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Column 5: God's Will

Old 04-16-2016, 07:41 AM
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Column 5: God's Will

I'd like to hear from those who did a Column 5: how would you have acted if you had God in your life. I wasn't taught this way but I can definitely see how it'd be helpful. Even now, while in Step 10 I am struggling to see how I should act instead of being resentful.
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Old 04-16-2016, 12:53 PM
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personally, i didnt di that. i just followed what thebig book says should be my actions today. reading that tells me precisely how i should have acted.
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Old 04-16-2016, 01:05 PM
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I pray to be useful to others, for my higher power to give me the inspiration to be useful to others, wherever I am and wherever I go.....

Gets me out of self......
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Old 11-08-2016, 06:05 AM
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old thread but a good thread
in step 10 we can go back to our sex inventory and borrow 2 questions
1-where was I at fault?
2-what should I have done instead?

after prayer,I answer these 2 questions.I see question 2 as God`s will for me.A old sponsor of mine used to tell me,Tommy,ask God to forgive you and take you to better things[His plans for me(question 2) vs my problems(my self reliance question 1)].Go talk to them if you feel like amends are necessary and get on with the business of living.
That way I see where my self reliance popped back into my life for a short while causing trouble.
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Old 11-30-2016, 07:31 AM
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Originally Posted by Tommyh View Post
old thread but a good thread
in step 10 we can go back to our sex inventory and borrow 2 questions
1-where was I at fault?
2-what should I have done instead?

after prayer,I answer these 2 questions.I see question 2 as God`s will for me.A old sponsor of mine used to tell me,Tommy,ask God to forgive you and take you to better things[His plans for me(question 2) vs my problems(my self reliance question 1)].Go talk to them if you feel like amends are necessary and get on with the business of living.
That way I see where my self reliance popped back into my life for a short while causing trouble.
Tommyh, thank you, I just saw this post now.

I must've driven my sponsor crazy because I need everything spelled out for me and she just didn't know how to. (I imagine it's probably like telling someone how to tie their shoes....)

Let's just say reading your reply gave me a great lightbulb moment!!!
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Old 11-30-2016, 07:32 AM
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Originally Posted by tomsteve View Post
personally, i didnt di that. i just followed what thebig book says should be my actions today. reading that tells me precisely how i should have acted.
meaning....be kind, patient, loving to all, yes?
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Old 11-30-2016, 07:33 AM
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Originally Posted by sugarbear1 View Post
I pray to be useful to others, for my higher power to give me the inspiration to be useful to others, wherever I am and wherever I go.....

Gets me out of self......
Thanks, sugarbear....good reminder of what the book says is now our primary purpose. My sponsor often reminded me if I was stuck in self/ego to go help someone.
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Old 12-01-2016, 07:14 PM
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Hi C3-
[Is your pm box cleaned out yet?! Email me ]
I hadn't heard of this 5th column part til this thread.

I didn't do it formally when I did step 4, but in thinking about the concept....I see it in play in my life in a rear-view-finder kind of way. A smaller mirror to look at the past (as in, we do not regret the past nor do we shut the door on it, BB paraphrase) and a wider lens for the present/future, as in "how does God want me to handle this, do that now?"The taking out of self ("flipping it" as my bf and I call it, when turning an issue, problem (disturbance), etc around - away from the "I" and onto the other, and their needs/wants/etc) - and truly, use of the pause and the listen buttons.

Lately, I have been working a lot on the concept of active prayer. An example would be one day recently when I had just been....struggling....just kind of out of sorts so I decided to have a running dialogue with God throughout my lunch shift at the restaurant. Whatever popped into my head. Literally - "ok, just got a table, what should I say to them first?" as in "hmm, maybe I'll start with a different type of greeting" or something totally inane just to mix it up....that became increasingly subconscious as the day went on and I swear I felt like I was reacting to things more smoothly because I had the right stage director in my ear. This may sound weird or not make sense, but it was a fun little exercise.

Here at 9 months I find that keeping the past compartmentalized enough to be at peace - I simply cannot change even the worst stuff and the stuff I reallllly wish I could- and using the present and forward-thinking (ie, big stuff like how does God want my relationship with C to keep growing? Is x decision the right one for the us we are building? and such) context of what God wants me to do, and learning to listen for that instruction better, is where I am in my recovery.
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Old 12-02-2016, 05:16 AM
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Important to remember "we will not regret the past or wish to shut the door on it is one of the ninth step promises', this "phase of our development" being clearing away the wreckage of the past. I used to think you got that at step four and a half, till I began to study the book.
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Old 12-05-2016, 05:21 AM
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Originally Posted by Centered3 View Post
meaning....be kind, patient, loving to all, yes?
yes, but also not be a doormat and grovel before no one.
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Old 12-05-2016, 09:53 AM
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Originally Posted by tomsteve View Post
yes, but also not be a doormat and grovel before no one.
Thanks Tomsteve. That's an important reminder for us.
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Old 12-05-2016, 09:55 AM
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Originally Posted by Gottalife View Post
Important to remember "we will not regret the past or wish to shut the door on it is one of the ninth step promises', this "phase of our development" being clearing away the wreckage of the past. I used to think you got that at step four and a half, till I began to study the book.
Our meeting leader often shares (for the newcomer, although then we hear it repeatedly, lol) that it's inventory + amends; not just inventory.

