My 5 months of hell , could it be PAWs?
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Join Date: Feb 2015
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My 5 months of hell , could it be PAWs?
My story , please help
I'm 41, I'm a dj that plays most nights to over 1000 people up and down the uk.
I've also been drinking very heavy for about 20 years .
Durning the last few months of 2014 my drinkin became very very heavy , some nights I would black out other nights I would down a bottle of vodka to help me sleep .
Then I decided to stop , I quit cold turkey and 2 days later driving home from my club I felt a massive rush of electric come on suddenly over my body , my legs went to jelly and I almost crashed the car .
I managed to pull over , I was shaking , my heart was racing and I thought I was having a stroke or heart attack. I called the ambalance and was rushed to A&e .
Dr then did a CT scan than come back fine and then said I even tho I was very dizzy I could go home .
This was then just the start of my hell
I booked 2 weeks off work and during that time I had multiple panic attacks ,huge anxiety disorders and just the worst buzzing feelings from my head , I was a mess .
I then on the 3rd week tryed going back to work but my physical anxiety was so bad I was not being able to function, I was dizzy , sweats , cold hands , neck ache etc.
I then booked into see my doctor who put me on an ssri .
My reaction was so bad to that I ended up back in A&e .
Then went back to doctors and he gave me another ssri called citalopram, I started off low dose and built up , even before I got to the set doesage I had a bad reaction and developed a buzzing in my head ( tinnitus ) that I still have now .
Then I actully had a good week in jan when I felt ok again , I even had a few beers ,, what a mistake that was , the alcohol seemed to effect my body terrible like I was allergic to it
I can no longer drink any it make me feel not write .
Then all the symptoms came back on , anxiety , headaches , dizzy spells etc but this time I had depression to the list , I'd wake up crying my eyes out
So just as I thought it couldn't get worse I then developed insomnia , I went 4 nights with no sleep at all I was a mess .
Dr gave me Zopiclone but even tho it worked Id find the day after taking it id have the worst reaction possible , all my symptoms would be 10 times worse .
I stopped taking it .
Still could not sleep so tryed nytol , that had the same reaction as Zopiclone, so then night nurse , the same , I can not take any ssri or sleeping drugs . It's even if my brain is healing and the drugs are making it worse
I'm now 5 months after first attack and have all but quit my life long dj jobs , I can't sleep , I wake up with a foggy head and that leads to depression and anxiety . It's like somthing switches on in my head that makes me feel mental and worthless , it also gives me a slight head ache .
I also can't socialize with anybody , I get very nervous when my dog barks , tv is hard to watch somtimes .
Please what is happening , have I got paws ? If so why does my brain react so bad to head medication ???
Sorry about my writing ive never been that good at this
I'm 41, I'm a dj that plays most nights to over 1000 people up and down the uk.
I've also been drinking very heavy for about 20 years .
Durning the last few months of 2014 my drinkin became very very heavy , some nights I would black out other nights I would down a bottle of vodka to help me sleep .
Then I decided to stop , I quit cold turkey and 2 days later driving home from my club I felt a massive rush of electric come on suddenly over my body , my legs went to jelly and I almost crashed the car .
I managed to pull over , I was shaking , my heart was racing and I thought I was having a stroke or heart attack. I called the ambalance and was rushed to A&e .
Dr then did a CT scan than come back fine and then said I even tho I was very dizzy I could go home .
This was then just the start of my hell
I booked 2 weeks off work and during that time I had multiple panic attacks ,huge anxiety disorders and just the worst buzzing feelings from my head , I was a mess .
I then on the 3rd week tryed going back to work but my physical anxiety was so bad I was not being able to function, I was dizzy , sweats , cold hands , neck ache etc.
I then booked into see my doctor who put me on an ssri .
My reaction was so bad to that I ended up back in A&e .
Then went back to doctors and he gave me another ssri called citalopram, I started off low dose and built up , even before I got to the set doesage I had a bad reaction and developed a buzzing in my head ( tinnitus ) that I still have now .
Then I actully had a good week in jan when I felt ok again , I even had a few beers ,, what a mistake that was , the alcohol seemed to effect my body terrible like I was allergic to it
I can no longer drink any it make me feel not write .
Then all the symptoms came back on , anxiety , headaches , dizzy spells etc but this time I had depression to the list , I'd wake up crying my eyes out
So just as I thought it couldn't get worse I then developed insomnia , I went 4 nights with no sleep at all I was a mess .
Dr gave me Zopiclone but even tho it worked Id find the day after taking it id have the worst reaction possible , all my symptoms would be 10 times worse .
I stopped taking it .
