed over look. At first it just broke my heart. I told him that I loved him and that I wanted him to come back. I tried to talk to him, but you could tell that he was a little ashamed. I gave him a hug and told him don't give up. So I ended up leaving work and going to my candlelight meeting. On the way there I was just torn up..but I kept seeing his eyes, and the look of desperation on his face...and it scared the crap out of me. I know that look! All too familiar!!! I think God wanted me to see that...just to keep my ego in check. I am SOOOOOOO glad to be clean today!!!!

eddie z.

Congratulations on 30 days, BNB!! And thanks for sharing that, too!

Love and hugs,
Eddie

Paulie

Me too, thank you for sharing that with us.