Hello - and trying AVRT for the first time
Recognising my AV
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: South West of England
Posts: 218
Hello - and trying AVRT for the first time
Hello folks
This is my first post on this forum but I have been noodling around behind the scenes for a while.
I've tried lots of things over the years - like most I suppose - moderation, AA, and I've read every book under the sun about the subject of alcohol problems and addiction. I'm such an expert I know all the theory - just fail to put it into practice - for long anyway.
Having recently read Trimpey's book I stopped drinking using AVRT 11 days ago (I know you're not supposed to count but there you are). The first week was lush! I actually enjoyed stopping and enjoyed telling my Beast to go and do one. The satisfaction of knowing I didn't have to do it anymore and better still - it's in my control to not do it was immeasurable - especially on waking in the morning.
The last couple of days however the Beast has been rattled and is shouting at me. I'm getting irritable and downright angry with myself and others and little things are making me really cross.
I know it's my AV trying to pick a fight so I can blame someone else and have a reason to go out and buy booze - it's the same voice that's telling me that I deserve one now it's the weekend and maybe I could just not drink on week days.
it's just annoying that it's getting louder rather than quieter. I know it's probably getting scared and vulnerable but I wish I wasn't so mad at everyone.
Anyway - I've made a Big Plan and won't change my mind - I might just mooch around this forum till I feel a bit less narky
This is my first post on this forum but I have been noodling around behind the scenes for a while.
I've tried lots of things over the years - like most I suppose - moderation, AA, and I've read every book under the sun about the subject of alcohol problems and addiction. I'm such an expert I know all the theory - just fail to put it into practice - for long anyway.
Having recently read Trimpey's book I stopped drinking using AVRT 11 days ago (I know you're not supposed to count but there you are). The first week was lush! I actually enjoyed stopping and enjoyed telling my Beast to go and do one. The satisfaction of knowing I didn't have to do it anymore and better still - it's in my control to not do it was immeasurable - especially on waking in the morning.
The last couple of days however the Beast has been rattled and is shouting at me. I'm getting irritable and downright angry with myself and others and little things are making me really cross.
I know it's my AV trying to pick a fight so I can blame someone else and have a reason to go out and buy booze - it's the same voice that's telling me that I deserve one now it's the weekend and maybe I could just not drink on week days.
it's just annoying that it's getting louder rather than quieter. I know it's probably getting scared and vulnerable but I wish I wasn't so mad at everyone.
Anyway - I've made a Big Plan and won't change my mind - I might just mooch around this forum till I feel a bit less narky
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,850
Welcome, Hendrix, to SR. Post away!!!!!
Congratulations on 11 sober days.
It seems a lot of people's AVs pick up around the weekend. There is a weekend thread on SR; I'll post the link in another post.
Congratulations on 11 sober days.
It seems a lot of people's AVs pick up around the weekend. There is a weekend thread on SR; I'll post the link in another post.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,850
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ght=Weekenders
This is the link to last weekend's thread. I am not sure when Weasel posts the new threads but I imagine it will be shortly.
This is the link to last weekend's thread. I am not sure when Weasel posts the new threads but I imagine it will be shortly.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,850
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
The ninth day was my absolute break with my old life. It was the day I had to cry for two hours, call every phone number/friend I could find to keep from drinking, and also the day I found my greatest strength.
These moments of clarity continued to happen, but never like that one day. Stuff happens, but I don't drink at it anymore.
These moments of clarity continued to happen, but never like that one day. Stuff happens, but I don't drink at it anymore.
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
Weclome Hendrix, well met! Congratulations on your choice, your decision to get sober, once and for all.
I hope you keep posting because it's truly inspiring.
For me the source of annoyance from the AV was the fear that I might fail. Once I realized that this fear was AV too, it didn't matter what AV thoughts came to me, they could never make me drink. And then the fear of these thoughts went away and so did the annoyance factor. Like someone saying BOO - after a few times, you go right to the rational response bypassing the startled response immediately. Then you just go, oh yeah, it's you again. Jerk. Phhhhhhht.
I hope you keep posting because it's truly inspiring.
