Can't motivate/do anything outside of work - what is it?
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Nottingham UK
Posts: 241
Can't motivate/do anything outside of work - what is it?
Depression, Schizoaffective, Anxiety? What?
I work 12 hour days on a 4 on/4 off rota. I have no problem going to work. But my 4 days off, when theoretically i have time to do so many different things, nothing happens. And i really do mean nothing.
I live alone so theoretically have few demands on my time, no kids, no wife/gf, family, no pets to take care of. Yet most days, eating a meal, getting dressed, showering are all i manage , and not all together - they get dragged out over the course of the whole day, and each task feels like moving a mountain... hours and hours spent willing myself to take each tiny step.
My first day off, i feel tired after the 4 days at work. I won't have gotten much sleep the last few days, so it's understandable. I'm so tired i can't resist an afternoon nap, wake up groggy from that, but then find it hard to sleep and go bed late that night. Then i wake up early, the normal time i get up for work, and feel tired because i've only slept 6 hours. Days 2 and 3 i force myself to stay awake in the afternoon.
Even if some miracle happens and i get 8 hours every night, by day two/three guilt and anxiety about having done nothing yesterday, which makes it harder to contemplate housework, personal admin etc. even if wasn't feeling tired.
So i just sit there, bored, fighting the urge to sleep , mindlessly surfing the internet, trying to screw up enough resolve to do a tiny task like, getting dressed, or going out to buy some more Corn Flakes/taking the bins out/recycling my many bottles of Pespi Max.
I've had blood tests, came back good. Still waiting on a sleep study for sleep apnea - long waiting lists.
What is stopping me from getting things done, both chores and things i might find potentially rewarding? Well i've already covered that pervasive sleepy feeling. There's also general anxiety about the task. Somehow, tasks trigger panicky thoughts about other stuff in my life that should be done. I also am just feeling an overwhelming instinct to hunker down and hide which makes no sense. I want to take the bins out, or fetch some tools from the shed for another job, but can hear my neighbours clattering around and slamming doors, for some reason i feel anxiety about running into them.
I've actually been like this a long whiles, since my teens, but had coping strategies that worked. I'd build a daily routine, so that tasks happen automatically, and i'd tweak that routine to find what is likely to work best for my indivdual biorhythms. Generally alternating mental with physical tasks, putting small rewards between each, and timing stuff for the peaks in my circadian rhythm. It's a lot easier to do something by habit then it is to force yourself out of inactivity for individual ad-hoc tasks.
Also, a "virtuous cycle" would build up. I'd wake up full of anxiety/feeling hopeless about the day ahead, accomplish something small and easy, which would give me confidence/calmness to tackle something larger, and so on. It seems to have broken down though. When i eventually force myself to do something, whereas before, this would usually lead to a breaking of the cycle of inertia, and me going on a home run of task completions the rest of the day, when i'm doing a task i seem to feel more anxiety from being forced to think about it, than i benefit in terms of sense of accomplishment. I also feel worn out and drained emotionally afterward, and i'm likely to do nothing else for hours later, or end up having another nap.
I'm forty now and things have been like this for pretty much the past 8 years, in the out of control sense. It's really pertinent atm because i've been told to use up some of my holiday allowance at work, and have a whole week off. The rate things are going, i'm going to waste the whole damn lot.
A couple of years ago, i thought it might be depression, got some Fluoxetine (Prozac). Now, i've heard these things take a while to have any effect.. for me it was kind of the opposite. I got an immediate buzz like a "summer morning" feeling (and yes, it can't be coincidence that the 3 times i've sought help over it have always been winter months) and most of the time this propelled me into some kind of activity. Occasionally the habits they kicked off, were long term. I only took them for one month, but i kept going to the gym every day for two years as a result of that initial dose.
But generally things started to fall back into the bad old ways within a fortnight. It was kind of different though... instead of being anxious and unmotivated, i just felt fuzzy and unmotivated and a little more contented.
I wonder if i should go back to doctor and ask for meds again, but this time try something other than fluoxetine... everyone's brain chemistry is different, and honestly these things feel a little sedating.. which is the very last thing i need.
