the state says he will relapse again...what do you think?
To Life!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Rhode Island
Posts: 9,293
the state says he will relapse again...what do you think?
Well, Son called from prison tonight.
He will be going to the drug court - finally. This is the first time in 11 years! I remember asking a judge years ago, why he wasn't in the drug court when it's obvious that is his problem. Her reply was, "I don't know."
Now, the DA told Trevor that they want him on methadone. Trevor said no, because he is clean now. His body is detoxed. If he goes on methadone now, he will be putting those toxins back into his system again. I understand that. He does still have that as a back up, though, if he slips. The state will pay for it this time. The DA said he has the record of a 40 year old. He is 25! They said they believe he is going to relapse again.
He will be going to a rehab, (providing the superior court doesn't overrule the drug court - which is kind of unlikely, since the DA is willing to go drug court route with him.) Rehab is a minimum of 6 months, though I believe they could make it longer. Afterwards, both his father and I have told him he cannot come to our homes; that he should go to a half way house. He said he agrees.
I have to admit something, and I'm a bit ashamed to admit it. It's really nice not to have to worry about my house getting broken into, now that he's in jail. It's nice to be able to leave my puter home, and not worry if it's disappeared; it's nice to sleep with the windows open, and not worry if he's climbing into them while I'm gone or asleep. I'm sorry for feeling that way, but, I do.
Now, I know, and I understand why, some of you are against methadone. But, I need to ask...do you think he's making a good decision?
When he was on methadone, it was the only time since he's been 14 that he was straight. He was working. He had an apartment. He had a nice girlfriend - well, one that didn't use, anyway! lol!
He didn't work a program. He relied only on the methadone. And he relapsed. He SAYS he knows he has to work a program now. He may be quacking or not. I just don't know, and I'm not gonna guess at it.
This is an honest question. Please let me know what you think...
I know it's up to him, in the end. I've learned THAT much anyway!
Thanks!
Shalom!
He will be going to the drug court - finally. This is the first time in 11 years! I remember asking a judge years ago, why he wasn't in the drug court when it's obvious that is his problem. Her reply was, "I don't know."
Now, the DA told Trevor that they want him on methadone. Trevor said no, because he is clean now. His body is detoxed. If he goes on methadone now, he will be putting those toxins back into his system again. I understand that. He does still have that as a back up, though, if he slips. The state will pay for it this time. The DA said he has the record of a 40 year old. He is 25! They said they believe he is going to relapse again.
He will be going to a rehab, (providing the superior court doesn't overrule the drug court - which is kind of unlikely, since the DA is willing to go drug court route with him.) Rehab is a minimum of 6 months, though I believe they could make it longer. Afterwards, both his father and I have told him he cannot come to our homes; that he should go to a half way house. He said he agrees.
I have to admit something, and I'm a bit ashamed to admit it. It's really nice not to have to worry about my house getting broken into, now that he's in jail. It's nice to be able to leave my puter home, and not worry if it's disappeared; it's nice to sleep with the windows open, and not worry if he's climbing into them while I'm gone or asleep. I'm sorry for feeling that way, but, I do.
Now, I know, and I understand why, some of you are against methadone. But, I need to ask...do you think he's making a good decision?
When he was on methadone, it was the only time since he's been 14 that he was straight. He was working. He had an apartment. He had a nice girlfriend - well, one that didn't use, anyway! lol!
He didn't work a program. He relied only on the methadone. And he relapsed. He SAYS he knows he has to work a program now. He may be quacking or not. I just don't know, and I'm not gonna guess at it.
This is an honest question. Please let me know what you think...
I know it's up to him, in the end. I've learned THAT much anyway!
Thanks!
Shalom!
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Never, Never land
Posts: 2,851
Teach,
You already know my opinion of methadone. I am trying not to get into that fight again. with anyone.
His body is detoxed, and it seems ridiculous for him to put an addictive substance back into it. A 6 month rehab, followed by a GOOD half way house, along with meetings, sponsorship, and a good program of working the steps will work ONLY if he wants it to work. If he doesn't want it, then it doesn't matter what he does, methadone, rehab or anything, it just won't work until he wants it to.
Don't feel bad for feeling a little relaxed while he is in jail. You were on edge because of his behavior in the past, you deserve a little breather. Whenever I would go to jail my mom would say "Good, now I can get a good nights sleep without worrying about getting THAT phone call."
He has to make a choice to recover. Then, it will work.
Prayers are with you and him.
BTW, give him this from me...
You already know my opinion of methadone. I am trying not to get into that fight again. with anyone.
His body is detoxed, and it seems ridiculous for him to put an addictive substance back into it. A 6 month rehab, followed by a GOOD half way house, along with meetings, sponsorship, and a good program of working the steps will work ONLY if he wants it to work. If he doesn't want it, then it doesn't matter what he does, methadone, rehab or anything, it just won't work until he wants it to.
Don't feel bad for feeling a little relaxed while he is in jail. You were on edge because of his behavior in the past, you deserve a little breather. Whenever I would go to jail my mom would say "Good, now I can get a good nights sleep without worrying about getting THAT phone call."
He has to make a choice to recover. Then, it will work.
Prayers are with you and him.
BTW, give him this from me...
To Life!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Rhode Island
Posts: 9,293
Will do, Laurie!!!
And thanks...
