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what is emotional abuse?

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Old 06-01-2005, 01:23 AM
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Unhappy what is emotional abuse?

I don't even know if this is the right place to put this but I don't know where else to post.

What constitutes emotional abuse? Is it as bad as other abuses? What happens to the one being emotionally abused? What behavior do they manifest?

I really, really need to know.

I'm back, after a rather long hiatus.
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Old 06-01-2005, 08:16 PM
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Originally Posted by innamorata
What constitutes emotional abuse? Is it as bad as other abuses? What happens to the one being emotionally abused? What behavior do they manifest?
((((innamorata)))),
Welcome back! I love your avatar. I really don't know how to answer your questions except to wonder what is the behavior you're experiencing or witnessing? Maybe we could help more if we knew something more, you know? I hope you get answers soon, though!

Love and hugs,
Eddie
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Old 06-01-2005, 08:46 PM
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I have a post in the basement. I'll go dig it up.
 
Old 06-01-2005, 08:49 PM
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http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ead.php?t=4103
 
Old 06-01-2005, 08:51 PM
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Originally Posted by eddie z.
((((innamorata)))),
Welcome back! I love your avatar. I really don't know how to answer your questions except to wonder what is the behavior you're experiencing or witnessing? Maybe we could help more if we knew something more, you know? I hope you get answers soon, though!

Love and hugs,
Eddie
My avatar is one of my cats...the part where he is sticking his tongue out is the original photo. I did a little Photoshop work to it and added a background.

Emotional abuse...things like:
Expecting someone to be home at a certain time even though there is no pressing need to be, and having a fit when they are not.

Pouting or the "silent treatment" if things don't go their way...whether it is housecleaning, shopping, conversation, sex, etc.

Pouting if sex is not given, and in an extremely good mood after...until the next sexual urge strikes.

Getting mad at someone if they are gone from the house too long, even if they are doing something legitimate (such as a job or helping a friend or visiting family) and if the other person is not even home.

Telling someone they aren't as smart as they think they are, when the person does something they think is a good job.

Never knowing when the next "storm" is going to strike, or what it will be over.

Extreme reactions to something small, like spilling a pop or a stain on a shirt.
I could come up with more, but that's all I really want to type out right now.

It's really really really hard to type this, but it's from personal experience.

I'm not a bad person...am I?
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Old 06-01-2005, 09:01 PM
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Originally Posted by Morning Glory
Thank you. I didn't see your post because I was posting.

I guess I have to think.

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Old 06-01-2005, 09:06 PM
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No you're not a bad person.

You are allowed to talk about it and it's not breaking any loyalty to work on a solution.
 
Old 06-01-2005, 09:12 PM
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Originally Posted by Morning Glory
No you're not a bad person.

You are allowed to talk about it and it's not breaking any loyalty to work on a solution.
I don't feel any loyalty...I just feel trapped. It's a long story...but I am trapped and I can't go anywhere.

I don't know if it is "safe" to post this kind of thing here. I don't want to be traced....
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Old 06-01-2005, 09:14 PM
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Originally Posted by innamorata
I'm not a bad person...am I?
NO! You know I've been doing a little research into BPD (borderline personality disorder) lately and my impression of it is just what you described. The extreme emotional volatility. The wild fluctuations. The unpredictability. It's common in people who have been emotionally or otherwise abused so far as I know.

I was emotionally abused as a child and I was once diagnosed as borderline. I'm not sure whether it was an inaccurate diagnosis or whether I have just improved markedly, but I'm no longer treated as borderline. So it is treatable! The symptoms that got me labeled that way are gone.

I suggest a thorough psychological evaluation and treatment. I wish you the very best! You can even PM me if you want.

Love and hugs,
Eddie
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Old 06-01-2005, 09:19 PM
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Originally Posted by eddie z.
NO! You know I've been doing a little research into BPD (borderline personality disorder) lately and my impression of it is just what you described. The extreme emotional volatility. The wild fluctuations. The unpredictability. It's common in people who have been emotionally or otherwise abused so far as I know.