My only frame of reference is taking "club/rave" drugs back in the 1990s. My friends loved serotonin boosting "ecstacy" tablets, and would dance, talk , party nonstop for 24 hours straight on them , skipping a night's sleep entirely. If I tried to take those things, i'd just "mong out" as we used to call it. Spend the whole night in an untidy heap on the floor, no dancing or talking. I'm not sure if the sensation was pleasant or not because i didn't really remember much. I tended to prefer straight-up amphetamines since i could at least participate in events and remember them, though i'd still end up retiring to bed an sleeping a few hours regardless, while my friends motored on.
Not that i'm advocating drug abuse in any way, but it's just an example of how people's brain chemistry differs and people experience the same thing differently. Prozac , to me , feels like a milder MDMA hit, somewhat pleasant but tending to make me "mong out" as the dose builds up.
I work 12 hour days on a 4 on/4 off rota. I have no problem going to work. But my 4 days off, when theoretically i have time to do so many different things, nothing happens. And i really do mean nothing.
I live alone so theoretically have few demands on my time, no kids, no wife/gf, family, no pets to take care of. Yet most days, eating a meal, getting dressed, showering are all i manage , and not all together - they get dragged out over the course of the whole day, and each task feels like moving a mountain... hours and hours spent willing myself to take each tiny step.
My first day off, i feel tired after the 4 days at work. I won't have gotten much sleep the last few days, so it's understandable. I'm so tired i can't resist an afternoon nap, wake up groggy from that, but then find it hard to sleep and go bed late that night. Then i wake up early, the normal time i get up for work, and feel tired because i've only slept 6 hours. Days 2 and 3 i force myself to stay awake in the afternoon.
Even if some miracle happens and i get 8 hours every night, by day two/three guilt and anxiety about having done nothing yesterday, which makes it harder to contemplate housework, personal admin etc. even if wasn't feeling tired.
So i just sit there, bored, fighting the urge to sleep , mindlessly surfing the internet, trying to screw up enough resolve to do a tiny task like, getting dressed, or going out to buy some more Corn Flakes/taking the bins out/recycling my many bottles of Pespi Max.
I've had blood tests, came back good. Still waiting on a sleep study for sleep apnea - long waiting lists.
What is stopping me from getting things done, both chores and things i might find potentially rewarding? Well i've already covered that pervasive sleepy feeling. There's also general anxiety about the task. Somehow, tasks trigger panicky thoughts about other stuff in my life that should be done. I also am just feeling an overwhelming instinct to hunker down and hide which makes no sense. I want to take the bins out, or fetch some tools from the shed for another job, but can hear my neighbours clattering around and slamming doors, for some reason i feel anxiety about running into them.
I've actually been like this a long whiles, since my teens, but had coping strategies that worked. I'd build a daily routine, so that tasks happen automatically, and i'd tweak that routine to find what is likely to work best for my indivdual biorhythms. Generally alternating mental with physical tasks, putting small rewards between each, and timing stuff for the peaks in my circadian rhythm. It's a lot easier to do something by habit then it is to force yourself out of inactivity for individual ad-hoc tasks.
Also, a "virtuous cycle" would build up. I'd wake up full of anxiety/feeling hopeless about the day ahead, accomplish something small and easy, which would give me confidence/calmness to tackle something larger, and so on. It seems to have broken down though. When i eventually force myself to do something, whereas before, this would usually lead to a breaking of the cycle of inertia, and me going on a home run of task completions the rest of the day, when i'm doing a task i seem to feel more anxiety from being forced to think about it, than i benefit in terms of sense of accomplishment. I also feel worn out and drained emotionally afterward, and i'm likely to do nothing else for hours later, or end up having another nap.
I'm forty now and things have been like this for pretty much the past 8 years, in the out of control sense. It's really pertinent atm because i've been told to use up some of my holiday allowance at work, and have a whole week off. The rate things are going, i'm going to waste the whole damn lot.
