24 Hour Recovery Connections Part 111
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,359
24 Hour Recovery Connections Part 111
Welcome to the New
24 Hour 
Recovery 
Connection.
Please join others in making a commitment to stay
clean and sober for the next 24 Hours.
Check in once a day and every day by posting your local time.
clean and sober for the next 24 Hours.
Check in once a day and every day by posting your local time.
You may post a special message or song or image or your story.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Anyone can volunteer to do something
special for the group.
The last part:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-110-a-21.html
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 778
Hi all
Im in for another 24 hours sober!
Just had an upsetting phone call from my narcissistic mother. I stupidly told her Ive given up drinking for good 9 days ago. I didn't go into details as to why. When I heard it was her I should instantly hung up.
I haven't heard from her in 2 years. We have eachothers phone number, emails etc. 2 years ago after a massive row, I told her to never contact me again.
Next minute she launches in to a "Ive you many times and everybody else in the family that youre a shocking alkie, you cant stay away from it" rant! I said "Arrhhh hang on, I NEVER said Im an alcoholic to you though did I. I just said Ive stopped drinking for good".
There was ABSOLUTELY ZERO support or "Well done, good for you, you can do it". And that's NOT because Ive told her that I have stopped many times before. No, Ive never told her that Ive stopped. She lives on the other side of the planet, and I only ever used to see her once a year. She never knew what I drank, or how much. Whenever she cane over I did restrain immensely and only drink a bottle instead of my usual 2, I wasn't even rolling drunk, but she would say "If you can drink a bottle to yourself youre an alcoholic".
Why did I tell her
. Now she WILL be ringing everybody telling them that I AM an alcoholic, she knew it, she was right etc etc etc.
If she was a normal mother then telling her wouldn't be a problem, it would be a good thing. But because she is an evil narcissist then I usually tell her nothing because she uses it against me.
To her alcoholics are bad people, losers etc. In the past when she would tell me that Im an alcoholic, I would say "Well, IF (emphasis on the IF) I am, then its no wonder, I had a shockingly abusive childhood, and that wouldn't make me a bad person, its a disease". She would say "Ohhhh alcoholics chose to drink, its NOT a disease, what a load of rubbish".
She is the most judgemental and closed minded person I know! Im not exaggerating. I don't know anybody as bad as her.
Im in for another 24 hours sober!
Just had an upsetting phone call from my narcissistic mother. I stupidly told her Ive given up drinking for good 9 days ago. I didn't go into details as to why. When I heard it was her I should instantly hung up.
I haven't heard from her in 2 years. We have eachothers phone number, emails etc. 2 years ago after a massive row, I told her to never contact me again.
Next minute she launches in to a "Ive you many times and everybody else in the family that youre a shocking alkie, you cant stay away from it" rant! I said "Arrhhh hang on, I NEVER said Im an alcoholic to you though did I. I just said Ive stopped drinking for good".
There was ABSOLUTELY ZERO support or "Well done, good for you, you can do it". And that's NOT because Ive told her that I have stopped many times before. No, Ive never told her that Ive stopped. She lives on the other side of the planet, and I only ever used to see her once a year. She never knew what I drank, or how much. Whenever she cane over I did restrain immensely and only drink a bottle instead of my usual 2, I wasn't even rolling drunk, but she would say "If you can drink a bottle to yourself youre an alcoholic".
Why did I tell her
. Now she WILL be ringing everybody telling them that I AM an alcoholic, she knew it, she was right etc etc etc.If she was a normal mother then telling her wouldn't be a problem, it would be a good thing. But because she is an evil narcissist then I usually tell her nothing because she uses it against me.
To her alcoholics are bad people, losers etc. In the past when she would tell me that Im an alcoholic, I would say "Well, IF (emphasis on the IF) I am, then its no wonder, I had a shockingly abusive childhood, and that wouldn't make me a bad person, its a disease". She would say "Ohhhh alcoholics chose to drink, its NOT a disease, what a load of rubbish".
