Noro

I was prescribed Luvox after a pretty recent stay at the hospital to treat my intrusive thoughts. I've been a very obsessive thinker for practically my whole life, and was diagnosed with OCD. I finally thought I had a solution, but after my health insurance declined to cover rehab until I tried outpatient (for who knows how long), I gave up hope. I had done everything I thought I was supposed to do. Detox many times, trying to get into rehab, going to AA, etc.

Anyway, my OCD has gotten even worse. I am thinking of going back to the hospital but I'm afraid of disclosing my private life and having it on my health record permanently. I know nurses, and people who are becoming nurses, and if I'm not mistaken, they have access to that (especially if they end up treating me). I was told by a psychiatrist that they can access it, but it leaves "fingerprints" so that others can see if they've looked at it. But I'm terrified of confiding in somebody, having it being seen by anyone I know, and then all it takes is, "Hey, remember that guy? Well guess what I find out!"

I don't mean to sound self-indulgent, as I know it's not like people are constantly thinking of me or anything. It's just the possibility of honesty coming back to haunt me forever. So it renders therapy completely futile. I just want to stop these thoughts, putting myself down, thinking I'm this or that, etc. And what's even more frightening is that the obsessive thinking can be completely misunderstood, and I'm twice as haunted by this then? I'd just spend the rest of my life in a psychiatric hospital.

Here I am obsessively thinking about obsessively thinking. I knew that alcohol can prevent an SSRI from working, but I wasn't aware that alcohol with an SSRI can even worsen your symptoms. It's like I'm better off without the medication. That combined with occasional withdrawals has literally put me in a crisis.

SoberCAH

Glad you are here, Noro.

I can't answer all your issues regarding disclosing mental health issues to health care personnel, whether it goes on your "permanent record", etc.

If the doctor has put you on SSRI's, he or she must think that they should be able to help you.

Withdrawal is tough, but recovery is worth it - I can assure you of that.

I hope that you stick with your efforts to get better and that you keep us posted.

Take care.

Astro

Part of my program of recovery was taking medications as prescribed and not using alcohol so that everything works as intended.

Please, be honest with your doctor and do your best to take good care of your health.