jt22

So i'm diagnosed with ADD, although with how many people that have this and how extreme some of my symptoms can be sometimes i question whether i have something more or if real ADD is just overused. Anyway i have a ton of trouble with almost instant mood swings, depression, intense boredom that leads to drug use, fighting, anything that gives me a feeling of life to erase that empty feeling. I have lots of mental anxiety and racing thoughts, have horrible time management(late for EVERYTHING), and a lot of self doubt.

Im really tryin to turn around, been in college doing a little better when i was on vyvanse but they made me extremely irritable, to the point id get violent so i stopped taking them. Been off opiates over 2 weeks now, I have joined a gym, tried to get busier, but i have a lot of anxiety about trying new things and sometimes just makes me more miserable than sitting around all day. I know the idea is to get on a routine and stick with it, but i have trouble sleeping on time, i stay up all night and then im tired all day. I worry a lot and get frustrated easy, basically i just feel all over the place. I eat very healthy, drink lots of water and green tea, take vitamins, and have also been trying l theanine pills.

Im sure theres lots of you out there dealing with similar, im wondering what has worked for you all? Im not asking for medical advice, just basic habits, tips, advice, etc that is beneficial for dealing with this. I think the root of my addiction is in my ADD so in order to stay clean i need to work on my ADD management. Doctors have shown to be very expensive and mostly useless in my case so far.

Thanks for reading, sorry for all the text my mind is running right now.

advbike

My gf's 7 yr old son has it. I don't like to pigeonhole him but he definitely has the short attention span and distractibility. I do believe it's a continuum and we all fall somewhere on it..

I also see his mind going all the time.. and recognize some of these traits in myself. Anxious thoughts.. and frustration. I found books by Tolle and DeMello helpful for that.

We find it helps to minimize his sugar intake. Lot's of exercise. No meds. Also, the book "Scattered" by Gabor Mate is awesome in describing the roots of ADD and techniques.

jt22

Thanks for the feedback, i too try to keep my sugar intake as low as possible, i find exercise is fun and i do it often, but starting any task is a chore lol. Im reading a book as well, just trying to do my best to get some organization and routine into my life.

Bassmasters

"ADD" is far too broad to encapsulate any one option. It used to be known as minimal brain damage, now it's a catch all for quirky personalities, and yes... the brain damaged.

I'd suggest quirky people need to find new company, and things that interest them. Oh wow, sounds like the same thing that everyone else could use as well.

The brain damaged? If it's truly minimal, you can increase BDNF, and NGF in the brain with diet and supplements, exercise, meditation... you could also find new company, and things that interest you... just sayin

jt22

Idk doesnt sound like you are very informed with ADD, it's not only caused by brain damage. You are right that ADD is thrown around a lot, but like others have said it's like a spectrum that everyone experiences more or less of, some people just have less control and more symtpoms. I believe, but dont hold me to this, but people with ADD in certain environments(for example nomads) faired better. This could show it is an aquired trait that is passed down for survivability. Obviously it doesnt work great for our society.

jt22

I guess i dont entirely understand what youre getting at, so all this time ive just been involved with nothing that interests me and need to find friends that arent goofy? That will solve my issues?

Verte

Hi Jiimt91,

There was a time years ago where I was recovering from an injury and could not do physical activity like I liked and went stir crazy, meshuga, cuckoo. Tried medications for an anxiety/add prelim diagnosis and they worked really well.

What was most important was for me to work hard to limit the sources of potential over-stimulation. "Just because you can does not mean you should" approach.

Running in the morning was key. Then bike to/from work. Music/headphones to focus and not be distracted. Outside activity was essential for me. Breathing and feeling the air and wind. Indoor activity just did not cut it.

Routine but not schedule.

Now I take bupropion alone as a med and it works well. I did mindfulness training and regularly use the techniques to not get totally out of whack while out in the world. Helps me focus on the bigger purposes of the day instead of "hey look, there's a bird."

Consider reading short story collections if an entire book is daunting right now. Or magazines/journals. With highlighters and post it notes so you can scan and skim with the potential to think and return later.

Break down your day into the simplest parts. Make sure you eat regularly, get lots of physical activity, sleep. Laugh, smile.

Do not give up on doctors. Remember that it is a working relationship between you and another person. What are your goals? How do you feel? Is s/he listening to your concerns? Find a doc word of mouth...this has always worked for me. If you cannot afford it then look into public resources.

Nice job not self-medicating and being self-destructive. This is a huge accomplishment. Keep it up and stay committed to setting yourself up for success.

Bassmasters

This statement implies I only thought it was caused by brain damage. That's an inaccurate assessment.

