Nightmares - Afraid of the Dark
Nature Girl
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Nightmares - Afraid of the Dark
I've shared here before about my recurring nightmares, they come in clusters and go for short periods of time. My doctor gave me some anti-anxiety pills to take before bed to help me sleep, and I didn't like how they made me feel so I stopped, but may begin again.
They came again last night. Worse than ever and more frightening than ever before. No reason, nothing going on in my life to trigger them anymore than usual, they just came. Same pattern, nightmare then I'd wake up terrified, I'd go back to sleep and more nightmares...all night long.
Something I realized last night is that when I wake up I am terrified because I am alone. I live alone most of the time, my husband travels in his work and is home now only some weekends or for a day here and there. I am not now nor have I ever been afraid to live alone. Not even when I lived in Toronto. I'm just not scared to live in my house alone.
But when I wake up after a nightmare, I often come here and read, just to feel connected to people. Watching TV or reading doesn't do that for me. I realized that being alone when I wake up makes me feel like the "nightmare" is still there. I need someone to scare it away. I feel like I have gone mad sometimes, and in the night it takes me a long time to realize that they are just dreams, bad dreams.
I'm a grown woman who is afraid of the dark. I feel silly and scared all at the same time.
I'm not particularly looking for answers here, but would gladly listen to any suggestion. I just needed to say that out loud.
Hugs
Ann
They came again last night. Worse than ever and more frightening than ever before. No reason, nothing going on in my life to trigger them anymore than usual, they just came. Same pattern, nightmare then I'd wake up terrified, I'd go back to sleep and more nightmares...all night long.
Something I realized last night is that when I wake up I am terrified because I am alone. I live alone most of the time, my husband travels in his work and is home now only some weekends or for a day here and there. I am not now nor have I ever been afraid to live alone. Not even when I lived in Toronto. I'm just not scared to live in my house alone.
But when I wake up after a nightmare, I often come here and read, just to feel connected to people. Watching TV or reading doesn't do that for me. I realized that being alone when I wake up makes me feel like the "nightmare" is still there. I need someone to scare it away. I feel like I have gone mad sometimes, and in the night it takes me a long time to realize that they are just dreams, bad dreams.
I'm a grown woman who is afraid of the dark. I feel silly and scared all at the same time.
I'm not particularly looking for answers here, but would gladly listen to any suggestion. I just needed to say that out loud.
Hugs
Ann
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 4,955
Ann, in my experience, if fear can't get you while you're awake...it will surely go for the cheap shot and get you while you are asleep and vulnerable.
Night terrors...I know of those.
And everything seems a lot scarier when it's dark and you're alone.
Have you ever seen the Stephen King mini-series "It"?
It's about a monster that preys on the fear of children.
Part of the way they beat it is to tell it that they aren't scared of it, even when they are.
They stand right up to it and yell "I'M NOT SCARED OF YOU".
I have my own version of doing that very thing when fear has the nerve to creep in and disturb my sleep.
I'm sorry that you're having trouble with this.
I'm holding good thoughts for you.
Hugs and sweet dreams,
Gabe
Night terrors...I know of those.
And everything seems a lot scarier when it's dark and you're alone.
Have you ever seen the Stephen King mini-series "It"?
It's about a monster that preys on the fear of children.
Part of the way they beat it is to tell it that they aren't scared of it, even when they are.
They stand right up to it and yell "I'M NOT SCARED OF YOU".
I have my own version of doing that very thing when fear has the nerve to creep in and disturb my sleep.
I'm sorry that you're having trouble with this.
I'm holding good thoughts for you.
Hugs and sweet dreams,
Gabe
Nature Girl
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Thanks Gabe, and "night terrors" more aptly describes it. I've tried what I can to scare it away, I've tried giving it no importance and not talking about it, I've tried having something to pick up and read to make me feel more connected to "good spirits", I've tried everything I know. It's like "they know" I'm faking it, perhaps the screaming or crying is my giveaway, and this sounds madder and madder as I write it but it's just the way it is.
