namommy

Well, I finally decided to do what I've known all along needs to be done. I am searching for a new sponsor. I am planning on going to see my current sponsor this weekend and talking to her about this. I need to do this face to face, because of all she is going through. I just don't think it would be right to do it over the phone. I am hoping that we can still maintain the friendship.

I did some praying and meditating last night, and this AM, and I decided to start seriously looking. Just about every night of the week, I have a choice of 2 or 3 meetings in a 5 or 10 min. drive from my house (spoiled), today I decided I needed to go outside the area (a whole 20 min. away) to share about the situation. And Gooch, if you are reading this, I could almost hear you "When the student is ready, the teacher will appear". The woman chairing the meeting, kept attracting my attention. I liked the way she carried herself, and how friendly she seemed. There was just something about her. After the meeting she approached me, and we started talking. We spent almost an hour talking, and it just flowed so freely. I found out that she is coming up on 24 years clean, Her husband and my husband know each other, yet we've never met. She also sponsors some of the women I know. And, this is great (for me anyway) for someone coming up on 24 years, she isn't all weird about using the word f*ck. I love it. I am thinking about asking her, but first I would like to talk to her a few times just to be sure. I am going to call her tomorrow and mention it. Wish me luck.

Patsyd1

Thats wonderful NAmommy, good for you!

Its ok to have more than one sponsor, so you may want to keep your first Sponsor, and simply add another. Either way, glad to hear that you came to a decision and that you are feeling better

Roxann

It seems that she did just come to you. I would talk to her a few more times, and see if it feels "right". If it does, ask her. It sounds like she would be a wonderful sponsor.

I know this was a hard choice for you to make Laurie, you are very brave and strong.
Keep it up honey, it's working for you.

cj.

(((((Laurie)))))

That is such wonderful news!! I am really happy for you!

I am also a bit envious because I too have been looking for a sponsor who hasn't turned all prissy and preachy. My temp one only says to me " You'll figure it out. You're smart enough." Then she changes the subject to her problems! AAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGG!! Oh well, at least she is teaching me how not to treat my own sponsees!

I think it is wonderful that you will have someone who is there for you.

Peace
cj

godsonmyside

If its time to move on, she will probably understand more than you feel right now.
I took the word F*cked up a litlle further in our Area, I looked up the meaning: Confused, mismanaged, disclosed. My sponsor told me he didn't understand why I used it all the time, So I came back to the table, it has a meaning in the dictionarey, its a word. hahaha
Good luck with your sponsorship quest, its gonna happen.
Todd J.

namommy

Thank you all for your support.

Patsy,
Sorry, but I DO NOT believe it is OK to have more than one sponsor. I need to find 1 person who I can go to whose opinion I trust. If I have more than one sponsor, I am sure to go to whichever one I feel will co-sign my crap.

I have been taught:
1 disease, 1 program, 1 sponsor.

Otherwise, the message gets blurred.

Patsyd1

Hi NAmommy,

I didn't suggest that you HAVE to, what I shared is that you may want to. Obviously you do not choose to, and thats great.

For myself, when my sponsor got very ill, and couldn't be there for me. I chose another sponsor to work with, while my other sponsor healed. What was suggested to me, is that its great to have more then one sponsor, if one isn't available, then the other may be.

WE only carry one message. If I made the decision to play one sponsor off the other sponsor, then that wouldn't be because I had 2 sponsors. It would be because I was looking for an excuse to do it MY WAY. I learned from both my sponsors to take responsibility for my own thinking and my actions.

I never needed anyone to help me to co-sign my crap, I was damn good at that all by myself. LOL

Evanna

Well done Namommy. I know that wasnt an easy decision for you.

namommy

Well, I went to my sponsors house tonite. I had to go in person, even though I was shaking in my shoes the whole time. I wanted to take the cowards way out and just tell her over the phone, but that's not me. I explained to her that I still love her, and I want to keep the friendship, but it is time for me to move on in sponsorship. She was very OK with it. She said, she feels it has been more of a friendship than a sponsorship for a long time now. So we hung out for a few and talked, and all is well.

Now tomorrow, I am going to call the other woman I met yesterday. (I forgot to get her phone number from my sponsee before she went out tonite).

A long overdue change is finally being made.