If it's a spectrum, then it stands to reason this sprinkling to varying degrees has served our species well. Funny we would label this a "disorder" don't you think? If not brain damage, than merely a different order than what is currently preferred.

I read this several years back as well. Don't you think this further destroys the establishments assessment of being a "disorder". It's merely inconvenient for the masters of this current system, or order. Should we create an additional layer that pushes people to view their selves as disordered, and in need of medications? Maybe a better way exists. Maybe it is the society which should adapt to the inherent variety of billions of people.

You want to change society? Change your company. Culture influences politics/society. What do you think better, stay around people who throw around that label, or fly by your own order with your own group, further organizing into a new order of sorts with weight to throw around?

If not brain damaged, quirky, and oh do the gifted have quirks. Might be the reason the current order doesn't much wanna enable these bunch. Maybe something to fear after all. Security of position comes to mind.

jt22

Bassbooster i totally agree with everything you said, sorry for coming off defensive i took what you said the wrong way. Problem is how do we adapt to a society that doesnt work for us? I want to do well, have a family one day, etc so yeah ADD may not be a disorder(along with a lot of "disorders") but it doesnt change the fact it hurts our ability to thrive in this society. I try to be involved in things that fit me, but for example i still have to go to college to start the career of my choice. As im sure you know classes and ADD dont match well hah.

So what exacty would you suggest to me?

jt22

Verte thanks all of the information. The part where you said routine, but not schedule stuck out to me. What exactly do you mean by this? I notice everyone says we should have a set time for waking up, going to sleep, time for recreation, time for study, time for working out, tracking progress, etc. I've tried doing this a thousand times and i never know if i should just let go of trying to schedule out my days and plan things, or just have set goals of what needs to be done each day and do it on my own time. For example i try writing down workout progress and tracking calories all of that. Or setting times to study, do homework, etc. everytime i try to organize like that things fall apart. It makes things feel like chores. Idk if i should just work harder at planning out my day or embrace my organized chaos and go with the flow. I tend to not follow the typical rules for success and with people constantly saying how things should be done and how people with ADD need to plan things out i second guess what seems to have worked for me. I always think there is something i could be doin better so basically idk if i should try to plan better and work on sticking to it or not.

I really dont like the idea of medication for "treating" something that isnt necessarily a problem.

Bassmasters

What is your career choice? I think it's important for people to get real with the amount of positions available of a career path vs the amount of graduates trying to enter that field.

We have far too many people being herded into getting a degree, running with the assumption hat they will live a poor quality of life if they don't get it. So what would you like to do, and are you certain it's a good fit for you?

jt22

I totally agree with that and have thought about it carefully, i even chose community college because i wasnt sure exactly which direction i wanted to head for a realistic career.

Now i've decided to try and qualify for a program to be an assistant physical therapist through community. Decent pay to live off and i get to move around and work with people instead of sitting in a desk all day bored out of my mind. I really think if i can get through the schooling that it will be a great job for me. I've seen what they do and i could picture myself doing it. Down the road i could always embrace another path, but this seems to be a good place to start for me.

Pouncer

ADHD is 100% real. I know it all too well. I thought I was lazy and a horrible person until I was diagnosed as an adult. It is caused by low dopamine levels in the brain. Over time, because the reward centers are not activated very often, you lose actual brain mass, especially in the prefrontal cortex. ADHD brains are wired differently than neurotypical brains. I have always thought it should be called DDD: Dopamine Deficiency Disorder

It is actually classified as a mental illness, not a learning disorder. Untreated ADHD accounts for a large percentage of prison populations since we are impulsive and thrill-seeking. We are especially prone to substance abuse. It sucks :/

I take Vyvanse and Wellbutrin, but I am off the Vyvanse while I am detoxing. I have inattentive type; the best thing for me has been a chalkboard wall for reminders. If I don't see it, it doesn't exist.

Time Timers (they are a visual timer) help immensely.

Erratic

sry for butting in this convo, I guess I am ignorant of knowing what ADD was. An education psychologist said I had this when I was doing a course at uni, but I just thought it was only about me not able to fix my concentration on one thing for long periods of time, never knew what I see above.

To me my only mental illness is my borderline personality disorder which I understand comes with a lot of other disorders.

Thanks for the post above guess never really understood what it meant in having ADD to me its nothing and I just do what I do hmm

SoberAlky

I was only diagnosed with ADD (along with generalized anxiety and panic disorder) after seeking help for my alcoholism. I am prescribed a hypertension medication, clonidine for it, which is off-label here in the USA, but is not in other parts of the world (Down Unda'). There are also a whole host of other stimulant medications that are specifically geared to treat ADD/ADHD, but my psychiatrist felt that the increased stimulation might also translate to increased anxiety in my case.

