I call BS
voices ca**y
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: St. Paul Minnesota
Posts: 4,359
I call BS
A couple of weeks ago I had a dream I was drinking. Instead of freaking out like I usually do in my dream it was more like knock that off. Didn't think much of it. About a week ago someone was talking about something called fireball. It combines my two favorite things to drink whiskey+sweet cinnamon. I thought kind of sorry I never tried it. Today someone suggested drinking it with Rumchata. I should try just one to see how it tastes. If there had been one in front of my I probably would have drank it. Wait for it.....WHAT.THE.HELL.
There you have it. The mental progression to me thinking I could have one with a seemingly valid excuse.
I have never tried to moderate because honestly if I can't drink to pass out I have no interest in even starting. So the "just one" thing won't work on me...usually. I am perfectly comfortable and have no desire to drink anymore. In fact I want nothing to do with it. I have been through hell off and on dealing with my recovery these past 2 years. I appreciate I got off lucky and if I ever have to do this again it is going to be much harder.
Sneaky ass AV
There you have it. The mental progression to me thinking I could have one with a seemingly valid excuse.
I have never tried to moderate because honestly if I can't drink to pass out I have no interest in even starting. So the "just one" thing won't work on me...usually. I am perfectly comfortable and have no desire to drink anymore. In fact I want nothing to do with it. I have been through hell off and on dealing with my recovery these past 2 years. I appreciate I got off lucky and if I ever have to do this again it is going to be much harder.
Sneaky ass AV
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 8,326
SR! good job on recognizing the AV! Remember, it is there to kill you.
Have you ever had Atomic Fireballs? It's a jawbreaker candy, hot as heck and I bet you can't keep in your mouth five minutes! I get them at most candy shops. Individually wrapped so they keep nice in a pocket or purse!
Love from Lenina
Have you ever had Atomic Fireballs? It's a jawbreaker candy, hot as heck and I bet you can't keep in your mouth five minutes! I get them at most candy shops. Individually wrapped so they keep nice in a pocket or purse!
Love from Lenina
voices ca**y
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: St. Paul Minnesota
Posts: 4,359
I know statistics aren't the end all when it comes to this but at 2 years 40% of people will still relapse. Why? Why would anyone want to go back after knowing what someone 2 years clean knows? It wasn't even a craving that was trying to get me. It was more of a no big deal kind of thing. So I am making a big deal out of it. This will not stand!!!!
Maybe a little fighting music
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jhUkGIsKvn0
Maybe a little fighting music
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jhUkGIsKvn0
Its a cold and its a broken hallelujah.
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,887
That's girl SR. Tell that AV who's boss.
I'd be at two years too, had I not "moderated". Three separate episodes.
We all know where it leads. I'm living proof.
Lenina came up with a GREAT alternative. Yum.
I'd be at two years too, had I not "moderated". Three separate episodes.
We all know where it leads. I'm living proof.
Lenina came up with a GREAT alternative. Yum.
voices ca**y
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: St. Paul Minnesota
Posts: 4,359
Originally Posted by alphaomega 
That's girl SR. Tell that AV who's boss.
I'd be at two years too, had I not "moderated". Three separate episodes.
We all know where it leads. I'm living proof.
Lenina came up with a GREAT alternative. Yum.
I'd be at two years too, had I not "moderated". Three separate episodes.
We all know where it leads. I'm living proof.
Lenina came up with a GREAT alternative. Yum.
Its a cold and its a broken hallelujah.
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,887
Originally Posted by silentrun
You will get there HookerFace. You just won't stay down!
Now, let's make sure we KEEP you THERE. Mkkkk ?
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,042
I honestly don't think it will ever be easy for me to be around hard liquor drinkers. Beer & wine don't bug me, but if I sit within 30 feet of a bar, I'm studying the bottles. And the smell of a familiar drink sets me right off with the head games. Head games start seemingly insignificant, but if the thinking gets reinforced by fantasies or by more exposure, it's easy trouble.
Avoiding people, places & things that make you want to drink is always a good idea.
Avoiding people, places & things that make you want to drink is always a good idea.
voices ca**y
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: St. Paul Minnesota
Posts: 4,359
That's the thing Snarkbunny, I have NO desire to drink. I don't get triggered. I guess that is what they mean about complacency.