Still could not sleep so tryed nytol , that had the same reaction as Zopiclone, so then night nurse , the same , I can not take any ssri or sleeping drugs . It's even if my brain is healing and the drugs are making it worse
I'm now 5 months after first attack and have all but quit my life long dj jobs , I can't sleep , I wake up with a foggy head and that leads to depression and anxiety . It's like somthing switches on in my head that makes me feel mental and worthless , it also gives me a slight head ache .
I also can't socialize with anybody , I get very nervous when my dog barks , tv is hard to watch somtimes .
Please what is happening , have I got paws ? If so why does my brain react so bad to head medication ???
Sorry about my writing ive never been that good at this
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 2,937
I think perhaps its worth another trip to your GP, maybe asking to be referred to a specialist at a hospital.
I think mentioning that this is having a big impact on your quality of life to the GP would help as would mentioning the tinnitus still being an issue.
You deserve better than to be anxious and jumpy at home and not socialise with friends.
Maybe an ENT specialist could help with the head buzzing noise?
I don't know lots about PAWS, I'm sorry.
However I do know that I cannot take anything like night nurse or cough mixture to make me drowsy as the anxiety the next day is hideous. Like a hangover type anxiety. I also feel 'drunk' from it and under the influence, even though they probably contain smaller amounts of alcohol than I would be used to with drinking.
I have taken an SSRI for a number of years.
I did find it difficult at first in terms of side effects, but I persevered with the tablets and eventually felt better.
With drinking, it caused me horrific anxiety.
Awful, awful anxiety I would not wish upon anyone.
In the end the few hours of pleasure it brought was not worth the next 7 days of hating myself.
A lot of time I never even remembered the good times as I had blacked out. Made the days of torture even less worthwhile of putting up with.
Drink is a depressant.
I think people under estimate how low it can make you.
Most people think of having a few drinks as a laugh, a way to relax.
For me it was the total opposite.
Drink made me hate myself more than I could imagine.
Maybe at the moment your focus needs to be getting yourself back on an even keel and not even thinking about drinking until you get close to it.
I hope others can be along soon to help you out.
I wish you the best.
xx
I think mentioning that this is having a big impact on your quality of life to the GP would help as would mentioning the tinnitus still being an issue.
You deserve better than to be anxious and jumpy at home and not socialise with friends.
Maybe an ENT specialist could help with the head buzzing noise?
I don't know lots about PAWS, I'm sorry.
However I do know that I cannot take anything like night nurse or cough mixture to make me drowsy as the anxiety the next day is hideous. Like a hangover type anxiety. I also feel 'drunk' from it and under the influence, even though they probably contain smaller amounts of alcohol than I would be used to with drinking.
I have taken an SSRI for a number of years.
I did find it difficult at first in terms of side effects, but I persevered with the tablets and eventually felt better.
With drinking, it caused me horrific anxiety.
Awful, awful anxiety I would not wish upon anyone.
In the end the few hours of pleasure it brought was not worth the next 7 days of hating myself.
A lot of time I never even remembered the good times as I had blacked out. Made the days of torture even less worthwhile of putting up with.
Drink is a depressant.
I think people under estimate how low it can make you.
Most people think of having a few drinks as a laugh, a way to relax.
For me it was the total opposite.
Drink made me hate myself more than I could imagine.
Maybe at the moment your focus needs to be getting yourself back on an even keel and not even thinking about drinking until you get close to it.
I hope others can be along soon to help you out.
I wish you the best.
xx
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 109
Yes I have booked back in to see a specialist soon , my life has gone from so good to so bad.
I dont want to see my friends and I cant work . My head is a mess , everyday I think what will happen next .
The worst is the feeling of pressure in my head that makes me depressed and crying loads ,,I'm a 41 man I haven't cryed since a child , now I cant stop
Has years of binge drinking really done all this
I dont want to see my friends and I cant work . My head is a mess , everyday I think what will happen next .
The worst is the feeling of pressure in my head that makes me depressed and crying loads ,,I'm a 41 man I haven't cryed since a child , now I cant stop
Has years of binge drinking really done all this
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 109
Stress as well , I can't handle any stress even a trip to the shop my stress levels go 10 times higher than normal ! It's like my brain is actully hurting when I get stressed I have to shake my head and sit down
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 2,937
It does not matter what has caused it hun.
You may never know what has caused it.
What matters is you get the best treatment and you get better.
Thats all you need to concentrate on.
In my experience, which is probably not vast, many people who seem to struggle with anxiety and depression, find it comes on quickly.
Who know's if this was always going to happen to you?
Even if you had been completely tea total and health obsessed it might always have been in your DNA that this was going to happen.
Honestly, it does not matter and there is no blame.