I'm quite sane by day, and often stay up late to avoid it. Sometimes, and last night was one of those times, I know even before I go to bed that it's going to be one of "those" nights. I can feel it, even with no reason to.
I'm going to try the pills again, they seen to knock me out cold. That's what i don't like, but it's better than this.
Hugs
Ann
I'm quite sane by day, and often stay up late to avoid it. Sometimes, and last night was one of those times, I know even before I go to bed that it's going to be one of "those" nights. I can feel it, even with no reason to.
I'm going to try the pills again, they seen to knock me out cold. That's what i don't like, but it's better than this.
Hugs
Ann
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 4,955
Originally Posted by Ann
It's like "they know" I'm faking it
Those demons that haunt us in the night are smart.
And it's damn hard to outsmart them.
Peaceful thoughts from me to you Ann.
Remember, this is where you are now.
It's not where you're going to stay.
More hugs and lots of love,
Gabe
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I think you need a sleep study and another talk with that doctor.
I'm glad you are able to wake up enough to come here. I think it's hard to get out of that kind of nightmare because it's hard to wake up. I wonder if it would help to keep a bucket of ice water and a wash cloth by your bed so you can wet your face with cold water.
I don't think there is anything wrong with the way you are handling this. I think it's a sleep disorder that might need medical treatment. I think you should get a MRI and an EEG too. This has gone on too long and I think it might be a medical problem.
Love and hugs,
MG
I'm glad you are able to wake up enough to come here. I think it's hard to get out of that kind of nightmare because it's hard to wake up. I wonder if it would help to keep a bucket of ice water and a wash cloth by your bed so you can wet your face with cold water.
I don't think there is anything wrong with the way you are handling this. I think it's a sleep disorder that might need medical treatment. I think you should get a MRI and an EEG too. This has gone on too long and I think it might be a medical problem.
Love and hugs,
MG
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Hi Anne,Gabe and Teach, I remember Ann how much my nightmare pattern is like you discribed. Many times I can't remember the facts only the terrifing feeling. How about you? Then sometimes days later flashes of the nightmare will appear. I'm not sure this is possible but, sometimes I feel they are connected to my fear of the unknown while I was drinking. I become afraid when like I said, I don't know what happened. Then the fact that because I don't know, I can't protect myself. While awake we have meetings, friends and tools to protect us from harm. These tools that we have learned are not available while sleeping. Might be that after we stop drinking or whatever, we are no longer helpless. That is except while we sleep, we lose that control. I and all of us do so much preventive work. I look at going to sleep when these nightmares are happening as a chance to see HELL. Our minds are so complex and studies have just cracked the surface. Some don't agree but, we don't know yet what our minds are capable of. I mean, we inherit all types of things from our families. Why not memories. I have watched my niece for example. Her father died when she was 11 months. Yet at 15 years old, I see the same mannerisms I saw in her father.
She even uses saying he used to use. The bottom line is I have no answers either to these nightmares. They don't always seam to relate to a life event or a present state of mind. Do you sometimes gasp for air when waking up? Like you said the other day Ann, sometimes this get overwhelming. Don W
She even uses saying he used to use. The bottom line is I have no answers either to these nightmares. They don't always seam to relate to a life event or a present state of mind. Do you sometimes gasp for air when waking up? Like you said the other day Ann, sometimes this get overwhelming. Don W
Nature Girl
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Don, I remember that you too have these. Mine are very vivid and I remember every detail about them. They are often the same, or similar and you're right when you say we get a glimpse into hell. Sometimes I almost get used to them, like a rerun of a horror movie.
I've pretty much given up that I can do anything about them, and I'm grateful that they go after a while, but that's easy to say sitting here wide awake. I've always been a vivid and frequent dreamer, but until this past while they were mostly good dreams.
Last night I noticed my heart racing when I woke up, just racing and thumping right out of my chest. Maybe I'm starting to notice more about when this happens.
