Class of March 2016 Support Part 15
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Class of March 2016 Support Part 15
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
How are you doing now Samantha?
I hope your migraines better, Jemma.
If you want to skip me being blunt...start now.
As far as 'You have to want to be sober more than you want to drink' goes - it's the absolute truth.
That's a CarolD-ism - carried on now by Least and others - and I can't count the number of members here who've come back and said that however much it irked them at the time that statement stuck with them.
Should we stop telling newcomers the truth because it's not what they want to hear right now?
D
I hope your migraines better, Jemma.
If you want to skip me being blunt...start now.
As far as 'You have to want to be sober more than you want to drink' goes - it's the absolute truth.
That's a CarolD-ism - carried on now by Least and others - and I can't count the number of members here who've come back and said that however much it irked them at the time that statement stuck with them.
Should we stop telling newcomers the truth because it's not what they want to hear right now?
D
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Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 1,684
Speaking only for myself, it's what I need to hear and CarolD probably said it to me way back. I didn't want to hear it. I don't want to hear it now. As I said earlier, I do believe it's true because acceptance is what we need. It can be rough to hear though so I see the difficulty. Doesn't make it any less easy to accept.
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Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 397
Thanks for the well wishes everyone. My head does feel a little bit better. I've been sitting in the dark and putting away the screens when I'm done with this post.
I do take prescribed migraine medicine. Imitrex doesn't always work; Maxalt doesn't always work either. Tylenol and ibuprofen don't even touch the pain. I saw a neurologist 12 days ago who started me on Topamax, an anti-seizure med which is supposed to prevent migraines but it does take awhile to start really working.
I also use peppermint and lavender oils and have started getting massages specifically for migraines. This is all pretty expensive but my quality of life is pretty bad with migraines so it's worth it if it works.
I do take prescribed migraine medicine. Imitrex doesn't always work; Maxalt doesn't always work either. Tylenol and ibuprofen don't even touch the pain. I saw a neurologist 12 days ago who started me on Topamax, an anti-seizure med which is supposed to prevent migraines but it does take awhile to start really working.
I also use peppermint and lavender oils and have started getting massages specifically for migraines. This is all pretty expensive but my quality of life is pretty bad with migraines so it's worth it if it works.
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Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 5,250
Applekat,
Yes, all 3 of our children are in school during the day now which has been good AND bad.
I quit my job last year so I could focus on my sobriety (and my job stressed me out!) and I think it actually made things worse because suddenly I had ALL the time in the world to be hungover or drink.
Anyway...I really want to go back to work but want to get some significant sobriety under my belt first. I'm lucky that my husband can support us right now.
What I've realized since I quit my job is that it wasn't the stress of my that made me drink, I drank because I'm an alcoholic.
Sooooo....yes, I slept until 2:00 pm today. I watched a basketball game until 1:00 am last night (NBA playoffs) then slept from 1:30 am - 7:30 am. I got the kids off to school and slept from 8:30 am-2:00 pm! I feel like a lazy ass but I feel rested and haven't wanted to drink today. Alcohol has so much sugar that being tired causes cravings because for alcoholics, alcohol can be a stimulant.
Anyway.....so there you have it! Ha!
Dee...I absolutely agree that you have to stay sober more than you want drink to stay sober....I just hate that saying. Ha!
Here's a post (below) from bimiblue (class of March 2014) the other day that I LOVE and it gave me LOTS of hope!
------------------
I'm from the Class of March 2014. I stopped and never started again. It is possible and I would never ever go back. The first few months were pretty difficult, not gonna lie.
By month six, I started to see a light at the end of the tunnel, and I no longer thought it was a train.
At one year, I felt really good. It continues to get better. All I had to do was not pick up a drink and not pour it in my mouth. Pretty simple. No alcohol, no matter what. All the tools you need are right here and between your very own ears.
It doesn't matter why I drank - and I had some good reasons that I used as excuses - it only matters that I don't do it again. You can do it, too.
Two years sober is awesome. You asked how I got past them. One day at a time. I said the Serenity Prayer literally thousands of times a day. I often spent eight hours a day on this site; all hours of the day and night. I exercised. In the first three months I went to over 125 AA meetings. If I was away from the computer and not at a meeting and I got a craving, I ran through the HALT thing, fixed it if one of them applied. I ate a lot of healthy food and a lot of ice cream. I would silently recite to myself all the usernames I could remember from this site and then I said to myself, "Every single one of them would tell me not to do it." If someone made me mad, I stopped talking to them and stayed away from them. Seriously, my Serenity was my #1 goal at all times.
I made a decision not to drink no matter what happened. Once I had a few months sober time and it wasn't such a moment-by-moment battle, I started dealing with all the things in my life that I needed to heal in myself. We all have something. There is a solution for every problem under the sun. Thing is, as long as I wasn't physically sober, I couldn't really effectively tackle the emotional and spiritual healing. I prayed every day. I had a gratitude list.
I posted here every day. The cravings are going to come, no way around it. Sometimes I still have a thought about a drink when I'm doing something I used to do that was involved with alcohol (so, lol, everything), but no way I'm going back to that horrible place and starting over.
