SoberHTX88

Hi all,

I am a young professional looking for secular support groups and methods in Houston, TX and to find like minded individuals to make new friendships as I continue this journey of recovery. I am looking for suggestions on ways to alleviate boredom when home alone and new things to do, etc.

(DOS: 4/21/2015)

Jackedjohn

Welcome buddy. I'm not in TX so I don't have any specific suggestions for groups or things of that nature down there. I can only suppose that the secular road to recovery in TX is much more difficult than here in Mass... and it is difficult here. Pop recovery is very heavily nonsecular so you have to be creative in your recovery. I suggest reconnecting with hobbies that you really enjoy and finding new ones as well. Exercise is a great endorphin release. Hiking in nature with my dogs is better than any meeting I have ever gone to (in my opinion... to each their own). You have a few months of sobriety behind you so you must be doing something right. PM me if you want. Unfortunately sometimes the secular sections of this site do not get too many replies unless it turns into a debate.

SoberHTX88

Thanks for the quick reply, I was typing up a PM but it says I can't send a PM until 5 posts...

As for hobbies, I actually just got a dog myself so that has helped me a bunch, along with getting back into the gym. Looking to pick up my bass again as that will be a good thing too. I still enjoy many of the same activities from before (metal shows, BBQing, trying new restaurants, hiking, disc golf, etc).

My main struggle with AA is the submitting myself to god part. I went a couple of times but couldn't get over that. I am considering going back with a different mindset that "I am my own god" and applying that to what they say. I alone made the choice to quit drinking of my own free will.

Have you heard of SOS groups? I am trying to find one here in TX but have little luck.

Fluffer

Welcome soberHTX. You should look online for local meetings of Lifering, SMART recovery, Secular Organization for Sobriety, Women for Recovery (if you're a woman). There's got to be something secular in a huge city like Houston!

Jackedjohn

I've learned my lesson about mentioning issues with AA and god on this site... even here in the secular spot. In fact... I don't think we are supposed to. It's part of the rules for the secular forum. Get those posts up so we can communicate with PM. I have a lot of the same concerns. As far as the secular options for meetings... they are really hard to find. For example... in Mass there are well over 1000 12 step meetings in a week. There may be 10 meetings of other varieties in a week that I have found and most of them are well outside a reasonable driving distance for a 60 minute meeting. I would suggest maybe creating your own men's meeting at a starbucks or something. Even if it only starts out as you and 1 other... the word will get out and like minded individuals will come. Like I said you need to be creative with your recovery when you are a non-theist. Changing the way you perceive meetings is useful. However, you will most likely face some grief if you call yourself your own higher power. I am required to go to meetings now so I am learning how to handle it. Like I said I'm not sure how much we can say here without breaking the rules. So PM me when you have a chance.

fini

if you want to find secular support groups and can't, it really would be a great service to start them!
many others feel just as you do.
the reason a big city like Houston doesn't have that is because no one puts in the effort to make them happen.

freshstart57

HI SoberHTX, welcome to SR and to the secular side. I think you are welcome to discuss God all you like here, or how your view doesn't have one, that is all to the good. There is a proscription against talk about 12 Step Recovery in this forum, and for good reason. Any mention will bring a countering point of view, then the agument starts and nasty stuff starts flying around and it just makes SR look bad, especially to the advertisers. It's not fun for anyone.

As for making new friends, I suggest you pick an activity you enjoy, and then doing it. Like minded folks will be everywhere. I found it helpful to interact in environments that exclude alcohol for the most part. I was surprised to start bumping into others who were ex drinkers, like me. Recovery becomes a characteristic, instead of a primary pursuit.

I wish you well, SoberHTX, and hope you keep posting. There is a lot of support here for you!

JeffreyAK

Many people feel "bored" when they quit drinking, because the time we used to spend drinking is now open for other things and other thoughts. Never mind that drinking home alone is a complete time vacuum, it still feels like you're doing something.