It does feel better to be able to talk about them. Somehow, to me, that shrinks them down to size, at least for now.
Hugs
Ann
I've pretty much given up that I can do anything about them, and I'm grateful that they go after a while, but that's easy to say sitting here wide awake. I've always been a vivid and frequent dreamer, but until this past while they were mostly good dreams.
Last night I noticed my heart racing when I woke up, just racing and thumping right out of my chest. Maybe I'm starting to notice more about when this happens.
It does feel better to be able to talk about them. Somehow, to me, that shrinks them down to size, at least for now.
Hugs
Ann
Nature Girl
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MG, I have them when he is home sometimes too. Like I said, they come and go but his presence doesn't scare them away. I had them when my son lived at home too, and it used to scare him as well, LOL.
I'll check into what they do at a sleep study. No lobotomy though
Hugs
Ann
I'll check into what they do at a sleep study. No lobotomy though
Hugs
Ann
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It's ok to be kind to yourself
Hi there Ann :-)
Sorry to hear they're still troubling you :-(
Join the club :-) I don't care much for the dark either, and I'm a tough dude who's taken on his share of adventure in life :-)
Here's the scoop on nightmares, which I've had on and off all my life.
There's two causes for nightmares, physical and stress.
- Get yourself a complete physical, especially check your hormones and your "upper GI". Things like menopause and ulcers are notorious for causing nightmares. So are things like thyroid problems, diabetes and heart problems.
- Stress of _any_ kind will cause nightmares. Present day stress on top of PTSD will give you really _nasty_ ones.
- Nightmares will cause nightmares. The body's natural chemistry is easily "reprogrammed" in the area of sleep patterns and dreams. If you have trouble sleeping for a couple weeks, your body "adapts" and stays in that pattern, making it harder to get sleep when you want it. That raises your stress level making it harder to get sleep and round and round you go. That's why doctors prescribe sleeping pills. The idea is to get your body back in the "habit" of sleeping at night. The pills also prevent nightmares. Take it from a guy who's had 'em all his life, those pills will keep the nightmares away.
- The catch to pills is that you have to experiment a bit before you find the right ones, and the right dosage. I do best with Klonopin, I get 0.25mg pills which I cut in half. One half at bedtime, another half if I wake up in the middle of the night. Starting Sunday nite thru Thursday nite. Friday nite I usually have built up enough in my bloodstream that I don't need them thru the weekend.
- Find the right combination of pills/dosage for you and you will sleep better, get the rest you need, feel better, loose the fear of sleeping and generally improve a whole lot.
- You can "reprogram" your own nightmares. I have and it works great. I'm not telling my own nightmares cuz they give people nightmares of their own. But here's is a classic example. Say you dream of falling out of a building. Every night, before bed, give yourself 5 minutes and just concentrate on those images from your nightmare, but _change_ them just a little bit. Imagine yourself having that exact nightmare, but having wings and instead of falling, you dream of your shoes falling and you flying high above them with your wings. I know it sounds silly but it works wonders for me. It takes me at least two weeks before I can "reprogram" one of my nightmares doing that, but once I do, the reprogramming sticks and I've had some _fun_ dreams as a result :-)
- 'course, if you have stress in your life, the best "cure" is to deal with the stress :-)
- once you figure out how to overcome the nightmares, it becomes easier and easier. My first time taking pills was some 25 years ago, and I was on them for a good 6 months. I was a real mess back then, dealing with the sexual, physical and emotional abuse in my childhood. Took them again 3 years later when I was diagnosed with a brain tumor. That was only 4 weeks worth of pills and I've been off them until just recently when I had a minor heart attack that goofed up my whole system. Been on them about 3 months and have been able to cut back the dosage by half.
- there's lots of other "positive imagery" techniques you can look up on google and try on your nightmares. Any of them will do you good.
- oh yeah, it's ok to leave a light on at night. With all the stuff you've got going on in your life you're allowed to treat yourself with kindness :-)
Mike :-)
Originally Posted by Ann
... I've shared here before about my recurring nightmares ...