A couple of years ago, i thought it might be depression, got some Fluoxetine (Prozac). Now, i've heard these things take a while to have any effect.. for me it was kind of the opposite. I got an immediate buzz like a "summer morning" feeling (and yes, it can't be coincidence that the 3 times i've sought help over it have always been winter months) and most of the time this propelled me into some kind of activity. Occasionally the habits they kicked off, were long term. I only took them for one month, but i kept going to the gym every day for two years as a result of that initial dose.
But generally things started to fall back into the bad old ways within a fortnight. It was kind of different though... instead of being anxious and unmotivated, i just felt fuzzy and unmotivated and a little more contented.
I wonder if i should go back to doctor and ask for meds again, but this time try something other than fluoxetine... everyone's brain chemistry is different, and honestly these things feel a little sedating.. which is the very last thing i need.
My only frame of reference is taking "club/rave" drugs back in the 1990s. My friends loved serotonin boosting "ecstacy" tablets, and would dance, talk , party nonstop for 24 hours straight on them , skipping a night's sleep entirely. If I tried to take those things, i'd just "mong out" as we used to call it. Spend the whole night in an untidy heap on the floor, no dancing or talking. I'm not sure if the sensation was pleasant or not because i didn't really remember much. I tended to prefer straight-up amphetamines since i could at least participate in events and remember them, though i'd still end up retiring to bed an sleeping a few hours regardless, while my friends motored on.
Not that i'm advocating drug abuse in any way, but it's just an example of how people's brain chemistry differs and people experience the same thing differently. Prozac , to me , feels like a milder MDMA hit, somewhat pleasant but tending to make me "mong out" as the dose builds up.
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Sonoran Desert & Southeast Asia
Posts: 6,561
I also have motivation issues. I can be so lazy at times. Work wasn't too bad (very technical), although I was always a procrastinator.. but hard to get stuff done at home. Projects and all that just sit. Lots of lists, and always seem to need a deadline. I also get a lot of anxiety about it, and that overwhelmed feeling. And guilt.
I can't give you the answer. I retired early a couple years ago and still couldn't get much done, even with all the free time, so I packed up my stuff, rented the house, and started traveling. I'm learning to identify all the ego talk, the inner critic, the guilt feelings.. and practice mindfulness.
It seems to me that part of it is simply a result of my particular personality - high anxiety, easily frustrated/overwhelmed, and tendency toward perfectionism. From a dysfunctional childhood. All which lead to procrastination, to avoid the pain. There's also the ego talk - comparing myself to others, the inner critic, etc. Not being happy with myself.
Ultimately I just found space to work on myself and chill - I'm currently in SE Asia. Things are different here and I'm learning to be more mindful and happy in the moment. Take things slow, get something done every day, help my gf and her son, ride my bike. Trying to accept myself as I am. Maybe your situation just isn't right.
I know, weird answer, but I had to go with it. Cheers.
I can't give you the answer. I retired early a couple years ago and still couldn't get much done, even with all the free time, so I packed up my stuff, rented the house, and started traveling. I'm learning to identify all the ego talk, the inner critic, the guilt feelings.. and practice mindfulness.
It seems to me that part of it is simply a result of my particular personality - high anxiety, easily frustrated/overwhelmed, and tendency toward perfectionism. From a dysfunctional childhood. All which lead to procrastination, to avoid the pain. There's also the ego talk - comparing myself to others, the inner critic, etc. Not being happy with myself.
Ultimately I just found space to work on myself and chill - I'm currently in SE Asia. Things are different here and I'm learning to be more mindful and happy in the moment. Take things slow, get something done every day, help my gf and her son, ride my bike. Trying to accept myself as I am. Maybe your situation just isn't right.
I know, weird answer, but I had to go with it. Cheers.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Nottingham UK
Posts: 241
Mindfulness yes, that concept does ring a bell.
I really want to reply to this, but my head feels like pea soup today. Bad night's sleep maybe.
As a problem it's been in remission most of the last twenty years, but it's reared it's ugly head again the past few. It reminds me so much of the last time it was a major problem in my life, when i was studying for the age 18 exams we do in the UK (A levels). So much so that i keep having bad dreams and flashbacks of those days.