Worrying and stress can cause a HUGE strain on our bodies and how they function.
Its time to forget the cause and look for the cure.
If that means staying away from booze, then thats what you have to do.
But honestly, relentlessly going over what did I do, what did I drink, did I cause it, am I to blame helps nothing.
Keep coming here and reading and post away.
There are many who can probably understand and empathise with what you are dealing with now.
You may never know what has caused it.
What matters is you get the best treatment and you get better.
Thats all you need to concentrate on.
In my experience, which is probably not vast, many people who seem to struggle with anxiety and depression, find it comes on quickly.
Who know's if this was always going to happen to you?
Even if you had been completely tea total and health obsessed it might always have been in your DNA that this was going to happen.
Honestly, it does not matter and there is no blame.
Worrying and stress can cause a HUGE strain on our bodies and how they function.
Its time to forget the cause and look for the cure.
If that means staying away from booze, then thats what you have to do.
But honestly, relentlessly going over what did I do, what did I drink, did I cause it, am I to blame helps nothing.
Keep coming here and reading and post away.
There are many who can probably understand and empathise with what you are dealing with now.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 2,937
The other point I forgot to mention is about HALT.
Here we used it to understand that if we get too Hungry, Angry, Lonely or tired it can lead to drinking of thoughts of drinking.
Why not put all your effort into trying to rest, trying to eat the best you can and getting all your vitamins and minerals and maybe meeting with a friend to see if that helps?
Going from a being at home alone to being the life and soul of the party might be a bit much for you now, but I know myself a text, a phone call, a coffee or lunch with a friend can work wonders. Sort of distracts me for a while and gets me out of my own head for a while too!
Here we used it to understand that if we get too Hungry, Angry, Lonely or tired it can lead to drinking of thoughts of drinking.
Why not put all your effort into trying to rest, trying to eat the best you can and getting all your vitamins and minerals and maybe meeting with a friend to see if that helps?
Going from a being at home alone to being the life and soul of the party might be a bit much for you now, but I know myself a text, a phone call, a coffee or lunch with a friend can work wonders. Sort of distracts me for a while and gets me out of my own head for a while too!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Southern Oregon U.S.
Posts: 1,023
My PAWS period was no fun either. Just wasn't thinking or feeling right. Stick with it and tough it out buddy. You'll start feeling like yourself soon. Good nutrition and exercise will help.
-Ted
-Ted
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 109
The worst part of paws is that I can't handle any stress at all ,,, put me in a stressful situation my head goes all funny and I feel sick it's a strange feeling that's hard to discribe.
Like a pressure dizzy feeling in my head
Like a pressure dizzy feeling in my head
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Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 46
Malamute,
Sounds like textbook anxiety to me down to your very last symptom. Most people have different names for that "funny, pressure" feeling in the head that you describe. One book I have calls it "bewilderment." There might also be dizziness, ringing in the ears, nausea, and a feelings of hopelessness.
Regardless, it is extremely unpleasant. Like you, I cannot even watch TV, as you say, it's like the sights and sounds are overwhelming at times and I can't focus my mind or my eyes. Feeling jumpy, startled, or stressed when you hear a sudden loud sound (like your dog barking), or at the thought of having to go to the grocery store is another common symptom.
Most people don't realize that they can have their first panic attack once they are older. Mine didn't really start until I was over 30 years old. Hope this helps.
ETA: "head-meds" like SSRIs and sleep-aids are not really designed to deal with acute anxiety. And they will probably make you feel as you described. Benzodiazepines can offer relief, but they are very addictive as they target the same "calming receptors" that alcohol does.
Sounds like textbook anxiety to me down to your very last symptom. Most people have different names for that "funny, pressure" feeling in the head that you describe. One book I have calls it "bewilderment." There might also be dizziness, ringing in the ears, nausea, and a feelings of hopelessness.
Regardless, it is extremely unpleasant. Like you, I cannot even watch TV, as you say, it's like the sights and sounds are overwhelming at times and I can't focus my mind or my eyes. Feeling jumpy, startled, or stressed when you hear a sudden loud sound (like your dog barking), or at the thought of having to go to the grocery store is another common symptom.
Most people don't realize that they can have their first panic attack once they are older. Mine didn't really start until I was over 30 years old. Hope this helps.
ETA: "head-meds" like SSRIs and sleep-aids are not really designed to deal with acute anxiety. And they will probably make you feel as you described. Benzodiazepines can offer relief, but they are very addictive as they target the same "calming receptors" that alcohol does.