She is the most judgemental and closed minded person I know! Im not exaggerating. I don't know anybody as bad as her.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: New England
Posts: 3,805
Hi Cococo. I found that one of the best things I ever did was tell my mother and my family I had a drinking problem. There was no way I could go at this thing alone. I hope you'll find the support and what you need to make it stick this time. 
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Strailya
Posts: 8,009
Originally Posted by Cococo 
Hi all
Im in for another 24 hours sober!
Just had an upsetting phone call from my narcissistic mother. I stupidly told her Ive given up drinking for good 9 days ago. I didn't go into details as to why. When I heard it was her I should instantly hung up.
I haven't heard from her in 2 years. We have eachothers phone number, emails etc. 2 years ago after a massive row, I told her to never contact me again.
Next minute she launches in to a "Ive you many times and everybody else in the family that youre a shocking alkie, you cant stay away from it" rant! I said "Arrhhh hang on, I NEVER said Im an alcoholic to you though did I. I just said Ive stopped drinking for good".
Why did I tell her. Now she WILL be ringing everybody telling them that I AM an alcoholic, she knew it, she was right etc etc etc.
If she was a normal mother then telling her wouldn't be a problem, it would be a good thing. But because she is an evil narcissist then I usually tell her nothing because she uses it against me.
To her alcoholics are bad people, losers etc. In the past when she would tell me that Im an alcoholic, I would say "Well, IF (emphasis on the IF) I am, then its no wonder, I had a shockingly abusive childhood, and that wouldn't make me a bad person, its a disease". She would say "Ohhhh alcoholics chose to drink, its NOT a disease, what a load of rubbish".
She is the most judgemental and closed minded person I know! Im not exaggerating. I don't know anybody as bad as her.
Im in for another 24 hours sober!
Just had an upsetting phone call from my narcissistic mother. I stupidly told her Ive given up drinking for good 9 days ago. I didn't go into details as to why. When I heard it was her I should instantly hung up.
I haven't heard from her in 2 years. We have eachothers phone number, emails etc. 2 years ago after a massive row, I told her to never contact me again.
Next minute she launches in to a "Ive you many times and everybody else in the family that youre a shocking alkie, you cant stay away from it" rant! I said "Arrhhh hang on, I NEVER said Im an alcoholic to you though did I. I just said Ive stopped drinking for good".
Why did I tell her
. Now she WILL be ringing everybody telling them that I AM an alcoholic, she knew it, she was right etc etc etc.If she was a normal mother then telling her wouldn't be a problem, it would be a good thing. But because she is an evil narcissist then I usually tell her nothing because she uses it against me.
To her alcoholics are bad people, losers etc. In the past when she would tell me that Im an alcoholic, I would say "Well, IF (emphasis on the IF) I am, then its no wonder, I had a shockingly abusive childhood, and that wouldn't make me a bad person, its a disease". She would say "Ohhhh alcoholics chose to drink, its NOT a disease, what a load of rubbish".
She is the most judgemental and closed minded person I know! Im not exaggerating. I don't know anybody as bad as her.
You obviously havent met my mother
For me there is only a few actions I can take with a toxic person; have compassion for their suffering and restrict contact. You can PM me for the website where I have learnt a little about personality disorders and how to treat such poor folks.
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 778
Originally Posted by Arbor
Hi Cococo. I found that one of the best things I ever did was tell my mother and my family I had a drinking problem. There was no way I could go at this thing alone. I hope you'll find the support and what you need to make it stick this time.
I would get ZERO support from her LOL. Never have, never will. She is out for number 1 - narcissist.
Perhaps look up what theyre like.
Any support I get certainly will not be from her. She doesn't do support. But she does do ripping apart and anti-support.
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 778
Originally Posted by Kaneda8888
Hi Coco
You obviously havent met my mother For me there is only a few actions I can take with a toxic person; have compassion for their suffering and restrict contact. You can PM me for the website where I have learnt a little about personality disorders and how to treat such poor folks.