For me the source of annoyance from the AV was the fear that I might fail. Once I realized that this fear was AV too, it didn't matter what AV thoughts came to me, they could never make me drink. And then the fear of these thoughts went away and so did the annoyance factor. Like someone saying BOO - after a few times, you go right to the rational response bypassing the startled response immediately. Then you just go, oh yeah, it's you again. Jerk. Phhhhhhht.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,937
Welecome to SR, Hendrix! Good to have you aboard. I too use AVRT, going on about 25 months sober now. It's not just the Beast rattling around at 11 days, it's also an adjustment process for your brain and body. Blood chemistry wise, as you know, the body adapts to running on alcohol in a sense. It's kind of a shock to the system when you stop.
Hang in there! Keep using AVRT. The Beast can't make you so much as wiggle a finger and so it certainly can't make you drink. Beware though- it's crafty. It will try to trick you into thinking its voice it your own higher voice.
Hang in there! Keep using AVRT. The Beast can't make you so much as wiggle a finger and so it certainly can't make you drink. Beware though- it's crafty. It will try to trick you into thinking its voice it your own higher voice.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: England
Posts: 808
It will get quieter and easier to handle Hendrix, 11 days is still fairly early (Fantastic job getting there though ) but you'll be stunned just how much easier it gets.
In the early days I didn't trust myself to go to shops, now I breeze past the booze aisles with no trouble at all.
Hang in there my friend, this is a worthy cause and a winnable fight.
Keep at it, you're doing great
) but you'll be stunned just how much easier it gets.In the early days I didn't trust myself to go to shops, now I breeze past the booze aisles with no trouble at all.
Hang in there my friend, this is a worthy cause and a winnable fight.
Keep at it, you're doing great
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Chiang Mai Thailand
Posts: 251
Hendrix, keep posting and reading and hanging out with us. We all had 11 days once. We know how you feel. We also all have tried AVRT for the first time, nice thing is that's all you have to do is try it once...
Recognising my AV
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: South West of England
Posts: 218
Thanks for all your kind welcomes and replies. It's helpful to speak to people who know what it feels like. I know 12 days without alcohol now is not that much - but to me it's something I haven't done for about 9 years when I tried AA and stopped for 6 months before deciding that sobriety was just too much to bear!
It seems that the more distance I put between me and the last drink the more I start to question my reasons for stopping! Which is odd cos when I drink I'd do anything to be sober and healthy.
I know it's my AV but it's making me angry - especially when I see people (like my wife) continuing to drink wine every damn night.
I think I understand the AVRT method but It's not quite as simple in practice as it reads - I suppose nothing worth having is easy............. still a bit more time and self development....... and I still have my Big Plan - maybe I should direct my anger at my Beast.
It seems that the more distance I put between me and the last drink the more I start to question my reasons for stopping! Which is odd cos when I drink I'd do anything to be sober and healthy.
I know it's my AV but it's making me angry - especially when I see people (like my wife) continuing to drink wine every damn night.
I think I understand the AVRT method but It's not quite as simple in practice as it reads - I suppose nothing worth having is easy............. still a bit more time and self development....... and I still have my Big Plan - maybe I should direct my anger at my Beast.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 49
Greetings Hendrix! I'm fairly new too and have found amazing inspiration here. I have just come to terms with the idea of traveling in Europe without drinking. Yikes! I use a metaphor for myself that the Beast is a highly trained service dog and if I allow it on the sofa even one time it will never stop trying to sneak up there. This would be a waste of my investment! So I guess instead of getting angry (after all, the animal brain does protect us in emergencies) I have merely trained it to obey me no matter what the distraction. It's hard to say "I'm never going to change my mind," We like to imagine that we are fun and spontaneous and there just might be a "When in Rome" situation. I just reframed that for myself. I'm not that girl now. Period. Welcome and let us know your ideas !!!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,937
That's why the Big Plan is so important Hendrix. The pain of addiction is terrible, but the human mind is a funny thing. It's easy to forget how bad things are after awhile. That's why pain and fear alone won't motivate you for long. You must engage your higher brain.
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