Yes, all 3 of our children are in school during the day now which has been good AND bad.
I quit my job last year so I could focus on my sobriety (and my job stressed me out!) and I think it actually made things worse because suddenly I had ALL the time in the world to be hungover or drink.
Anyway...I really want to go back to work but want to get some significant sobriety under my belt first. I'm lucky that my husband can support us right now.
What I've realized since I quit my job is that it wasn't the stress of my that made me drink, I drank because I'm an alcoholic.
Sooooo....yes, I slept until 2:00 pm today. I watched a basketball game until 1:00 am last night (NBA playoffs) then slept from 1:30 am - 7:30 am. I got the kids off to school and slept from 8:30 am-2:00 pm! I feel like a lazy ass but I feel rested and haven't wanted to drink today. Alcohol has so much sugar that being tired causes cravings because for alcoholics, alcohol can be a stimulant.
Anyway.....so there you have it! Ha!
Dee...I absolutely agree that you have to stay sober more than you want drink to stay sober....I just hate that saying. Ha!
Here's a post (below) from bimiblue (class of March 2014) the other day that I LOVE and it gave me LOTS of hope!
------------------
I'm from the Class of March 2014. I stopped and never started again. It is possible and I would never ever go back. The first few months were pretty difficult, not gonna lie.
By month six, I started to see a light at the end of the tunnel, and I no longer thought it was a train.
At one year, I felt really good. It continues to get better. All I had to do was not pick up a drink and not pour it in my mouth. Pretty simple. No alcohol, no matter what. All the tools you need are right here and between your very own ears.
It doesn't matter why I drank - and I had some good reasons that I used as excuses - it only matters that I don't do it again. You can do it, too.
Two years sober is awesome. You asked how I got past them. One day at a time. I said the Serenity Prayer literally thousands of times a day. I often spent eight hours a day on this site; all hours of the day and night. I exercised. In the first three months I went to over 125 AA meetings. If I was away from the computer and not at a meeting and I got a craving, I ran through the HALT thing, fixed it if one of them applied. I ate a lot of healthy food and a lot of ice cream. I would silently recite to myself all the usernames I could remember from this site and then I said to myself, "Every single one of them would tell me not to do it." If someone made me mad, I stopped talking to them and stayed away from them. Seriously, my Serenity was my #1 goal at all times.
I made a decision not to drink no matter what happened. Once I had a few months sober time and it wasn't such a moment-by-moment battle, I started dealing with all the things in my life that I needed to heal in myself. We all have something. There is a solution for every problem under the sun. Thing is, as long as I wasn't physically sober, I couldn't really effectively tackle the emotional and spiritual healing. I prayed every day. I had a gratitude list.
I posted here every day. The cravings are going to come, no way around it. Sometimes I still have a thought about a drink when I'm doing something I used to do that was involved with alcohol (so, lol, everything), but no way I'm going back to that horrible place and starting over.
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 7,909
I agree that it's an absolute truth. I think the problem is that, as true as the statement is, it's not an absolute statement and our addictions love to find those loopholes. It seems to mean that 51% of you has to want to stop drinking over the 49% that doesn't. I think newcomers read that statement and focus on the 49% possibility. I know I've talked privately to a couple of people struggling in the last week who have had that exact reaction to it. "Maybe I don't really want to stop..."
I guess what I'm saying is I think when newcomers post about their struggles and someone gives them a one sentence answer "You have to want to be sober more than you want to drink" that it can just as easily be read as "If some part of you still wants to drink, then you might as well go ahead and drink."
I know that's not what that adage means, I'm just saying that a lot of newcomers see it and think that because some part of them still wants to drink that it means they're not ready to stop.
I just don't think, as true as the adage absolutely is, that it's a great one sentence answer to someone struggling. But that's just my opinion.
Like I said, I absolutely agree it's a 100% truth. It just doesn't mean that you have to 100% want to stop drinking in order to be start your recovery. You just have to embrace the part of you that does want to stop. That's implied in the statement, but I don't think a lot of newcomers grasp that and that they instead focus on the part of them that still wants the drink.
But that's all just my opinion, and my long-windedness here to the contrary, it's certainly not something I dwell on every time I see that adage being used. Thirteenth's straddling the fence right now coupled with the private conversations I've had with others not in this class recently just brought it back to mind today.
I know it's 100% true in my life, and I most definitely have reached that point in my own recovery where I want to stop drinking way more than I want to continue. But I'm pretty sure I was not there on March 13, 2016, when I came back here to SR. I'm glad I didn't drink anyways.
And I really am going to work now. Wishing everyone the best tonight! Remember you don't have to take that first drink today no matter what.
I guess what I'm saying is I think when newcomers post about their struggles and someone gives them a one sentence answer "You have to want to be sober more than you want to drink" that it can just as easily be read as "If some part of you still wants to drink, then you might as well go ahead and drink."
I know that's not what that adage means, I'm just saying that a lot of newcomers see it and think that because some part of them still wants to drink that it means they're not ready to stop.