Originally Posted by Ann
... I'm a grown woman who is afraid of the dark. I feel silly and scared all at the same
time.
time.
Here's the scoop on nightmares, which I've had on and off all my life.
There's two causes for nightmares, physical and stress.
- Get yourself a complete physical, especially check your hormones and your "upper GI". Things like menopause and ulcers are notorious for causing nightmares. So are things like thyroid problems, diabetes and heart problems.
- Stress of _any_ kind will cause nightmares. Present day stress on top of PTSD will give you really _nasty_ ones.
- Nightmares will cause nightmares. The body's natural chemistry is easily "reprogrammed" in the area of sleep patterns and dreams. If you have trouble sleeping for a couple weeks, your body "adapts" and stays in that pattern, making it harder to get sleep when you want it. That raises your stress level making it harder to get sleep and round and round you go. That's why doctors prescribe sleeping pills. The idea is to get your body back in the "habit" of sleeping at night. The pills also prevent nightmares. Take it from a guy who's had 'em all his life, those pills will keep the nightmares away.
- The catch to pills is that you have to experiment a bit before you find the right ones, and the right dosage. I do best with Klonopin, I get 0.25mg pills which I cut in half. One half at bedtime, another half if I wake up in the middle of the night. Starting Sunday nite thru Thursday nite. Friday nite I usually have built up enough in my bloodstream that I don't need them thru the weekend.
- Find the right combination of pills/dosage for you and you will sleep better, get the rest you need, feel better, loose the fear of sleeping and generally improve a whole lot.
- You can "reprogram" your own nightmares. I have and it works great. I'm not telling my own nightmares cuz they give people nightmares of their own. But here's is a classic example. Say you dream of falling out of a building. Every night, before bed, give yourself 5 minutes and just concentrate on those images from your nightmare, but _change_ them just a little bit. Imagine yourself having that exact nightmare, but having wings and instead of falling, you dream of your shoes falling and you flying high above them with your wings. I know it sounds silly but it works wonders for me. It takes me at least two weeks before I can "reprogram" one of my nightmares doing that, but once I do, the reprogramming sticks and I've had some _fun_ dreams as a result :-)
- 'course, if you have stress in your life, the best "cure" is to deal with the stress :-)
- once you figure out how to overcome the nightmares, it becomes easier and easier. My first time taking pills was some 25 years ago, and I was on them for a good 6 months. I was a real mess back then, dealing with the sexual, physical and emotional abuse in my childhood. Took them again 3 years later when I was diagnosed with a brain tumor. That was only 4 weeks worth of pills and I've been off them until just recently when I had a minor heart attack that goofed up my whole system. Been on them about 3 months and have been able to cut back the dosage by half.
- there's lots of other "positive imagery" techniques you can look up on google and try on your nightmares. Any of them will do you good.
- oh yeah, it's ok to leave a light on at night. With all the stuff you've got going on in your life you're allowed to treat yourself with kindness :-)
Mike :-)
Nature Girl
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Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Thanks Mike. I'm sorry you go through this too. I am going to try the pills again. They worked before, I just didn't like how they made me feel. But I need my sleep and peace of mind.
Hugs
Ann
Hugs
Ann
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Location: Charleston S.C.
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MG, Sleep Study is a good idea. I've never had one but, I've seen them performed at the different hospitals I've worked at. I have seen results that have shown a person that thinks they sleep all night, waking up between 2 to 3 hundred times. This is why they were so tired. I am going to check into it myself. I can feel myself toss and turn. Also what surprises me is the small length of time that I can have a nightmare. I'll wake up go back to sleep and awake from a nightmare in fear. I'll look at the clock and only 10 or 15 minutes have passed, yet I feel the nightmare was hours long. Have any of you experenced that? Or waking up and going back to sleep picking up right back where you stopped?. I understand Ann, there is little we can do but, I also can't help but feel talking with each other will help find the answer. Look, I've never thought of going for a sleep theraphy session. I'm going to ask my doctor, I have to start writing questions down. Do you do this? I'll either forget to ask something or my wife will say, " What did he say about this or that" and I'll say I don't know. I have to sit down and think about what he told me to do. Three days later I'll remember something. Don W
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(((Ann)))
God love your heart. I cannot help in any way. I can only relate. It seems as though time goes by and we are free from this horror and we kind of forget about it. And then, boom, back to feeling as though a building is about to be dropped on our head. I have been going through the same kind of thing recently. Afraid to sleep and dont until I drop on my face. I do not know why this re-occurs or why it is so very upsetting, but I wish that I did.
