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Class of July 2016 Support Thread Part 5

Old 08-24-2016, 05:30 AM
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Class of July 2016 Support Thread Part 5

last part here:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...rt-4-a-20.html

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Old 08-24-2016, 05:33 AM
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AHH, you got me Dee. I was just posting a reply and got the message that the thread was closed, LOL!
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Old 08-24-2016, 05:34 AM
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Sorry - but I have to go to bed sometime Optimist
Night all

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Old 08-24-2016, 05:37 AM
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Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
Sorry - but I have to go to bed sometime Optimist
Night all

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Sweet dreams :-)
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Old 08-24-2016, 05:45 AM
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Viperidae, you did the right thing and you're doing a great job. Just remember, your family had been living with a drinking you for how long? They probably don't know how to interact with a sober you. Give them time, but remember, you're doing this for you!

And super job on clearing out the loft!
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Old 08-24-2016, 06:01 AM
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Getting ready to start my day, working from home.

My meeting went well last night. Thanks JL for reminding me that I had to give my "stuff" to my Higher Power. I felt better immediately!

The director of the recovery group gives a message each meeting. He's a little rough around the edges and has said some things in the past that made me cringe but last night took the cake. I walked out on him.

For whatever reason, he made 3 racist remarks in a row hitting 3 different cultures. The first comment, I said out loud "Stop now" but since I sit in the back and run the sound and visuals, he didn't hear me, but the 3 people with me did hear me. He continued his "joking" with 2 more comments and I was out of there. If he had been in any job setting in the US, he would have been fired for what he said.

When this group started out, it was very small, so his comments didn't affect too many people. Most of the original members were bikers, street people, ect. and could handle that type of talk. Now we have 75-100 people showing up each week. Moms, dad, grandmothers, teenagers are all there and he's failed to recognize that his street talk is not really appropriate now.

So, I talked to him afterwards. He's sort of prideful and really tried to justify his comments. He realized he was off base when I told him that if this was the first meeting I ever attended, I would not be returning. Hopefully he'll give this some thought and figure out a safer way to approach us.

Well, back to work! Will check in later class :-)
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Old 08-24-2016, 07:31 AM
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Optimist, that is just ridiculous about the racist remarks, it gets my blood boiling.!

Oswin, SFL, must be so hard when spouses still drinking.

I still am infuriated about mine being laid off and not telling me. He is not a good interviewee and seems to think he has enough in 401k for life. That's absurd and delusional , we have a mortgage and live in an expensive area. Maybe enough to live in a cave and eat mice with our cats until age 85.

Trying to control emotions for now and then see what to do. I will not tolerate him sitting around playing games and expecting me to be breadwinner, housekeeper, etc.

Viper 50 days hoooray!
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Old 08-24-2016, 09:15 AM
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Optimist,
I know where pride will take me. I hope it doesn't take him there.
Don't you let his junk put you anywhere either.

Congrats Viper !
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Old 08-24-2016, 09:26 AM
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Originally Posted by PennyLane76 View Post
Optimist, that is just ridiculous about the racist remarks, it gets my blood boiling.!

Oswin, SFL, must be so hard when spouses still drinking.

I still am infuriated about mine being laid off and not telling me. He is not a good interviewee and seems to think he has enough in 401k for life. That's absurd and delusional , we have a mortgage and live in an expensive area. Maybe enough to live in a cave and eat mice with our cats until age 85.

Trying to control emotions for now and then see what to do. I will not tolerate him sitting around playing games and expecting me to be breadwinner, housekeeper, etc.

Viper 50 days hoooray!
I'm not surprised you are stressed, the fact he kept it from you is bad enough. Try not to let it stress you out. I know easier said than done. Tell him your not prepared to be the main breadwinner and he needs to get out there and find a new job. I know jobs aren't that easy to find but he at least has to be proactive in finding one.
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Old 08-24-2016, 02:19 PM
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Congrats on 50 days Viper!

Woke up dreaming about cueing up to buy alcohol this morning. My Dad was there with me (which would be right, he's an alco), and loads of other very unattractive people. It was a dark street and I was all alone. Pretty weird. The stuff is still messing with my head.

I went to my counselor again yesterday. He's helping me draw up plans to get the rest of my life together so I don't fall back in the trap. I didn't realise how much difference having a person who specialises in drug and alchol rehab on your team makes. It's no wonder it was so difficult all the other times. I really feel gifted to have ended up with such a great, knowledgeable, supportive person to help me out. Especially considering how isolated I am geographically.

Anyhow, I hope you all have a great day/night. Need to get on with my work now.
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Old 08-24-2016, 03:18 PM
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What an awful dream Forester. It's great that you have a counselor who is so supportive. I've been wanting to do that, too. I need help sorting everything out. I'll look into it.
I feel for you Penny! Is he trying to make light of it to make you feel better? I wonder if he's deep down very concerned and just doesn't want to admit it?
Dog has to go out. See you all later!
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Old 08-24-2016, 03:46 PM
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Originally Posted by JL2014 View Post
Optimist,
I know where pride will take me. I hope it doesn't take him there.
Don't you let his junk put you anywhere either.

Congrats Viper !
Oh, he and I have had run-ins before about his mouth. I don't let him get away with much...

Thanks JL!
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Old 08-24-2016, 04:08 PM
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Congrats Viper

I'm sorry you had that experience Optimist. That's incredibly unprofessional and personally it would make my blood boil, so I'm really impressed at how you calmly had it out with him. Good stuff

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Old 08-24-2016, 04:11 PM
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Forester, alcohol does take us to dark, scary places, doesn't it? Thank goodness it was only a dream...

Penny...
Just know we're here if you need us...

Well, I made it through another day. My allergies are really bad and it's wearing me down. I think I'll make a cup of tea, put on my pj's and get ready for bed.

Talk to you tomorrow :-)
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Old 08-24-2016, 04:14 PM
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Anyone hear from Cute? Hope he's doing ok...
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Old 08-24-2016, 05:36 PM
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Wife's brother in hospital acute renal failure. Not finding cause as of yet. May be high BP did damage. It's bad. He's younger than me, maybe 43-44.
I'm having a hard time focusing on evening meditation ( just started a week ago).
Jangled up a bit.
Thy will be done, higher power.
Gnite friends
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Old 08-24-2016, 06:02 PM
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Prayers for your BIL, JL - and for you and your family.
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Old 08-24-2016, 11:41 PM
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Originally Posted by Optimist4ever57 View Post
Anyone hear from Cute? Hope he's doing ok...
I'm here n sober . Thanks for checking on me Optimist :-) I've been reading just haven't posted . Weekend trip this weekend. So I'll be away from the site. Hope your wife's brother is ok JL.
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Old 08-25-2016, 03:34 AM
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Thanks y'all.
A job opp presented itself, yesterday. My wife's all over me wanting me to do it, because her younger brother works there. I don't know what to do at ALL. It's .65 less an hr, but there's no chance of doing the things that I hate, here. ( flagging traffic, shovelling asphalt). It's "buildings and grounds", for a wealthy private neighborhood.
It's a little closer- in our county, but I've got the best job benefits I'll have where I'm at.
I don't know what to do. NO peace about with way.
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Old 08-25-2016, 03:57 AM
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When I'm in doubt I write out the pros and cons...if that doesn't cut it, then I pray JL

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