People do all kinds of things to fill the perceived void. I got into building model cars, motorcycles, airplanes, etc., which was great for me - it filled time holes that I used to spend drinking, and it's also careful detail work that kept me distracted and not thinking about drinking. New hobbies, or old hobbies that you dropped in favor of drinking, can be great time fillers. Even watching TV or reading a book can work, by filling the time and distracting you.

tammy711

Hi.

When I first quit for good, I had learned boredom might be an issue. I found that hard to believe since I would LOVE to be bored!! ;- ). But, many told me that one's AV would mess with you in many different ways and forms.

I knew my AV would be as intelligent, witty, and as manipulative as I am, so I took precautions before and after my Big Plan.

I kept a log of all the things I wanted to do or try or learn. It use to be kept in the back of a journal that I carried everywhere. Whenever a thought would pop in my head, I would jot it down.

I would also put a level of effort with it.

I knew my AV would try to talk me out of something based on how much time I had, how much time it would take, etc.

Therefore... I don't have my notes now, that journal is long filled up and put somewhere in a pile.

It did have things like,

Learn French - large effort to master; small effort to get started
Start a VEGE garden - med effort
Explore the new park - small - med effort
Paint baseboards - med effort
Binge watch (some series) on Netflix - small effort
Go to the gym - med effort (depending on mood)
Try yoga - med effort
Organize junk drawers - small effort
Read a classic book - small effort
Write a letter to a distant aunt - small effort

Well, you get the idea...

When my AV would start in with "you're bored" - see how the AV talks to me in second person ;- ) I would pull out my list - sometimes just reading that growing list was enough to not be bored.

jptx

Hi SoberH. I am in Houston and am also seeking out secular meetings. Last week, I attended my first ever AA meeting and quickly decided it wasn't for me. I'm still not sure what will work best for me, but at this stage in my drying out (I'm on Day 12 of my current effort), I definitely need some outside assistance.

Other than AA, there are a few options, though they are admittedly few and far between. In our fair city, there are 3 SMART Meetings on either Monday or Tuesday evenings. I will be going to my first SMART meeting tonight at the Montrose Center. Just go to the smart recovery website for the list.

I also discovered there is a Buddhist-centered Refuge Recovery meeting on Tuesday nights at 8:00 near Rice University. I plan to go to that next week.

HOUSTON - Refuge Recovery
Tuesdays from 8pm to 9pm – First Christian Church, 1601 Sunset Blvd., Houston, TX 77005
Meeting is held in main building (not the church). Please follow signs for Refuge Recovery. Park in front lot on Sunset Blvd. or in back lot on Rice Blvd.

At this point, I'm not sure what will work best for me, but I'm going to keep trying things until I find what works for me. Up until this go around, I have always thought I could get over this on my own, much as one eventually gets over a cold, but that has only ever worked up to the day when it doesn't (and, inevitably, it doesn't).

Up to now I have been seeing my condition according to the disease model, and I think for me to look at it from that perspective almost guarantees I will remain sick. SMART looks at things from a more rational perspective, and I'm hoping that will help get me into the right frame of mind to deal with this thing appropriately, once and for all.

Congratulations on almost one year of sobriety! Very nice! My longest dry period was 14 months before I once again came crashing down. Boredom was a significant factor in my eventual downfall, and I'm looking to head off the inevitable 'Surely just a couple of drinks won't do any harm' thought that leads to another round of ruin. I need to change the way I think about this whole situation, and from what I've read, SMART looks promising. I'm at least going to give it a shot.

SoberHTX88

JP, thanks for the advice and pointers regarding the alternatives! I will have to check those out soon myself as I would like to share and hear stories from people to continue to get pointers as how to continue on this new path and life. I'm looking for like minded individuals to share experiences and develop new friendships as I have had to make some changes. I have made this choice to go sober of my own free will, but I feel that a support group that involves sober activities would be very beneficial to prevent the boredom that we all go through.