Thanks, Mike.
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Old 12-05-2016, 10:14 AM
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Originally Posted by August252015 View Post
Hi C3-
[Is your pm box cleaned out yet?! Email me ]
Hi, August. :-) I partially cleaned it out so I can receive new messages.

I hadn't heard of this 5th column part til this thread.
Not everyone teaches the steps with a 5th column. My group did not, yet my group teaches a thorough 4th step. It was my therapist who mentioned the 5th column, and I really like it. I wish I wrote a 4th step with it. I'm just unsure what I would have written. I guess it's a way to view the opposite of defects of character.

I didn't do it formally when I did step 4, but in thinking about the concept....I see it in play in my life in a rear-view-finder kind of way. A smaller mirror to look at the past (as in, we do not regret the past nor do we shut the door on it, BB paraphrase) and a wider lens for the present/future, as in "how does God want me to handle this, do that now?"The taking out of self ("flipping it" as my bf and I call it, when turning an issue, problem (disturbance), etc around - away from the "I" and onto the other, and their needs/wants/etc) - and truly, use of the pause and the listen buttons.
That's a great way of looking at it. I really appreciate this. I like your point of taking it out of self. Sort of like the choice between ego/mind vs. God. Which do we choose to respond with.

I like your mentioning the pause button (and listen button!! I never heard that before!) So it's sort of like, how would I have acted had I paused, asked God to direct my thinking and actions, and responded to the situation, vs be caught up in ego and reacting insanely....

Lately, I have been working a lot on the concept of active prayer. An example would be one day recently when I had just been....struggling....just kind of out of sorts so I decided to have a running dialogue with God throughout my lunch shift at the restaurant. Whatever popped into my head. Literally - "ok, just got a table, what should I say to them first?" as in "hmm, maybe I'll start with a different type of greeting" or something totally inane just to mix it up....that became increasingly subconscious as the day went on and I swear I felt like I was reacting to things more smoothly because I had the right stage director in my ear. This may sound weird or not make sense, but it was a fun little exercise.
Are you sure you're not recovered already? Lol you never cease to amaze me in your journey. I learned this early on but it didn't stick. But when you get to Steps 10/11, you will see that this is what we need to do to stay in fit spiritual condition, and to grow spiritually in our intimate relationship with God.

It's not weird at all. This is what recovery is about. Asking God, or the little voice within us all, to guide us. Life becomes much more smooth when we live this way. It is sanity. We become whole again.

I used to think prayer was all about "reciting prayers" or asking God to do something. It's actually just about "talking" to God, just like you're doing, throughout the day. It is often times as simple as something like, "God, these customers are difficult. Please help me kind, loving, and patient toward them", etc. Or, "God, I don't know how to handle this situation. Please help me not react in anger and get out of myself".

Like you said, the "stage director"....God is that gentle guiding voice which has always been there all along, to direct us, instead of running rampant via the insecure, broken, pride-driven, childlike, voice of the ego.

Here at 9 months I find that keeping the past compartmentalized enough to be at peace - I simply cannot change even the worst stuff and the stuff I reallllly wish I could- and using the present and forward-thinking (ie, big stuff like how does God want my relationship with C to keep growing? Is x decision the right one for the us we are building? and such) context of what God wants me to do, and learning to listen for that instruction better, is where I am in my recovery.
Wow that is an incredibly healthy attitude. Yes we cannot change the past, since it has already happened. And it's pointless "worrying" about the future or things we cannot change or control.

Let God guide your relationship, and take it moment by moment, just like we take our day. Sobriety isn't about not having a drink one day at a time. It's more than that. It's about living life on life's terms one day at a time.

You've got it, girl!!! It is about asking God to guide us, and trying to listen to hear His guidance. Prayer is talking to God, meditation is listening. You may not hear His voice during active meditation, but meditation clears your mind so you will be able to hear His voice. We do a 4th step not only to see "our part in the resentments", but also to unblock us so we can actually hear that small still voice inside of us. Some choose to call that "conscience", "higher power", or "God".

The tricky part, as my former sponsor used to tell me, is that spirit (God inside of us) and ego have the same voice. In step 11 you'll see that in the beginning, sometimes we make mistakes because we follow ego thinking it's God, and that's ok (I messaged you about how that happened to me recently). But it's all good. Some folks in AA have a way of deciphering if what you "hear" (thoughts of inspiration) are from God or from ego. I'll try to find it if you're interested. I think it is questions from an author named Wally P if I remember right. But with practice, it becomes second nature.

It sounds like you're unlike me, and are very disciplined at the practice, so your growth will be outstanding and likely second nature by the time you get to steps 10/11.

You are going to be an amazing sponsor, August. You're going to help a lot of women who are sick and suffering from alcoholism. Watching your growth in the surprisingly short amount of time in your recovery has been a tremendous gift for me and I'm sure others on SR.
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