The problem then , as was now, was that i absolutely desperately wanted to get certain things done, but for whatever reason i dind't, and the only method i used was to try "force" myself, to "will" myself harder and keep exaggerating the importance of the task and telling myself it was life or death to do it etc. This just piles up more stress and makes the procrastination roadblock stronger. The key seems to be to get yourself to do stuff despite the roadblock, without using brute force. Well that's where the sorcery comes in.
The previous episode of procrastinatis, was towards the end of my time living at home with AM, things had gotten worse in the home environment, though i find it hard to see why the two should be directly linked. Maybe it's just something that gets worse when i'm stressed or depressed, which must mean i am stressed or depressed now. It's hard to tell though , maybe because things have been like this a few years, or maybe i squish my feelings like ACA tend to.
Back in the early 90s, when i was trying to do school. I'd procrasinate procrastinate and not study for a couple days, sitting in bedroom with nothing else to do but still somehow not studying. And i liked the subjects too, that was what made it wierd. I'd try brute force it, tell myself what a bad person i was for not studying, how i was ruining my life prospects, letting the family down etc and get very gloomy and anxious.
Then when i finally did manage to drag myself to my books, i'd go to the other extreme. I'd feel elated over every completed assignment, study obesssively and cram with every available waking hour. Then after a couple of days, exhausted, i'd fail to pick up my books one morning and the cycle would start again. Over the course of my A levels the pattern intesified, by the end i suspected myself to have bipolar disorder.
The delusional highs , when i was studying, were ridiculous.
Well, after flunking those exams i had to learn my coping strategies, so i could eventually resit. But tbh, once i left home, i became a rather organised person and it wasn't even an issue that needed to be managed for most of the next 14 years.
But recently my ACA chickens came home to roost and I ended up going no contact. I guess that's what's stressing me out and causing the current outbreak, but i cannot control my Mum, her drinking or mental health issues. I need to learn to function in spite of all this - plenty of people do.
I really want to reply to this, but my head feels like pea soup today. Bad night's sleep maybe.
As a problem it's been in remission most of the last twenty years, but it's reared it's ugly head again the past few. It reminds me so much of the last time it was a major problem in my life, when i was studying for the age 18 exams we do in the UK (A levels). So much so that i keep having bad dreams and flashbacks of those days.
The problem then , as was now, was that i absolutely desperately wanted to get certain things done, but for whatever reason i dind't, and the only method i used was to try "force" myself, to "will" myself harder and keep exaggerating the importance of the task and telling myself it was life or death to do it etc. This just piles up more stress and makes the procrastination roadblock stronger. The key seems to be to get yourself to do stuff despite the roadblock, without using brute force. Well that's where the sorcery comes in.
The previous episode of procrastinatis, was towards the end of my time living at home with AM, things had gotten worse in the home environment, though i find it hard to see why the two should be directly linked. Maybe it's just something that gets worse when i'm stressed or depressed, which must mean i am stressed or depressed now. It's hard to tell though , maybe because things have been like this a few years, or maybe i squish my feelings like ACA tend to.
Back in the early 90s, when i was trying to do school. I'd procrasinate procrastinate and not study for a couple days, sitting in bedroom with nothing else to do but still somehow not studying. And i liked the subjects too, that was what made it wierd. I'd try brute force it, tell myself what a bad person i was for not studying, how i was ruining my life prospects, letting the family down etc and get very gloomy and anxious.
Then when i finally did manage to drag myself to my books, i'd go to the other extreme. I'd feel elated over every completed assignment, study obesssively and cram with every available waking hour. Then after a couple of days, exhausted, i'd fail to pick up my books one morning and the cycle would start again. Over the course of my A levels the pattern intesified, by the end i suspected myself to have bipolar disorder.
The delusional highs , when i was studying, were ridiculous.
Well, after flunking those exams i had to learn my coping strategies, so i could eventually resit. But tbh, once i left home, i became a rather organised person and it wasn't even an issue that needed to be managed for most of the next 14 years.
But recently my ACA chickens came home to roost and I ended up going no contact. I guess that's what's stressing me out and causing the current outbreak, but i cannot control my Mum, her drinking or mental health issues. I need to learn to function in spite of all this - plenty of people do.
