jessie65

This depression is crushing me. ;( I have a constant 24/7 sad, very empty feeling.

I finally got up the courage to make an appt and see if I could get on an antidepressant. Hated the doctor, left feeling worse (posted about that disastrous appt), but was put on welbutrin 200 mg.
It did nothing, so called the crappy doctor. THREE days later (during that time I drank one night desperate for relief, even a few hours and actually had no regrets), somebody finally responded and upped the dose.

Now, almost 2 weeks later on 300 mg of Welbutrin, Nothing, still dragging through life putting one foot in front of the other to get through the day. No drinking at all, eating well, doing my healthy smoothies, walking 4 miles a day, the whole healthy bit, and Nothing.
I still feel defeated, sad, listless....

So, I have to get up the courage to call yet another doctor and make an appt for the same damn thing. I can't go back to that doctor, no way, I left feeling worse, almost ashamed.
Don't know what to do.

biminiblue

Is something happening in your life right now that might benefit from talking it out? Relationship problems, family problems, work problems?

I know it helped me to talk about what was bothering me. A combination of medication and therapy may be the magic bullet for you.

((hug))

jessie65

Nothing that I haven't dealt with for years, I've been through some h*ll, but always kept on keeping on....

I can't pull out of this, and I try so hard, follow all those darn 'healthy guidelines' every day ( I messed up ONE day in a MONTH, by drinking).

I'm getting really frustrated. I'm irritable, I have no patience for anything, the smallest thing sets me right off, and the rage I feel sometimes scares me.
I have no energy, I'm in a fog, things seem surreal, I'm spacey (possibly the welbutrin?). It's not a pleasant feeling at all.

I went into therapy a few years ago and got little out of it, not sure if that was the therapist, or me.

Thank-you for your response, appreciate it.

MemphisBlues

This is where talk therapy comes into the picture. A psychiatrist only has chemical tools to attempt to alleviate depression, and it is a hit-or-miss science. No shrink anywhere on the planet can see you for 40 minutes, diagnosis you and land on the one pill that will fix you. All they can do is pick a pill, see you for 20 minute follow ups every few weeks or even months, adjust the dosage or opt for another drug.

Find a reputable therapist, either a PhD or social worker, versed in depression and set a schedule of appointments over several weeks.

And shop around. Interview therapists either on the phone or if your insurance allows it by actual appointments.

I've had unipolar depression all of my life and have been on every pharmaceutical regimen there is. It took years of abstinence from booze and drugs, therapy, AA and NA meetings and the support of loved ones to even begin to crawl out of the abyss.

AnvilheadII

I hope the next dr is more receptive and works WITH you towards a solution. have you considered a good naturopath? this isn't medical advice, but I have had a very good experience in that regard, ALWAYS felt heard, ALWAYS felt like they were on MY side, never felt like I was being shuttled along. while not "depressed" I was feeling like a miserable lethargic blob, barely able to crawl about of bed before 9am a little over a year ago. and things are a LOT better today! my system was all askew - my vitamin D, protein and calcium levels were alarmingly low, cortisol levels low, thyroid lagging, etc etc etc.

anywho, just wanted you to know you have options.

I do a NutrilBullet shake every day, dang those are good! I alternate kale or spinach, throw in a variety of frozen fruit, maybe some yogurt, or a banana, coconut water, either rice or hemp milk.....yum.

hang in there ok?

jessie65

I thought about seeing a therapist again but seriously, I'm so tired of 'talking about it'.
I know things are really messed up in my marriage, but I've decided to tough it out until my kids are grown and on their own, so I'm not looking for answers right now. My experience, the therapists are like talking to a friendly wall, my last one took phone calls in the middle of my session.

I really feel that because I'm menopausal, I am lacking something, and I think medication could help me, but the welbutrin has actually made me worse. my tinnitus is almost intolerable right now, So loud that I have trouble falling asleep, can't think or concentrate. On top from that, I wake up with a headache every morning. (I wake by 3:00 a.m with such a headache that now I go to bed with aspirin on my nightstand and take it in the middle of the night).

I've developed a very annoying 'twitch' (involuntary) in my cheek that is so darn embarrassing, I talk to people with my hand on my cheek. (I think that started before the medication, nerves maybe? No idea).
I keep taking the antidepressant because I don't know what else to do, I keep hoping it will just kick in I guess.

I do the nutribullet shakes twice a day, lots of greens & fruits, I eat very healthy and I exercise.
Thank-you for the responses, just wish there was an answer for me.

AnvilheadII

you can always talk here.

Lorax1981

I think you're doing a really good job. Eating right, moderate exercise, seeing a doc. All things that will help. The medication can take a while to start working, and it may not be the right one, but what's important is that you're trying. When I got sober I had the rage, depression, surreal feelings too. Staying totally sober is essential as a few nights drinking or drugging can really set back our progress. You are progressing even when it doesn't feel like it, so stick with it!
-Ted

biminiblue

I would keep trying - maybe different antidepressant types - not just the Wellbutrin.

I can't take SSRIs - they do not sit well with me at all - too many side effects. I do take Vitamin D every day, that was a game-changer for me after decades of depression, it really made a difference.

I also opted for the divorce. I couldn't do it any more.

I didn't have much luck with therapists, either. I feel we all have the answers within us. Have you tried a journal? When I am struggling with something, writing it all down helps a lot. I have mine in a protected section on my computer so no one else can read it. If I am in any kind of crisis, I spend 15 minutes a day on the journal and then drop the problem for the rest of the day. When/if the thoughts of it come up, I remind myself that I already have time set aside "later" to dwell on it.

Keep seeking, I read a lot of self-help books when I was just newly divorced. They were really helpful.