I was emotionally abused as a child and I was once diagnosed as borderline. I'm not sure whether it was an inaccurate diagnosis or whether I have just improved markedly, but I'm no longer treated as borderline. So it is treatable! The symptoms that got me labeled that way are gone.

I suggest a thorough psychological evaluation and treatment. I wish you the very best! You can even PM me if you want.

Love and hugs,
Eddie
Hi, Eddie, and thank you.

I'm sorry, I think I didn't word my posts right. My bad. The things I described are what I have to deal with from another person, directed at me. I wondered if what they were doing was emotional abuse. I know, light-bulb moment took me forever to go on, but I finally thought one day, that maybe that is what was happening to me.

But, considering this other person was abused as a child/teenager, they probably have this BPD that you are talking about.

I'm sorry. It's just so hard and I'm so sad...
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Old 06-01-2005, 09:28 PM
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We aren't going to trace you.

How trapped are you?
 
Old 06-01-2005, 09:36 PM
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Thanks for clearing that up! I admit I was confused and tried to be nebulous about whom I was addressing in my last post. I totally sympathize with you! I'm really thinking lately that someone close to me has BPD and I get this sort of behavior from him also. It IS sad.

I am struggling with how to ask him to get help. He is not as bad as he was and I think his meds help ALOT, but he does get out of hand sometimes. Mostly nowadays I just remember that he's volatile and he usually calms down given some time to reflect. I don't let it affect my self-esteem anymore.

Can you see what this abuse is doing to your self-esteem? I would suggest you maybe call a crisis counseling hotline or something. YOu need some support from real live people, you know? Take care of yourself, OK? And like I said, you can PM me too.

Love and hugs,
Eddie
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Old 06-01-2005, 09:39 PM
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Originally Posted by Morning Glory
We aren't going to trace you.

How trapped are you?
I need to think about this...it feels odd to me, talking about this...I'm afraid to go there with my feelings....does that make sense?

sorry...
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Old 06-01-2005, 09:43 PM
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Yes it makes sense.

You don't have to talk about it unless you feel comfortable.

We're here to help and I know I've been through abuse so I understand how hard it is.
 
Old 06-01-2005, 09:50 PM
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Originally Posted by Morning Glory
Yes it makes sense.

You don't have to talk about it unless you feel comfortable.

We're here to help and I know I've been through abuse so I understand how hard it is.
Thank you...

I'm trying...I just feel so overwhelmed...
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Old 06-01-2005, 09:53 PM
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I think our posts criss-crossed in cyberspace. Did you see my last one, i?

-ez
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Old 06-01-2005, 09:58 PM
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Originally Posted by eddie z.
I think our posts criss-crossed in cyberspace. Did you see my last one, i?

-ez
Yes, thank you. I just got a little busy there for a moment...

I wish I could talk to someone, but I don't have any support. And, without support, I just can't go to anywhere and get help. Everybody thinks everything is just fine, you know? Everybody is so fooled...

Nobody believes me.

I know I'm kind of talking in circles, but I am really having a hard time talking at all...
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Old 06-01-2005, 10:02 PM
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Please call a hotline. There should be a service that can help you. You're in my thoughts and prayers, innamorata!

Love and hugs,
Eddie
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Old 06-01-2005, 10:07 PM
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Originally Posted by eddie z.
Please call a hotline. There should be a service that can help you. You're in my thoughts and prayers, innamorata!

Love and hugs,
Eddie
I can't call a hotline. I have no support. Nobody believes me.

Sorry...I'll shut up.
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Old 06-01-2005, 10:08 PM
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The crisis hotlines will direct you to a place you can go to for support in your area. I've used them and they steered me in the right direction. I went in a couple of years ago to talk about abuse that happened to me 30 years ago. It feels so good to have someone validate your feelings even if you don't make any changes right away.
 

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