AO I found a remake of that song and I am dedicating it to you
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5I2MHj1iDIU
AO I found a remake of that song and I am dedicating it to you
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5I2MHj1iDIU
Not The Way way, Just the way
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: US
Posts: 1,413
Originally Posted by silentrun
I know statistics aren't the end all when it comes to this but at 2 years 40% of people will still relapse. Why?
sr,
Have you considered moving forward from AVRT super light to the real thing by making a Big Plan? I seem to be having a deja vu about asking you this.
As I see it, drinking dreams are a sign of the Beast desperately trying to get creative.
And with full AVRT I found them to be amusing.
GT
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Colorado
Posts: 3,474
As a Wee Bastid, I loved 'Atomic Fireballs'. Hot they be...
Easy for me to tell ya now, but you're not missing much by not having had 'Fireball Whisky'. Kinda harsh. CleverAzz me thought I would smell only of Cinnamon when I was burning through a 1.75 L 'Handle' of it every 3, then 2, days. Actually, you wind up smelling like a serious Drunk who then pops an Atomic Fireball Candy into your Mouth. I also took to eating Cinnamon Candies to attempt Breath Camouflage while Hammered. So many great ideas. So little time.. .-)
I made some lame excuse one morning to go to the Grocery Store. I killed the carefully-dispensed last portion of one Fireball Handle 'Inventoried' in my SUV, and passed out cold in the Grocery Store Parking Lot around 8:15. That would be A.M.. I swallowed by 'Glugs'. 2 or 3 Glugs were to maintain my Stupor. 4 or 5 Glugs were to get pretty high beyond what I already was. After waking from a lil ~45 minute Blackout, I went into the Liquor Store adjacent to buy another Handle. I set it down. The Chinese Gal/Co-Owner suddenly swiped it off the Counter. I was stunned! She said 'We no sell you when you smell like Alcohol'! I mumbled some excuse, and walked out totally Gobsmacked.
One of many Wake-Up Calls in my Final Drinking Daze that added up to this 'Hard Liquor Only' Guy finally taking action to Man Up and Sober Up.
I make a point to recall one thing daily that reminds me of my rampant Drinking Stupidity. Thank you for causing me to recall this Tale. Now, my Daily Recall Quota is complete.
Never again.
-
Easy for me to tell ya now, but you're not missing much by not having had 'Fireball Whisky'. Kinda harsh. CleverAzz me thought I would smell only of Cinnamon when I was burning through a 1.75 L 'Handle' of it every 3, then 2, days. Actually, you wind up smelling like a serious Drunk who then pops an Atomic Fireball Candy into your Mouth. I also took to eating Cinnamon Candies to attempt Breath Camouflage while Hammered. So many great ideas. So little time.. .-)
I made some lame excuse one morning to go to the Grocery Store. I killed the carefully-dispensed last portion of one Fireball Handle 'Inventoried' in my SUV, and passed out cold in the Grocery Store Parking Lot around 8:15. That would be A.M.. I swallowed by 'Glugs'. 2 or 3 Glugs were to maintain my Stupor. 4 or 5 Glugs were to get pretty high beyond what I already was. After waking from a lil ~45 minute Blackout, I went into the Liquor Store adjacent to buy another Handle. I set it down. The Chinese Gal/Co-Owner suddenly swiped it off the Counter. I was stunned! She said 'We no sell you when you smell like Alcohol'! I mumbled some excuse, and walked out totally Gobsmacked.
One of many Wake-Up Calls in my Final Drinking Daze that added up to this 'Hard Liquor Only' Guy finally taking action to Man Up and Sober Up.
I make a point to recall one thing daily that reminds me of my rampant Drinking Stupidity. Thank you for causing me to recall this Tale. Now, my Daily Recall Quota is complete.
Never again.
-
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,042
Originally Posted by silentrun
That's the thing Snarkbunny, I have NO desire to drink. I don't get triggered.
I have NO desire to drink, either. Except when there's a generously poured double Grey Goose not heavy on the rocks about 6 inches from my face and the man holding it has offered me a similar drink not once or twice but three times in the last 10 minutes. That's not a trigger, it's an assault.
But I do know what to do about it.
voices ca**y
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: St. Paul Minnesota
Posts: 4,359
Aw you want me to read? I suppose I should read that book. Recommitting like it was day 1 couldn't hurt. So far I have just been hanging out and picking up parts from everyone.