SoberAlky

Excellent advice. The entire time I was married (which disintegrated because of my alcoholism), my wife would think I was simply f--king with her by blowing off tasks, but my mind would wander and I would honestly just forget. I'm a compulsive list-maker now.

Pouncer

I am really going through that right now. I just cannot remember. It is like asking a mentally disabled person to do advanced calculus. We just can't do it - or not very easily.

I was also diagnosed after a massive meltdown as an adult and forgot to take life-saving medication. ADHD sucks.

I really think that us ADDers with addiction issues need to really keep on top of it. There are so many frustrating daily challenges with having ADD, besides the forgetting, which just keeps you constantly behind and late with obligations. We have a very poor concept of what time feels like. We just don't get subtle social communication, people think we are rude (interrupting) -- so they withdraw and then we withdraw. We also have a really hard time with impulse control, so that just sets us up for substance abuse to begin with. So for me, keeping on top of my ADHD is very important for maintaining sobriety.

I have so many systems in place, many books, see a psych doc., etc. but it is still me playing catch-up.

The bonus of all of this is that people think your very real, very exhausting brain disability is a fad or, even worse, made up. 'You should try harder,' 'That's just an excuse,' 'Why do you have to be so intense?'

I had a friend just recently show me how to organize files on my server he was accessing for a mutual project. My files were a mess. He didn't say anything at first. He kept plugging along and started organizing a new attachment folder in a way that utterly astounded me. I had no idea that people actually organized their computer files and I really did not know how to do something like that. Instead of criticizing me, or getting frustrated, he didn't say anything until he noticed how much time I was wasting looking for files (there is the time concept again). It was so thoughtful, because instead of lecturing or joking about it, he understood that I literally did not know how to do it.

I personally love this youtube video from a young college student who just nailed what it is like to have ADHD. 11 Things You Should Never Ask People with ADHD and Why:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mcu6F2_f-T8

jt22

So i just came back to this post, i forgot about it for a little while, but i too am obsessed with making lists. If i dont i cant get a thought out of my head and it just keeps replayig because im so afraid that ill forget. Also my concept of time is almost non-existent no matter how hard i try i cant seem to ever be on time, what feels like 20 minutes to me is an hour or more. I also have a very hard time following written or verbal directions, idk why it doesnt seem to come to me from start to finish like do this, then this, and then this. Its more like a giant wall of random gibberish all over the place. A lot of times ill read directions from the middle then the top then the bottom or ill start tests at the end and work myself back. I just cant seem to follow a linesr pattern. I havent been to a psych in awhile, i hate the meds, they make me extremely aggressive and an emotional roller coaster. I never feel evened out and i tend to strongly dislike people close to me out of no where, usually just because im bored and think of things about them that **** me off. My moods are just all over the place and im always very upfront with people. The thing is i can tell how people are feeling, if they are annoyed with me, or whatever. I just dont really care, i see how stupid most "normal" people act and to me thats boring and fake.

Anyway, does anyone else share these symptoms? Like mentioned before sometimes i think i may have something other than ADD just because i have a lot off differences from the more traditional ADD types that you come across. Most people dont think that i have it, but some of the big ones like lack of attention in school and mood swings are definitely there for me.

Pouncer

Jim, I can relate to all of the things you mentioned: urgent list-making; nonexistent concept of time; trouble following verbal directions; jumping from part to part instead of going sequentially; et cetera.

It is also so much easier for me to be around ADHD people. They don't get offended if I have a vacant look on my face because I stopped listening a minute ago and am off daydreaming and I don't get offended if they do, either. I can also relate to the intensity of other ADDers. It am relieved to be around the non-normals.

Irritability is a big part of ADD, too. I work constantly to not be irritated when people talk and act slowly.

ADHD usually travels with other mental illness diagnoses. I have Major Depressive Disorder, also. It is constant work to stay on top of both of my diagnoses. You should see your psych. doctor again, just to rule out (or possibly help identify) any other issues.

Keep trudging along!

jt22

Thanks for the quick reply, thats funny you mention you enjoy being around other people with ADD, i notice all of my close friends(a lot i dont talk to anymore because they are involved in drugs and problems) either have been diagnosed with ADD or obviously have it and have just never been to a psych. Im happy for people that dont deal with it, but you find it's always the ones that dont have it that say it doesnt exist or that people are just lazy. I really wish certain* people could feel how crazy life with ADD (or any mental condition) is. I think thats another reason we gravitate towards people with issues, they understand better than the person that has no problem working a 9-5, studying, following directions, sticking to a strict routine, etc without going crazy after a day.