Ann, I am afraid of the dark too.
I do have to tell you this, although weird, it is very funny. During these nightmare times, my cat, max seems to guard over me. I do not know if I make noises in my sleep or what. When I open my eyes it is to whiskers attached to a wet nose, attached to a face that belongs to my pointy eared cat. And he is purring and staring at me right close up in my face like. Geez...no wonder I cant sleep!
I am thinking of you Ann and sending hugs and warm thoughts your way.
God love your heart. I cannot help in any way. I can only relate. It seems as though time goes by and we are free from this horror and we kind of forget about it. And then, boom, back to feeling as though a building is about to be dropped on our head. I have been going through the same kind of thing recently. Afraid to sleep and dont until I drop on my face. I do not know why this re-occurs or why it is so very upsetting, but I wish that I did.
Ann, I am afraid of the dark too.
I do have to tell you this, although weird, it is very funny. During these nightmare times, my cat, max seems to guard over me. I do not know if I make noises in my sleep or what. When I open my eyes it is to whiskers attached to a wet nose, attached to a face that belongs to my pointy eared cat. And he is purring and staring at me right close up in my face like. Geez...no wonder I cant sleep!
I am thinking of you Ann and sending hugs and warm thoughts your way.
Nature Girl
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Thank you Sky. My cat also seems to sense something and will come and sleep on the pillow right above my head as if to protect me.
I took the medication last night and slept like a baby. I think I should keep trying that for a while and see if it works over time. It feels good to have had some sleep. Although I wouldn't wish this on anyone, it also feels good to know that I am not alone with this.
Hugs
Ann
I took the medication last night and slept like a baby. I think I should keep trying that for a while and see if it works over time. It feels good to have had some sleep. Although I wouldn't wish this on anyone, it also feels good to know that I am not alone with this.
Hugs
Ann
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Posts: 12,431
Ann, you know I understand. I have found that those things we have "let go of" come back in their full horror through our unconsious in these night terrors. I usually let them go on for a few days until I understand what they are bringing up and telling me, what needs to be processed, dealt with, then I use the pills. Good sleep is a human neccessity. And allowing these to continue can be further traumatizing and damaging.
I have had episodes for 15 years. They have become quite infrequent but I am sure there will be more to blurp up, I just don't know when.
I just received today a new book I ordered on sleep, dreaming and consciousness, a very high quality book including the newest scientific research and spiritual input. I will share with you anything I find in it that I think may have value for you or be significant.
hugs,
live
I have had episodes for 15 years. They have become quite infrequent but I am sure there will be more to blurp up, I just don't know when.
I just received today a new book I ordered on sleep, dreaming and consciousness, a very high quality book including the newest scientific research and spiritual input. I will share with you anything I find in it that I think may have value for you or be significant.
hugs,
live
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Posts: 12,431
ps, Ann....technically the hippocampus becomes oversensitized and its chemistry is changed, The National Institute of Mental health has a website with information and explains the physiology. I have couple of other books that I will pull from later if you like. But it is important not to let this physiology become more and more sensitized.
Mine has been permanently affected. Listening to you and the progression of the effects on you, I suspect that this may be important for you to look into and understand.
my 2 centavos.
live
Mine has been permanently affected. Listening to you and the progression of the effects on you, I suspect that this may be important for you to look into and understand.
my 2 centavos.
live
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