That's a good idea MesaMan. Actually thinking about how crappy it was being a drunk is what brought me back to reality.
I was hard booze only too. When I started drinking it was zero to a hundred ASAP. I didn't even really enjoy it.
That's a good idea MesaMan. Actually thinking about how crappy it was being a drunk is what brought me back to reality.
I was hard booze only too. When I started drinking it was zero to a hundred ASAP. I didn't even really enjoy it.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 8,326
(((((SnarkBunny)))) I do! You'll always be my snarky bunny and I'll be your crazy assed Lenina .
Good stuff here! I only drank crappy white wine in a large Tupperware tumbler over ice. Lots of ice. That's why the timber had to be extra large. It had to be white wine because I spilled a lot. And it had to be Tupperware because glass broke a lot. And it had to be Sweet white wine because everything else sorta made me gag. Except a certain brandy and that had to be heated and only when I had a cold. And it gagged me too. And made me sick as hell. Nothing like puking through a stuffed up nose.
It was insane and I was insane.
good times. not. Glad I don't live there no more!
Love from LeeLee
Good stuff here! I only drank crappy white wine in a large Tupperware tumbler over ice. Lots of ice. That's why the timber had to be extra large. It had to be white wine because I spilled a lot. And it had to be Tupperware because glass broke a lot. And it had to be Sweet white wine because everything else sorta made me gag. Except a certain brandy and that had to be heated and only when I had a cold. And it gagged me too. And made me sick as hell. Nothing like puking through a stuffed up nose.
It was insane and I was insane.
good times. not. Glad I don't live there no more!
Love from LeeLee
Not The Way way, Just the way
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: US
Posts: 1,413
Originally Posted by GerandTwine
Have you considered moving forward from AVRT super light to the real thing by making a Big Plan?
voices ca**y
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: St. Paul Minnesota
Posts: 4,359
Originally Posted by GerandTwine
At least I didn't give you an "answer that can't be questioned".
CAL, I bought a box of wine once(no shame in my wine game). I ended up using it as a mixer for whiskey.
Not The Way way, Just the way
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: US
Posts: 1,413
Originally Posted by silentrun
No fear.
CAL, I bought a box of wine once(no shame in my wine game). I ended up using it as a mixer for whiskey.
CAL, I bought a box of wine once(no shame in my wine game). I ended up using it as a mixer for whiskey.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 1,183
Thoughts are just thoughts, it's actions that matter. 
But for me, I've understood for a long time that complacency is my enemy, not my AV/A/reptile/etc. The notion that, one day in the foggy future that is beyond the range of my crystal ball, I might think "what the hell, I wonder what this will do to me" or something similar, and take a drink. Which is why I still convene a weekly support group meeting, go to my old medical treatment program walk-in group a couple times a year to say hi, and hang out in places like this - not because I need it to stay sober, but to try to give something back and so I don't forget.
But for me, I've understood for a long time that complacency is my enemy, not my AV/A/reptile/etc. The notion that, one day in the foggy future that is beyond the range of my crystal ball, I might think "what the hell, I wonder what this will do to me" or something similar, and take a drink. Which is why I still convene a weekly support group meeting, go to my old medical treatment program walk-in group a couple times a year to say hi, and hang out in places like this - not because I need it to stay sober, but to try to give something back and so I don't forget.
Not The Way way, Just the way
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: US
Posts: 1,413
Originally Posted by JeffreyAK
Thoughts are just thoughts, it's actions that matter.
But for me, I've understood for a long time that complacency is my enemy, not my AV/A/reptile/etc. The notion that, one day in the foggy future that is beyond the range of my crystal ball, I might think "what the hell, I wonder what this will do to me" or something similar, and take a drink. Which is why I still convene a weekly support group meeting, go to my old medical treatment program walk-in group a couple times a year to say hi, and hang out in places like this - not because I need it to stay sober, but to try to give something back and so I don't forget.
But for me, I've understood for a long time that complacency is my enemy, not my AV/A/reptile/etc. The notion that, one day in the foggy future that is beyond the range of my crystal ball, I might think "what the hell, I wonder what this will do to me" or something similar, and take a drink. Which is why I still convene a weekly support group meeting, go to my old medical treatment program walk-in group a couple times a year to say hi, and hang out in places like this - not because I need it to stay sober, but to try to give something back and so I don't forget.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
