Nickaddict

Hello everyone,

My last post here was that I made 60 days.
Well, in total I made 64 days but then I relapsed.....
To make a long story short: I got back up, dusted myself off, and walked back to the NA program after a leave of 2 days.
I'm not terribly proud of my relapse because it's my 4th in about the 4 months that I'm in the program.
Then again, I returned just as many times.

I just wanted to share this here. I did share about it in meetings and picked up my white keychain again but I also want to tell it to this great online community.
Whenever there isn't a meeting or I can't reach someone from the program, this forum is always there. And I'm grateful for that

Nick.

Roxann

I'm grateful that you came back Nick. 10 days is awesome. You have so many tools at your fingertips, now you just need to use them. How are the meetings going for you?

This site is wonderful isn't it? I don't know if I would have made it this far without it.

Nickaddict

Thanks for the support Roxann
Meetings are always good for me eventhough I just had 2 "weird" ones.
But I'll make a seperate posting about that.
In the mean time I just keep working the program to the best of my abillities.
I go to a meeting everyday and do some service work (putting up tables and chairs and making coffee).

I try to keep it simple. That seems to work best for me.

namommy

Welcome home nick.

Instead of telling you to just 'keep comin' back', I am going to say "Just STAY, it's easier".

laurie

Paulie

Ditto to that.

Glad to see you.

wantneeda

Welcome back, Nickaddict.
As long as you have hope and keep coming back, one day you'll accept and surrender, hey...why not today?
: )
\\//peace, Wendy

Nickaddict

Hehe, yeah...just stay...I like that
Thanks again for your wonderful support, I really need that!

Blake

Welcome back Nick.

One of the greatest tools I have to gaurd me against a relapse is the first step.

It says in the basic text that if we believe that we can somehow control our drug use, we almost are forced to go back out and prove ourselves wrong. But the moment we surrender that control, we never have to use again. I really believe this to be true and today I know that there is no hope of me ever regaining control of my drug use, for me it has been a great relief to give up that fight.


A couple of things that people in my area repeat over and over is:

"don't pick up, NO MATTER WHAT!"
and
"Tough ****, Don't use"

When I'm feeling like I want to go get loaded, I run these things through my head...it helps me.

Good luck dude,
-Blake

Gooch

Glad your back Nick.

I know for me, getting clean time was a big deal.. in fact I made so much of a deal about it that everytime I got a few months, I'd lose sight of the just foir today. When I really surrendered all of a sudden the weeks and months didn't matter so much, because I had finally figured out that if i just didn't pick up .. just for right now, those minutes would eventually add up.

Narcotics Anonymous and getting a day clean ruins the using for us. Then it just becomes a matter of not using come hell or high water.

jcw1964

The most important thing is that you seek help after relapsing. Stay with the program and you will figure out a way to beat the relapses.
Keep up the good work.
Jeff

mParnell

Be proud Nick. I think 10 is still an awsome number.

tyler

Gooch, as usual you summed it up perfectly for me!! For myself, counting days never worked well, had a lot of 28, 29, 57, 58 day periods of clean time, but I always seemed to bail before the "big moment". I think I have a bit of a fear of success thing going. It's really hard to explain and I don't totally understand it myself, but I have been much better off staying clean today and only worrying about that day. As long as I do that the days will add up.

Good job pickin youself up and dusting yourslef off Nick, you got what it takes!!