I know you're right about the choices he makes. And I can so relate to your mom's thoughts too! I've been there. In fact, I'm there right now!
I do agree about starting again with methadone while he is detoxed. The state says they want him on it cuz they feel like he'll relapse again.
Think *maybe* if they'd done the drug court 11 years ago, when this started it might have made a difference???
I know, I know....It's up to him....
SO, I wonder if I resent the court system here, or if I'm totally afraid he'll relapse again too? Or maybe I'm just nuts! LOL!
I hope he's making a good decision. He asked me if I thought so, or if I thought he was bs me/everyone else or even himself. I told him I really didn't know....
What else could I say? I don't know.
I am hoping that he understands...
thanks, (((Laurie))))
And today, you won't get a fight from me! Like I've said, I HOPE I've come farther than that!
Shalom!
And thanks...
I know you're right about the choices he makes. And I can so relate to your mom's thoughts too! I've been there. In fact, I'm there right now!
I do agree about starting again with methadone while he is detoxed. The state says they want him on it cuz they feel like he'll relapse again.
Think *maybe* if they'd done the drug court 11 years ago, when this started it might have made a difference???
I know, I know....It's up to him....
SO, I wonder if I resent the court system here, or if I'm totally afraid he'll relapse again too? Or maybe I'm just nuts! LOL!
I hope he's making a good decision. He asked me if I thought so, or if I thought he was bs me/everyone else or even himself. I told him I really didn't know....
What else could I say? I don't know.
I am hoping that he understands...
thanks, (((Laurie))))
And today, you won't get a fight from me! Like I've said, I HOPE I've come farther than that!
Shalom!
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Our house.
Posts: 816
Well, i came into recovery via a long methadone taper so i am not against methadone in principle. But cant see the sense of going on methadone when you are already clean. Think it is madness that they suggested it to your son and it shows a complete lack of faith from some of those people that work in the system that addicts can recover. Attendance at a few open meetings might show these people how wrong they are. Says a lot for your son's willingness that he refused the option to be placed on a methadone prescription i would say.
Good news about the rehab Teach. This really is a big opportunity for your son. Sounds like he is really ready for this too. I also agree with Laurie that you have absolutely nothing to feel bad about. As a parent i can understand how you would feel that way though.
Hugs
Evanna.
Good news about the rehab Teach. This really is a big opportunity for your son. Sounds like he is really ready for this too. I also agree with Laurie that you have absolutely nothing to feel bad about. As a parent i can understand how you would feel that way though.
Hugs
Evanna.
I'm an addict.
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Hyde Park, NY
Posts: 1,201
I see methadone as a last resort only....deffinately not right in his case. It sounds like the state is trying to just say "**** him, lets just give him drugs and maybe he wont break the law anymore..." they don't care about him.
Anyway, NA's message is simple it says, "that an addict, ANY ADDICT, can stop useing, lose the desire to use and find a new way to live. Our message is one of hope and our promise is that of freedom."
There is allways hope, don't give it up just b/c the state has.
Peace,
-Blake
Anyway, NA's message is simple it says, "that an addict, ANY ADDICT, can stop useing, lose the desire to use and find a new way to live. Our message is one of hope and our promise is that of freedom."
There is allways hope, don't give it up just b/c the state has.
Peace,
-Blake
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Never, Never land
Posts: 2,851
Teach,
The fact that he is asking if you think he made a good decision is growth. If he is not sure if he is b/s'ing himself or others is a good sign.
This last time around, my mom asked me "How do I know that this time will be any different than the others." Why should she get her hopes up. For the first time, I gave her an honest answer. "I don't know" I didn't even know myself if I was actually finished. Time will tell.
Just pray. I will too.
The fact that he is asking if you think he made a good decision is growth. If he is not sure if he is b/s'ing himself or others is a good sign.
This last time around, my mom asked me "How do I know that this time will be any different than the others." Why should she get her hopes up. For the first time, I gave her an honest answer. "I don't know" I didn't even know myself if I was actually finished. Time will tell.
Just pray. I will too.
To Life!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Rhode Island
Posts: 9,293
"Time will tell.
Just pray. I will too."
Yes, Laurie; Time will tell. I thank you for your prayers...
I do think the state has given up on him - even though they've NEVER dealt with his problem in 11 years!!! So, Blake, this is FAR from a first option, but, I DO hear what you're saying.
I just want my son to live...to have a real life....and to stay alive...
So, I guess I am scared.
I'm hoping his questions are really a sign of growth too...
Shalom!
Just pray. I will too."
Yes, Laurie; Time will tell. I thank you for your prayers...
I do think the state has given up on him - even though they've NEVER dealt with his problem in 11 years!!! So, Blake, this is FAR from a first option, but, I DO hear what you're saying.
I just want my son to live...to have a real life....and to stay alive...
So, I guess I am scared.
I'm hoping his questions are really a sign of growth too...
Shalom!
In Memory Of
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Connecticut.
Posts: 3,736
(( Teach ))
I think that his choice,not to do the methadone is a positive sign. A 6 month re-hab sounds really good. I am happy that you have some peace of mind now,no shame in that.As a mother of 2 boy's myself,one who drink's and one who seems to be getting a really good start at it,I can only imagine how hard this must be for you.Prayers to you and to Trevor.
Bless, Trish
Bless, Trish
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