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Meds - are they even working?

Old 06-16-2015, 07:37 AM
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Meds - are they even working?

I am taking gabapentin for anxiety and lamictal for mood stabilization and impulse control. My doctor has essentially ruled out bipolar but we have been trying several different medications (SSRIs, mood stabilizers, ADHD medication, etc) without much relief. I am so sick of the constant anxiety, sadness, anger, worry, second guessing, low confidence, low self-esteem, isolation, etc. I wake up with this daily.

I am trying to do the right thing behaviorally by exercising, meditating, reaching out for help, attending therapy, etc. I have a good job, I handle myself ok socially despite being really uncomfortable (shortness of breath like someone is standing on my chest and rarely feeling joy), and I am in overall good physical health.

My point is that I am not handicapped by my emotional and mental struggles. I just do NOT feel right.

So my question is, shouldn’t I feel better if the medication was in fact working? Is it possible that I just don’t realize I feel better or should it be noticeable improvement?
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Old 06-16-2015, 08:03 AM
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As you probably know, we can't give medical advice here. I do know that stopping medication AMA is one of the most dangerous things a person can do. So if you're considering that, please discuss it with your doctor. That being said...

I suffered from panic and anxiety, which stopped me from functioning. I was useless. I healed slowly, over time, but did not go the medication route. I was prescribed meds more than once, had an honest go with them, and ultimately decided that wasn't the path I wanted to take. I didn't want to medicate my anxiety (nor any of my other feelings for that matter), and didn't buy into the chemical imbalance things I was told. I'm now completely functional, don't suffer from panic or depression anymore, and any anxiety I still deal with from time to time is usually for good reason, and completely manageable.

I did all the things you mention in your OP, yet had to continually keep reaching out. I have to admit, I spent a lot of time being uncomfortable, but I feel it paid off. I'd feel a wee bit better with every little change I made, and I had to make many.

The one important thing I noticed you didn't mention was diet. What we eat has a great deal to do with how we feel, though many seem not to believe it. Processed sugar causes me anxiety. As do other processed foods. I eat a mostly plant based diet for the past 10 years and it has made a huge difference in the way I feel. I also learned I have to force myself to drink water. I'm a camel. I can easily go on 8 ounces of water a day. I've learned that drinking 8X that much is essential to my mental, and physical health.

I don't believe anymore that there's a one size fits all solution for panic, anxiety and depression, but I know there are hundreds of tools out there that work. I also believe that we will heal according to our beliefs. I never believed that my mental and emotional issues were something I had to accept for the rest of my life, regardless of how many psychiatrists told me so. And I was right. They were wrong. Had I gone their route, and continued with medication, they would have been right.

Again, all the things you mentioned helped me - along with lots of reading, developing my spiritual life, getting involved in new activities, taking vitamin D supplements (recently discovered I was deficient), doing relaxation exercises regularly, learning to pamper myself (baths, new age music, dates with myself). Even had a go at CBT for a while. I just kind cracked the door open to healing, and lots of things were presented to me. It was up to me however to make use of them. Should mention also that AA and the 12 steps were a huge part of my healing.

And fwiw, coffee is an absolute no-no IMO for anyone suffering from anxiety. IMHO, someone who complains about anxiety while drinking coffee is as sick as an alcoholic who keeps drinking alcohol thinking things are going to get better. I know, because I did both .

Hang in there. It gets better so long as we don't give up. My experience, anyhow.
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Old 06-16-2015, 08:15 AM
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I could have written Joe's post, because every point he makes I have also found to be true.

I just kept looking for solutions without pharmaceuticals. I tried the doctor/drug route but the side effects were too much for me and every doctor had their own spin on what was "wrong" with me, so I devised my own path to healing and it includes everything Joe has mentioned. Each part is important.

The one thing I would add to the regimen he describes that helped me immensely is regular moderate exercise - even a 30 minute walk - every day.

Vitamin D for me was a game-changer. It completely took away that low-level depression I would wake with every morning.

I still drink coffee, but it's half-caf and only two a day. Because coffee.

Turns out there was nothing wrong with me.
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Old 06-16-2015, 08:19 AM
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Originally Posted by biminiblue View Post
I could have written Joe's post, because every point he makes I have also found to be true.

I just kept looking for solutions without pharmaceuticals. I tried the doctor/drug route but the side effects were too much for me so I devised my own path to healing and they include everything Joe has mentioned. Each part is important.

The one thing I would add to the regimen that helped me immensely is regular moderate exercise - even a 30 minute walk - every day.

Vitamin D for me was a game-changer. It completely took away that low-level depression I would wake with every morning.

I still drink coffee, but it's half-caf and only two a day. Because coffee.
LOL. And I could have written that post. Including the coffee part . I pretty much only have one weak cup a day though. A cup of Starbucks I feel would put me in a hospital.
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Old 06-16-2015, 08:31 AM
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Starbucks would have you believe there is less caffeine in a Latte than drip coffee. I buy decaff and regular and blend them together.

When I was newly sober, though, I couldn't drink coffee at all without the crazy anxiety kicking in. Now caffeine doesn't get to me if I'm mindful of how much I have. There is a period of healing, for sure. I drank a lot of herbal tea in early sobriety.

One thing I would add rc4dt1, is that it is common to wake up with anxiety: cortisol production peaks just before we wake. I had a problem with that, too. If first thing in the morning is a time of anxiety, that's when I would exercise. Even 50 jumping jacks will take the edge off that early morning anxiety, I found. Getting control of the start of the day makes a big difference. I also pray or meditate first thing - to set my intentions for the day.
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Old 06-16-2015, 12:59 PM
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Thanks all... yes, I completely understand that the feedback I gather here is not medical advice. I recognize it entirely as you all sharing your experiences, which is all I can ask for.

I do exercise, lifting weights and running 5 or 6 days a week (maybe I will try doing some pushups when I roll out of bed to cope with that early morning dread). I definitely do not eat a lot of junk food but I did just switch from artificial sweetener to sugar for my coffee. I would like to give up the coffee/caffeine but it seems to be the only thing I really look forward to nowadays, really. I suppose I used to say the same thing about drugs/alcohol.... hmm.

I do go to AA and I work the steps with a sponsor. I could increase my number of meetings but I already go to 2 or 3 a week. To be honest, thinking I need to go to more meetings on top of all the other work I am already doing is quite discouraging.

What resonates most is that I need to just keep plugging along, recognizing small victories, patting myself on the back when I do the next right thing, and be grateful for the blessings I have. Maybe it's the addict in me that expects a faster road to happiness or a quick fix.

Thanks again
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Old 06-16-2015, 01:37 PM
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I would be a basket case without running or some other form of exuberant exercise.
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Old 06-16-2015, 03:57 PM
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I struggle with the same thing. I have struggled with anxiety and treating it a million different ways and there's always that question of what else can I do, what haven't I tried yet, and it's so frustrating because I feel like I'm doing everything I can and yet anxiety is cyclical so I even get anxiety worrying about getting anxiety in the future.
This weekend was great and then starting Monday I've been a basket case .
I'm reaching out to my friends for support right now and after posting this am going to go outside for a bit but I feel ya and your pain. We dont have to do this alone.
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Old 06-18-2015, 04:26 AM
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What resonates most is that I need to just keep plugging along, recognizing small victories, patting myself on the back when I do the next right thing, and be grateful for the blessings I have
Me too. I have setbacks in sobriety and in mental wellness, yet I keep on point no matter what. I do recognize my small victories and build upon them. Hope keeps me alive trough the worst to a win.
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