Is this wrong?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Corona, CA
Posts: 2
Is this wrong?
We've been dealing with my son's addiction for MANY YEARS, my husband
and I have tried EVERYTHING, counseling, drug rehab, crying, being angry, yelling, beggin, threatening but he just does not care, nothing but lies comes out of him. The pain my husband and I feel is killing us.
He is not the drug addict that you would see lying on a street, (hopefully will never get to that point!) he uses mainly marijuana, but he does not have any desire to be somebody in life. 25 years old, VERY intelligent kid (but no common sense), still working as waiter, with a DUI charge, when we have given him every chance for a better education..... Is it wrong for us to say to him: "Enough! unless you REALLY want to change your lifestyle, get an
education, get rid of every single Junkie friend that you have, stop
using drugs, DO NOT CONTACT US in any way... would that be wrong?
Please I need your opinion. Has that worked for anyone. Once they
feel "this is it" no more help. They are on their own.
Maryzcat
and I have tried EVERYTHING, counseling, drug rehab, crying, being angry, yelling, beggin, threatening but he just does not care, nothing but lies comes out of him. The pain my husband and I feel is killing us.
He is not the drug addict that you would see lying on a street, (hopefully will never get to that point!) he uses mainly marijuana, but he does not have any desire to be somebody in life. 25 years old, VERY intelligent kid (but no common sense), still working as waiter, with a DUI charge, when we have given him every chance for a better education..... Is it wrong for us to say to him: "Enough! unless you REALLY want to change your lifestyle, get an
education, get rid of every single Junkie friend that you have, stop
using drugs, DO NOT CONTACT US in any way... would that be wrong?
Please I need your opinion. Has that worked for anyone. Once they
feel "this is it" no more help. They are on their own.
Maryzcat
Member
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Venice, Florida
Posts: 414
Mary,
Wow, What a burden you are carrying. To love someone so deeply and have to come to this conclusion. It is not wrong, in my opinion.
Tough love, and that is what it is called, is something that has been around for quite sometime. It is effective and can be one of the hardest things a parent has to do for their child. Right now, it sounds as if there may be some enabling on your part and I don't say that to accuse, but just as a fact.
Many of us addicts have had to hit rock bottom before we did anything about getting clean. There are web sites and books that will tell you all about it.
I remember in my teen years, ( I wasn't using then) there was a young man at my church who was in a similar situation as your son. His parents did everything they could to help him. He didn't think he needed it. They joined a Tough love group and found the courage to kick him out. No money, no support, just his clothesand a few personal posessions. It took a while, but he eventually got clean, went back to school adn became a nurse. He is married and has a family now.
There is hope, but you and your husband have to be on the same page or it won't work.
God Bless,
:rose
Wow, What a burden you are carrying. To love someone so deeply and have to come to this conclusion. It is not wrong, in my opinion.
Tough love, and that is what it is called, is something that has been around for quite sometime. It is effective and can be one of the hardest things a parent has to do for their child. Right now, it sounds as if there may be some enabling on your part and I don't say that to accuse, but just as a fact.
Many of us addicts have had to hit rock bottom before we did anything about getting clean. There are web sites and books that will tell you all about it.
I remember in my teen years, ( I wasn't using then) there was a young man at my church who was in a similar situation as your son. His parents did everything they could to help him. He didn't think he needed it. They joined a Tough love group and found the courage to kick him out. No money, no support, just his clothesand a few personal posessions. It took a while, but he eventually got clean, went back to school adn became a nurse. He is married and has a family now.
There is hope, but you and your husband have to be on the same page or it won't work.
God Bless,
:rose
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