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Toronto
Posts: 3,195
I have Inattentive ADD. Diagnosed while in rehab at age 34. Daydreamer as s kid. People thought I was lazy. Low motivation, chronic procrastination, not finishing assignments/projects etc. Google it.
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 1,243
I certainly relate to the problem. I used to have "To Do" lists that were so long it took forever just to read and organize them and none of them got done. I have one thing that really worked extremely well for these problems in your age group. I organized a simple aerobic barbell exorcize program with light weights that only took 20 minutes a day. The trick that makes it effective is to push yourself to keep going nonstop for the 20 minutes. If you have to stop and rest cut the weight down until you can keep going the entire 20 minutes 5 days a week. Loud high energy music really helps you work hard. The main objective is to improve aerobic endurance and it indeed does a great job. You won't build large muscles this way but you'll have more shape, muscle strength (not size) much better stamina. I progressed to heavy weights which will increase muscle size and strength and then used running or bicycling to cover the aerobic aspects. I absolutely hate bicycling machines and running ramps. When your outside you are much more distracted from the pain of the work out.
You probably won't want to do this one but the neighborhood buds and I finished the season with a few 100 mile non-stop bicycle races. You can certainly run too but I have hurt myself running several times and never on a bicycle even in the pouring rain.
When I exercised like this my mental health was superb. When I first started with just light aerobic barbell 20 min routine I was more relaxed during the day, almost immediately.
I know you went to a doc and got some meds. From what you describe a pdoc has much more expertise in treating these type of problems and very importantly, the ability to accurately identify the problem in a minimum of time. If you need these meds you should see the pdoc on a regular basis. At 40 you have a lot of years left to be happy. Why not visit a pdoc and see what he recommends. NIMH estimates approximately 1 of 5 adults suffer some form of mental illness. Most go untreated and can result in many family heartbreaks.
You probably won't want to do this one but the neighborhood buds and I finished the season with a few 100 mile non-stop bicycle races. You can certainly run too but I have hurt myself running several times and never on a bicycle even in the pouring rain.
When I exercised like this my mental health was superb. When I first started with just light aerobic barbell 20 min routine I was more relaxed during the day, almost immediately.
I know you went to a doc and got some meds. From what you describe a pdoc has much more expertise in treating these type of problems and very importantly, the ability to accurately identify the problem in a minimum of time. If you need these meds you should see the pdoc on a regular basis. At 40 you have a lot of years left to be happy. Why not visit a pdoc and see what he recommends. NIMH estimates approximately 1 of 5 adults suffer some form of mental illness. Most go untreated and can result in many family heartbreaks.
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 2,308
So, do you have hobbies? friends or family, do you socialize? Sounds like your days off contain a lot of unstructured time, which I know personally can be hard to fill. I think a good balance of chores/stuff you "have" to do, along with some fun things you want to do might be the ticket. If you fill all your days off with errands, cleaning, and nothing enjoyable it's certainly easy to understand why you procrastinate and do nothing.
If you can't think of anything you like to do just for the enjoyment of it, I think you should explore this a bit. Exercise, music, games, reading, arts, there really is a lot out there. And if nothing sounds appealing or if you can't find the energy to do fun stuff, I would think about talking to a therapist to see if you may have depression or something else going on.
If you can't think of anything you like to do just for the enjoyment of it, I think you should explore this a bit. Exercise, music, games, reading, arts, there really is a lot out there. And if nothing sounds appealing or if you can't find the energy to do fun stuff, I would think about talking to a therapist to see if you may have depression or something else going on.
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Nottingham UK
Posts: 241
Originally Posted by kittycat3 
And if nothing sounds appealing or if you can't find the energy to do fun stuff, I would think about talking to a therapist to see if you may have depression or something else going on.
Eventually took it out for a test ride at dusk, it had been a bright and clear winter's day. My poor toes almost froze off, but the night sky / sunset and all were spectacular. The mod seemed to pay off too, the bike was comfortable and felt quite stable. Next day i felt like a different person, got straight up to do more work on the bike based on experience from the night before, no need to battle "procrastination".