Last edited by raul88; 03-13-2015 at 05:49 AM. Reason: adding more information
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Location: DFW area, Texas
Posts: 521
Sounds like my experience...although you've had a lot more intensity. I'm also 5 months sober and have had horrible experience with PAWS such as dizziness, wobbliness (feel like I'm going to fall down), anxiety and uneven energy levels. Funny how you said you shake you head sometimes; I do that too. What I will say is that, while its been a slow process, I've made steady progress from those horrible symptoms. They are still around at times, but much more manageable.
I'm taking Lexapro and Buspar (anti-anxiety med), and Trazodone to help me sleep.
I'm taking Lexapro and Buspar (anti-anxiety med), and Trazodone to help me sleep.
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Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: DFW area, Texas
Posts: 521
I forgot to say, I could hardly watch TV either, my nervous system was so sensitive. The key thing for me was to get sleep which had been so elusive for the first 2.5 months I quit. I was actually hospitalized for severe depression and anxiety because of the lack of sleep. Alcohol totally messed up your neurotransmitters and it takes a while to get those back into a state of homeostasis.
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Thanks for your replies , in a horrible way it makes me feel not alone and better knowing other people are having the same problems .
I've just been to the doctors again and he was giving me the impression I was wasting his time. He said that the alchole problems are only for the first 2 weeks after stopping and paws don't exist.
Yes he said all of my symptoms are anxiety but I know paws is what I'm going through.
So many people can't be wrong, so many people discuss paws , it has to be that.
Today I've had a better day , first almost ok day in months I hope there's more to come .
I do have extreme energy levels tho.
I can see why Plure was in hospital for lack of sleep , I've had bad bouts of insomia over the last month , so bad I didn't sleep for almost a week with high depression and anxiety .
I hope your sleep is better now .
As for drinking I'm staying away from the stuff , im disappointed in myself for having a week of night nurse 3 weeks ago not knowing it contains alcohol . I've stopped taking it now but feel it has reset my paws healing to day 1 .. I hope not
I've just been to the doctors again and he was giving me the impression I was wasting his time. He said that the alchole problems are only for the first 2 weeks after stopping and paws don't exist.
Yes he said all of my symptoms are anxiety but I know paws is what I'm going through.
So many people can't be wrong, so many people discuss paws , it has to be that.
Today I've had a better day , first almost ok day in months I hope there's more to come .
I do have extreme energy levels tho.
I can see why Plure was in hospital for lack of sleep , I've had bad bouts of insomia over the last month , so bad I didn't sleep for almost a week with high depression and anxiety .
I hope your sleep is better now .
As for drinking I'm staying away from the stuff , im disappointed in myself for having a week of night nurse 3 weeks ago not knowing it contains alcohol . I've stopped taking it now but feel it has reset my paws healing to day 1 .. I hope not
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Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 46
your doctor is horrible! I remember going to a hospital after not being able to sleep almost 3 days, very sick with anxiety that would not subside. I was exhausted from doing breathing exercises and reading self-help books. The doctor would not even see me, he sent a nurse that told me to "go home and take a warm bath."
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Oh today as been not as good as Yesturday, I woke feeling so so exhausted and depressed
, then I felt dizzy like the first part of a mild panic attack , went And had a tearful 10 mins .
Still managed to walk the dog for 4 miles and felt better but then on the way home at the garage got all dizzy and stressed out while in the que waiting to pay ..
, then I felt dizzy like the first part of a mild panic attack , went And had a tearful 10 mins .
Still managed to walk the dog for 4 miles and felt better but then on the way home at the garage got all dizzy and stressed out while in the que waiting to pay ..
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 369
I have very similar symptoms. Had 73 days then slipped yesterday. Mostly to to constant anxiety. From what I read it's probably from damage to GABA recepters in our brains from years of alcohol abuse. They will heal on their own but it can take time. Up to a year. Your brain isn't making the chemicals it needs to stay calm and adrenalin is just running riot unchecked in your system.
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Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: PA
Posts: 55
I didn't drink nearly to the extent that you did, but I suffer from the same symptoms. I'm a college age kid who's had to drop out of school & lost my job because I honestly cannot function. Anxiety levels sky high, brain fog, memory difficulty, insomnia, extreme fatigue, headaches, dizziness, almost fainting/passing out frequently, tachycardia....the list goes on and on. My doctor put me on lexapro which was hell for the first 2 weeks, and I'm still getting tests done to rule out anything "serious". I'm also on some benzos for the anxiety and insomnia and they do work wonders, but its sort of a slippery slope, at least that's what I'm finding in my own experience. I'm sorry your doctor has been less than helpful. Hopefully it gets better for us. And get a second opinion if you think it'd be helpful. I switched doctors cuz my original Dr. wasn't taking me seriously. Congrats on your five months, stick to the path.
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