I am grateful for ...
The best way out is through -- Robert Frost
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: This miraculous world!
Posts: 68
I am grateful for ...
... my sobriety every second of every day. Today is my 3 month sobriety anniversary and I am so very grateful for the richness, clarity, and appreciation that I have received in return for putting down the bottle(s).
Last night I had a dream in which I drank a glass of red wine with my Greek food. I reached to pour a second glass thinking, "I could have just one more" before realizing that I was drinking alcohol. I poured the 2 bottles I had ordered down the drain and ran off, sobbing, because I had erased everything that I had worked so hard to gain. I leaned against a door and cried and cried because I had so casually thrown it all away and nothing had changed ("I could have just one more"?!). When I woke up, I cried more tears out of gratitude for my very real sobriety.
This was my first dream in which I broke my sobriety. Coincidental timing? Methinks not.
Last night I had a dream in which I drank a glass of red wine with my Greek food. I reached to pour a second glass thinking, "I could have just one more" before realizing that I was drinking alcohol. I poured the 2 bottles I had ordered down the drain and ran off, sobbing, because I had erased everything that I had worked so hard to gain. I leaned against a door and cried and cried because I had so casually thrown it all away and nothing had changed ("I could have just one more"?!). When I woke up, I cried more tears out of gratitude for my very real sobriety.
This was my first dream in which I broke my sobriety. Coincidental timing? Methinks not. 
Congrats on taking your life back. The best way out is through -- Robert Frost
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: This miraculous world!
Posts: 68
Thank you so much, everyone, for your support, kindness, and positivity. In many ways, sobriety feels so natural to me that I can't believe it has only been 3 months! In others, when I am thrown into social drinking situations, I feel like a teenager at a college party, flustered and not sure what to do with my hands. I tend to avoid those types of parties, just as I did in high school. 
The dream, especially now that I have some distance from the initial fear that saturated me, was a blessing. IS a blessing. I don't have to wonder "what if I just had one glass of wine" because I did it, in my dream, in the most mundane, non-escalating, sterile environment: a meal in a quiet restaurant. And I escalated, or wanted to. So, THAT is what would happen and I am so lucky to have experienced that in a safe but authentic way.
I am a glass half full kinda gal. Or glass overflowing! Oh -- with seltzers and shrubs ... overflowing with seltzers and shrubs.
Thank you again and Dee, I LOVE Pooh's Thoughtful Spot.
In many ways, sobriety feels so natural to me that I can't believe it has only been 3 months! In others, when I am thrown into social drinking situations, I feel like a teenager at a college party, flustered and not sure what to do with my hands. I tend to avoid those types of parties, just as I did in high school. The dream, especially now that I have some distance from the initial fear that saturated me, was a blessing. IS a blessing. I don't have to wonder "what if I just had one glass of wine" because I did it, in my dream, in the most mundane, non-escalating, sterile environment: a meal in a quiet restaurant. And I escalated, or wanted to. So, THAT is what would happen and I am so lucky to have experienced that in a safe but authentic way.
I am a glass half full kinda gal. Or glass overflowing! Oh -- with seltzers and shrubs ... overflowing with seltzers and shrubs.
Thank you again and Dee, I LOVE Pooh's Thoughtful Spot.
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