That buzz has now worn off and i feel back to my usual crappy self. Looks like i need another bike ride to fix me. Must be the feel-good chemicals from exercise, or perhaps the problem is my brain is overheating and shoving it into a cold wind for 2 hours gets it working again.
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ok here goes. ride mk 2.
I've basically turned the mountain bike into a bit of a tourer. It's heavy, but the land is as flat as a billiard table round here and those aero handlebars help. But the main thing is that the normal riding position gives me really bad carpal tunnel syndrome. Was out for 2 hours the other day but because of those aero bars my wrists were fine.
Of course, bikes are a pain in the butt to work on at the best of times, and i was trying to fit parts designed for triathalon road bikes to a mtb.. so a fair amount of hacking had to be done. Well nothing fell off yet.
I've basically turned the mountain bike into a bit of a tourer. It's heavy, but the land is as flat as a billiard table round here and those aero handlebars help. But the main thing is that the normal riding position gives me really bad carpal tunnel syndrome. Was out for 2 hours the other day but because of those aero bars my wrists were fine.
Of course, bikes are a pain in the butt to work on at the best of times, and i was trying to fit parts designed for triathalon road bikes to a mtb.. so a fair amount of hacking had to be done. Well nothing fell off yet.
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Join Date: Jan 2014
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Posts: 241
four hours later... i'm back.
i was meant to find some thicker socks, but i was in danger of not going so just hoped for warmer weather. not exactly sure why i felt the need to stay out 4 hours.... i guess i didn't want to turn back for the first 90 min as i was having fun, then bonked out, went low blood sugar, and realised i needed a milkshake or two to get home. unfortunately in a rural area with only small villages, no garages or convenience stores. had to press on to the next large town to get milkshake. now two hours back.
earlier on in the day, i found these backup cds i'd made dated 2001, that i'd never used. all my 90s dance mp3s. Appropriately, it was pitch dark , in the middle of the countryside, with frost forming on the ground, when the track "Black Watch - North Sky" came on. As it happened, "The Plough" and Polaris - the "north star" were bright and low on the horizon right in front of me, felt kind of epic.
i was meant to find some thicker socks, but i was in danger of not going so just hoped for warmer weather. not exactly sure why i felt the need to stay out 4 hours.... i guess i didn't want to turn back for the first 90 min as i was having fun, then bonked out, went low blood sugar, and realised i needed a milkshake or two to get home. unfortunately in a rural area with only small villages, no garages or convenience stores. had to press on to the next large town to get milkshake. now two hours back.
earlier on in the day, i found these backup cds i'd made dated 2001, that i'd never used. all my 90s dance mp3s. Appropriately, it was pitch dark , in the middle of the countryside, with frost forming on the ground, when the track "Black Watch - North Sky" came on. As it happened, "The Plough" and Polaris - the "north star" were bright and low on the horizon right in front of me, felt kind of epic.
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Nottingham UK
Posts: 241
...and today i felt really summery, like i'd just started a course of Prozac. In the morning there was a tingly feeling passing through my whole body. Ended up cleaning the whole house.
Super organised - i wasn't back at work till wednesday - or so i thought. Just checked today, i'd lost count. Not used to time off. Am in fact due in tomorrow, but i can relax at least, the place is spotless and there is literally nothing i have to do between now and the morning - no more midnight shirt ironing sessions etc.
Exercise must release nature's own antidepressants. Don't ever stop doing it.
Super organised - i wasn't back at work till wednesday - or so i thought. Just checked today, i'd lost count. Not used to time off. Am in fact due in tomorrow, but i can relax at least, the place is spotless and there is literally nothing i have to do between now and the morning - no more midnight shirt ironing sessions etc.
Exercise must release nature's own antidepressants. Don't ever stop doing it.
