polkadot

Aries I was just thinking about you. Hope all is well, i think i read that your sister is going to get to come home, thats very good. Still praying about your stepson and jail issue. I am so impressed that you are handling things so well. I can have a bad day and complain about the stupidest things. I know your missing Gothan but maybe all this other stuff on your mind is helping with being so depressed over him.....i know, i was just trying to be positive....love, dot

ARIES

Thanks for asking...Yeah in a way you're right...Becos all of the other things that happend last days the mourning bout Gothan dissapeared..In a way I feel guilty bout it..Just like he didn't meant something to me at all..And everybody knows he did..Anyhow yesterdayevening (at 10 o clock)two of the schoolfriends of Pablo came to ask if Pablo was here..I just phoned his moher bout it cos it could be that Pablo told his friends that he would be at his fathers place(with us)and I don't want him to use his stayin with us to do bad things with his friends...anyhow what are children of that age doin outside their home at that hour...Bout the jailthing..I'm rather worried bout that..But a lot of people tell me not to think bout the future..And I realy try to live in the moment...Tomorrow I phone to my lawyer and ask him if they maybe could change it to house arest...They put a band round your ankle and if you go outside they can see it on the computer...I try not to worry bout it but it ain't simple..I'm not cryin nomore for Gothan...But I miss him... the 6 year old child of a girlfriend who is stayin with us for the weekend together with my other 2 stepsons of 5 and 8 said he missed him too and that it was his favorite cat too cos he always came to him and becos he was so nice...His face was verry sad at that moment and I had difficulties not to cry at that moment...I'm glad he remembered him...Time will pass and I hope it all be solved...For the moment I stay inside so I can't drink...Before Bruno brought some wine in house (to drink with diner if friends or his brother came over to eat)But we wont do that the next weeks cos it's really to dangerous for me...Thanks anyhow for asking...Love from Stefanie..

ARIES

Oh by the way...I'm 100 days sober today...And I'm workin' to put another zero behind it

polkadot

stefanie, glad to hear from you. Don't feel guilty about not crying all the time and be so down all the time, you didn't want to see him sick, i think that really rought when you see them hurting really bad and theres nothing you can do. you will always miss him and wish he was there. i know i do. the house arrest sound like a lot better option. i wasn't sure when they were going let you know. where i live people can accidnetly kill someone(car wreck or whatever) and they get fined and let go and put on probation. especiallyl first time people. child and animal abuser get by with it here with a slap on the wrist. this makes me so angry. good people like you they are being tough with...my teacher said the law is a four letter word...and it aint fair...take care , i am still at work, 16 hours shifts, but least its not a hard job, i am just sick of being here..... love, dot

polkadot

I think of you when i want a pill to escape... i really look up to you!! you have been and going through so much and your sobriety is still #1. awesome, girl.