Calicofish

I'm going on 15 months sober now and so thankful that I have AVRT to help stave off those yummy relapses. The past month or so, the thought of drinking has entered my mind. I've been very lonely and I thought entering my 3rd year of leaving a 28 yr marriage, I'd be further along and have a better social life. Things have not gone as smoothly as I'd hoped and I'm still struggling, so, there have been times when I thought...gee, I could just obliterate all this loneliness easily.

AVRT and this SR community have stopped me from diving head first into a yummy relapse.

I don't drink and I will never change my mind, no matter what.

CF

entropy1964

Ok so help me out, what is a yummy relapse?

Calicofish

It's a term Trimpey uses in his book Rational Recovery. It provides me with a mental image that a relapse is self indulgent. It works for me.

dwtbd

Sending you better vibes cfish, betch yer glad to be a fish that can see the barbed hook under the juicy lookin worm .
Hope things can see their way to trending more upward , best we can do in the interim is to not make them worse .

tursiops999

hey Calicofish, congrats on your 15 months!

leaving a LTR is hard ... I left a 15 year marriage (although it was quite some time ago, as I was married very young). It took longer than I expected/hoped it would take, to feel like I had built a new life ... about 5 years, although things got better in stages. So I can empathize!

of course the AV wants us to think that alcohol would fill the loneliness, but we know it's lying, right?

hugs to you

oldsoul1122

Hi...Is there a way you can create a balance with your social life And being married, getting out more with friends you have things in common with? I say this because I've been with a companion for many years drinking and mainly just staying around him. I'm 9 months sober and recently it got to where I was miserable and thought I had to make a choice between him and a happy sober life. I was depending on HIM to make me happy which of course didn't work and I was a real bitch. Then I decided to make some friends and get out more to meet my needs and things are sooo much better....I have the best of both worls. We get along better also. It's a balance. Also, I've been single 30+ years and it's NO picnic out there.

Calicofish

I'm not quite sure what you are asking me Old soul? I left my marriage - it's over. Not only did I leave my marriage, but I left the province - I left everything behind. I'm in a new town and I when I moved here I didn't know anyone. My immediate family lives 3 days drive away. It's very difficult for a single, mature woman to break into social circles. Married couples don't invite single women to functions. I've joined things. I'm trying online dating - and OMG I don't know how many frogs I will have to go through to find my prince.

Sometimes I find the loneliness absolutely crushing and that's when the thoughts surface.

CF

oldsoul1122

Oops sorry I read that wrong! I thought you were still married. I know what you mean about married couples. I'm just now beginning to feel like I fit in at AA and making some friends. There are So many singles there doing fun things without alcohol. There were 38 women at the last meeting.

brynn

Well done Calico! I can really relate to a lot of what you've said and yeah, it's hard out there. I hope things start looking up for you very soon. And thank goodness we don't have to add drinking to our list of woes!
Xo

skywalker91

Calicofish,

Great job on 15 months! As far as the marriage goes..I am glad you are doing what's best for you...my sister was divorced and single for about 5 years and now she is remarried and just gave birth..focusing on you & your hobbies, learning about your values, self reflection, new friendships will help you keep busy until you meet your REAL prince...also,never underestimate the power of patience and prayer.. it will all work out in time glad you didn't pick up & are remaining vigilant w sobriety