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: milwaukee wi
Posts: 3,574
mmm we had a great weekend.. I volunteer us for lots of different things.. hubby never knows what end is up next.. so Sat all day at the Expo building for state Fair.. it was great and he had a ball.. dead on our feet at 5:30 burgers and bed.. Sunday I slept untill 9am and usualy I am up at 4 am all the time.. but my body said hey its Sunday.. sooo..zzzzzing for a bit longer.. then off to the casino to the Chili Cook off.. cost nothing we ate and ate and did the slots and came home with extra coins.. so cost nothing... today he is depressed.. nose hurts eyes hurt and so on... why .. kids and beans I have no clue anymore..
so Liberator4EVA... you have locked yourself in your home.. no wife kids or major people to drag you from it kicking and screaming NOOOOO.. ahhaahah sorry if it seems I am stepping hard...
you all have so much you can do to help yourself and yet it seems like you forget to look in the mirror and say Hey Dummy what are we doing with our life today...mmmmm do you write paint garden you could be anything.. hahahaha I am a floating head in a zombie movie no kidding... volunteer get out there in the World and take a Stand if not for yourself for the good you could do for someone else.. we live in Wisconsin every morning I get up. Hey 44 days till spring and bounce him all over the bed.. when Ed knows there is a problem with me.. I am not a singing Fairy of noise and light.. does not happen much.. but the last couple of weeks its been hard... I had a major friend take her own life Jan 31st......... Gold Star Mom... That held so many of us so tight.. and just forgot to reach out to the ripple of the world when she needed it most.. and a young actor friend... took his life Dec ... he was such a great funny smart young man.. so
Kiddo get out of that house flat or bin.. get on the net for your city county or area and see what is shouting for help with.. and kiddo this group of Great People you listen to them keep them tight and like me you will find a very very special place to be in... hugs and prayers ardy..
so Liberator4EVA... you have locked yourself in your home.. no wife kids or major people to drag you from it kicking and screaming NOOOOO.. ahhaahah sorry if it seems I am stepping hard...
you all have so much you can do to help yourself and yet it seems like you forget to look in the mirror and say Hey Dummy what are we doing with our life today...mmmmm do you write paint garden you could be anything.. hahahaha I am a floating head in a zombie movie no kidding... volunteer get out there in the World and take a Stand if not for yourself for the good you could do for someone else.. we live in Wisconsin every morning I get up. Hey 44 days till spring and bounce him all over the bed.. when Ed knows there is a problem with me.. I am not a singing Fairy of noise and light.. does not happen much.. but the last couple of weeks its been hard... I had a major friend take her own life Jan 31st......... Gold Star Mom... That held so many of us so tight.. and just forgot to reach out to the ripple of the world when she needed it most.. and a young actor friend... took his life Dec ... he was such a great funny smart young man.. so
Kiddo get out of that house flat or bin.. get on the net for your city county or area and see what is shouting for help with.. and kiddo this group of Great People you listen to them keep them tight and like me you will find a very very special place to be in... hugs and prayers ardy..
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 178
Hey Liberator,
I read this and can totally relate. I have learned about myself that I need to move!! If I ride my bike to work ever day I feel good, clear, normal. If I sit around and don't move much it almost feels like I'm becoming a statue.
We really are all different. Some people can get away with no exercise at all and still feel good, some of us need to move - probably has some cave-days relationship.
Modern day life is hard for those of us who have to move because there's no reason too - except the fact that some of us need to.
If I don't ride the bike, I make sure I get off the train far enough away from work that I have to walk a way to get there.
I could take antidepressants, they work, but they also make me feel a bit dead.
Meditating really helps too - but similarly I've found that yoga is even better for me than meditating, I think for the same reason. I need to move!
I think it's good to get to know your own body/mind. I wish I'd learned that earlier!!
I read this and can totally relate. I have learned about myself that I need to move!! If I ride my bike to work ever day I feel good, clear, normal. If I sit around and don't move much it almost feels like I'm becoming a statue.
We really are all different. Some people can get away with no exercise at all and still feel good, some of us need to move - probably has some cave-days relationship.
Modern day life is hard for those of us who have to move because there's no reason too - except the fact that some of us need to.
If I don't ride the bike, I make sure I get off the train far enough away from work that I have to walk a way to get there.
I could take antidepressants, they work, but they also make me feel a bit dead.
Meditating really helps too - but similarly I've found that yoga is even better for me than meditating, I think for the same reason. I need to move!
I think it's good to get to know your own body/mind. I wish I'd learned that earlier!!
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