You obviously havent met my mother
For me there is only a few actions I can take with a toxic person; have compassion for their suffering and restrict contact. You can PM me for the website where I have learnt a little about personality disorders and how to treat such poor folks.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 66
The next 24 hours will be only the second 24 hours in some time, but I am going to do it. Nice springy day today in the Midwest. Worked on my garden (one of the only things that brings me true inner peace) for 4 hours.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: New England
Posts: 3,805
Originally Posted by Cococo
She is out for number 1 - narcissist. Perhaps look up what theyre like.
Originally Posted by Cococo
.....but I don't love or care for her at all.
What are you afraid of? That its out in the open now? Could be the best thing for you right now.
Try to find the positive.
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 778
I didn't tell her I was an alcoholic actually. I told her I have stopped drinking. I could be pregnant. I could be training for a marathon. Anything.
I don't care that she knows I've stopped drinking. I wouldn't have told her otherwise.
What I care about is her twisting, turning and manipulating what I told her to suit her own sick agenda.
She will be rubbing her hands together so happy and pleased. That's what bothers me. That I've fed the monster!
There is no positive with her. Never has been. Never will be. The only positive is that it's a reminder that I have to change my phone number. Which I've just done. I did tell her not to contact me again but she rung today. She hasnt respected my request or boundaries. She only rings people to pump them for information she can store, spread and use against them.
I don't care that she knows I've stopped drinking. I wouldn't have told her otherwise.
What I care about is her twisting, turning and manipulating what I told her to suit her own sick agenda.
She will be rubbing her hands together so happy and pleased. That's what bothers me. That I've fed the monster!
There is no positive with her. Never has been. Never will be. The only positive is that it's a reminder that I have to change my phone number. Which I've just done. I did tell her not to contact me again but she rung today. She hasnt respected my request or boundaries. She only rings people to pump them for information she can store, spread and use against them.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Poway, CA
Posts: 1,636
Originally Posted by Cococo
I didn't tell her I was an alcoholic actually. I told her I have stopped drinking. I could be pregnant. I could be training for a marathon. Anything.
I don't care that she knows I've stopped drinking. I wouldn't have told her otherwise.
What I care about is her twisting, turning and manipulating what I told her to suit her own sick agenda.
She will be rubbing her hands together so happy and pleased. That's what bothers me. That I've fed the monster!
There is no positive with her. Never has been. Never will be. The only positive is that it's a reminder that I have to change my phone number. Which I've just done. I did tell her not to contact me again but she rung today. She hasnt respected my request or boundaries. She only rings people to pump them for information she can store, spread and use against them.
I don't care that she knows I've stopped drinking. I wouldn't have told her otherwise.
What I care about is her twisting, turning and manipulating what I told her to suit her own sick agenda.
She will be rubbing her hands together so happy and pleased. That's what bothers me. That I've fed the monster!
There is no positive with her. Never has been. Never will be. The only positive is that it's a reminder that I have to change my phone number. Which I've just done. I did tell her not to contact me again but she rung today. She hasnt respected my request or boundaries. She only rings people to pump them for information she can store, spread and use against them.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,440
Originally Posted by Lolipa
The next 24 hours will be only the second 24 hours in some time, but I am going to do it. Nice springy day today in the Midwest. Worked on my garden (one of the only things that brings me true inner peace) for 4 hours.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,440
(((Cococo))) ♥
Ahh sweetie, I am so sorry your mother is like that.
You have all of OUR support and love, and we are here for you.
I don't have any parents now....I went through heck with mine too though, and now these guys are my family.
I feel very blessed.
So much love, and huge hugs. ♥
Ahh sweetie, I am so sorry your mother is like that.
You have all of OUR support and love, and we are here for you.
I don't have any parents now....I went through heck with mine too though, and now these guys are my family.
I feel very blessed.
So much love, and huge hugs. ♥
2Cor5:17
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Between Doctor's opinion & pg 164
Posts: 4,187
Great job on doing service work Dane! Didn't get to do mine this mth coz Institution rep didn't notify
me & he also switched home groups. Hate it when miss out on it. Congrats celebrants
24 mo
me & he also switched home groups. Hate it when miss out on it. Congrats celebrants
24 mo
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