Thank for the advice and support, I would be glad to discuss more about what has worked for me so far and what other options are over PM.

freestylebob

http://www.meetup.com/topics/agnostic/us/tx/houston/

The above is a meet-up group in your area.

For me I started meetings in my area, service work was the missing link for me in staying stopped. Giving choice of recovery groups in my area helps others while helping me. Time to step up to the plate.

Layers and layers of online support. Don't focus on religion or secular but find stuff that makes since to you and get on with your recovery and have fun doing it.

Take Care

tursiops999

Just want to add my welcome, SoberHTX88. I participated in AA early in my sobriety, but am more focused on other methods these days. Feel free to PM, I'd be happy to talk. I'm not in your area, but it sounds like others have come up with some good leads on SMART or Refuge Recovery. Wishing you all the best.

CrazeeCat

Criminies. So, if you DON'T believe in GOD, you're effed on this site. That's what I'm getting here. This site supports all the GOD Loving (or fearing) people, but, the rest of us are left flapping in the breeze. Nice. So much for "here's a website, that has no interest in God, Like YOU, and will help you with your sobriety." A fart in the wind. What a waste of time filling out this freakin' profile.
And, all these other websites, are DEAD, or want your money.
Yes, let the drinks flow. Because, this website, along with others, encourage that. You know, for us non-believers.
Getting kicked out of here in 5, 4, 3, 2...............

leviathan

Atheist here. I find this site no different than walking down Main St. My lack of faith in a diety has put me in the minority for years. No big whup.

I guess, I just don't see why you can't work around it here. -like you probably do in your work life or whatever.

Even god-based recovery systems have valuable info. I'm not gonna close my ears just because someone mentions faith. If I only listened to athiests like myself, i couldn't even watch T.V. -just sayin...

Time2Rise

Crazee. That's not been my experience on this site. There are many atheists and agnostics here, and there is a lot of discussion about secular recovery methods. I think you're getting the wrong impression.

freshstart57

OK. I gave you a pass on your first thread, thinking maybe you just bumped into a couple posts that affirmed your fears and then flipped out. But now you are posting in the secular forum, and I am frankly baffled what you have seen here to support your reaction.

I will tell you sincerely that in my estimation you are simply wrong. If you want religion in any of its guises you can can find it somewhere at SoberRecovery. I don't see a problem with that. But just as easily, you can find well reasoned and coherent posts from a secular, atheist or agnostic viewpoint. I suggest you try to align yourself with one of those.

dwtbd

Crazee
Religiousity notwithstanding, I'd recommend a rethink on your perspective of what 'recovery' and 'support' really are, or should be. Sites or programs can be useful to get things 'out of' , and ususally commensurate with what you put in. They can't be looked at as a 'thing' that does something to /for you .
You can invite and mine support and advice from peers and take that and incorporate it into your thinking, you can also give /share support and advice with peers, but we/they can't Do anything or provide a fix for a problem , that has to come from within, one of the best forms of support I received was the knowledge and assurance to trust that I had 'it' in me , just had to trust I did and find it and use it.
wish you well and hope to see you around, but you don't get a pass by blaming a site to keep the 'drinks flowin';

JeffreyAK

No one but the drinker keeps the drinks flowin'. The non-drinker takes input from whatever sources help him or her, and tries to ignore the rest. You are in charge of your own addiction recovery, however you choose to pursue it. Maybe that involves religion, maybe not - it sure didn't for me, as a devout atheist.

skywalker91

for boredom: SMART meetings, watch a movie/netflix, spend time with family/friends you lost touch with, make GOALS and do a little each day to achieve them, save up to travel somewhere, order the rational recovery book, read old threads on here and post everyday in any forum (s), read good interesting books like anything from Eckhart Tolle , lift weights or go running or both, go for another degree or take an interesting class, meet up.com