I just don't think, as true as the adage absolutely is, that it's a great one sentence answer to someone struggling. But that's just my opinion.
Like I said, I absolutely agree it's a 100% truth. It just doesn't mean that you have to 100% want to stop drinking in order to be start your recovery. You just have to embrace the part of you that does want to stop. That's implied in the statement, but I don't think a lot of newcomers grasp that and that they instead focus on the part of them that still wants the drink.
But that's all just my opinion, and my long-windedness here to the contrary, it's certainly not something I dwell on every time I see that adage being used. Thirteenth's straddling the fence right now coupled with the private conversations I've had with others not in this class recently just brought it back to mind today.
I know it's 100% true in my life, and I most definitely have reached that point in my own recovery where I want to stop drinking way more than I want to continue. But I'm pretty sure I was not there on March 13, 2016, when I came back here to SR. I'm glad I didn't drink anyways.
And I really am going to work now. Wishing everyone the best tonight! Remember you don't have to take that first drink today no matter what.
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Australia
Posts: 2,098
Jemma I get migraines too, though they're quite rare for me these days for which I'm so grateful. But they're so horribly debilitating and painful, I really feel for you. I wouldn't wish it on anyone but especially not someone I care about. Maxalt is the only one that works for me, but again not always.
Do yours have a trigger? I had to try eliminating different foods, staying away from certain smells, be careful not to strain my eyes. I was getting them quite regularly before that. Yoga seems to help me too and I agree with peppermint - helps me too.
Do you get auras? I get the vision ones like thirteenth (sorry you get them too!!) I've tried to be really proactive and the first sign of even a sense of an aura I drop what I'm doing and relax, take my meds and smell some peppermint. I think before I had been leaving them too long, really helps to respond at very first signs.
Sorry if you've tried all this and it's no help, I just hate to see someone else go through that. Migraines are hell.
Do yours have a trigger? I had to try eliminating different foods, staying away from certain smells, be careful not to strain my eyes. I was getting them quite regularly before that. Yoga seems to help me too and I agree with peppermint - helps me too.
Do you get auras? I get the vision ones like thirteenth (sorry you get them too!!) I've tried to be really proactive and the first sign of even a sense of an aura I drop what I'm doing and relax, take my meds and smell some peppermint. I think before I had been leaving them too long, really helps to respond at very first signs.
Sorry if you've tried all this and it's no help, I just hate to see someone else go through that. Migraines are hell.
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Australia
Posts: 2,098
I guess what I'm saying is I think when newcomers post about their struggles and someone gives them a one sentence answer "You have to want to be sober more than you want to drink" that it can just as easily be read as "If some part of you still wants to drink, then you might as well go ahead and drink."
I actually agree with that saying and like it a lot now, but at first it bothered me and I don't think it's because I just didn't want to hear it. I think it was more that I didn't understand it, and not everyone explains.
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Join Date: Aug 2012
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Hi Kiki! I'm glad you got some rest, your body must need it. I know how hard it is for people like us to feel lazy or like we wasted the day, but in truth it's what we need sometimes and the only wasted day is a drunk one
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Join Date: Mar 2016
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Posts: 3,197
I am making a nice dinner and then I will take Charlie out and spend some time on some kind of distracting computer game...
I crave chips and Oreo cookies and gummy candy - when I really want junk food I know that I have to tread especially lightly and be watchful of where my mind goes.
I crave chips and Oreo cookies and gummy candy - when I really want junk food I know that I have to tread especially lightly and be watchful of where my mind goes.
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Thanks for your throughts guys 
Case, I think if people want to find a loophole they'll find one, or make one.
I know I used to rationalise for the Olympics
I must admit that if I use the phrase I usually tie it to the tale of the two wolves
It gives a bit of context, some easy to understand symbolism, it puts us in the drivers seat and hopefully, some hope that we really can beat this thing
D
Case, I think if people want to find a loophole they'll find one, or make one.
I know I used to rationalise for the Olympics
I must admit that if I use the phrase I usually tie it to the tale of the two wolves
It gives a bit of context, some easy to understand symbolism, it puts us in the drivers seat and hopefully, some hope that we really can beat this thing
D
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Australia
Posts: 2,098
Dee I've seen your posts in reference to the two wolves, I actually always had the opposite reaction to that from just that saying alone - always hit me hard and I immediately understood, definitely connected with me.
I think some of the posters who use the sentence alone without any other context except for maybe 'well, it's in your hands' etc is the 'problem' if you can even call it a problem
addicts looking for trouble everywhere!!
Love that picture though I haven't seen that but sums it up nicely
I think some of the posters who use the sentence alone without any other context except for maybe 'well, it's in your hands' etc is the 'problem' if you can even call it a problem
addicts looking for trouble everywhere!!Love that picture though I haven't seen that but sums it up nicely
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Kiki - sleep away for sure! The T in HALT is my hardest, with three young children. I am barely getting 5-6 hours in a given 24 hour day. Wah wah. Someday! There are worse things in life! I wonder already what I will do when all three are in school but I could DEFINITELY understand the downtime being both good and bad.
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