Help
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 80
Help
Yet again I fall off the wagon .. My family hate me and don't trust me coz I lied so many times about my drinking. My boyfriend has gone not that he was any use and my anxiety is sky high.. I have no one and feel really helpless
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
What kind of help are you seeking?
Can you get into counseling, AA, or a treatment program?
Being around others while you go through this will be helpful. You are not alone, there is always someone here.
I've found people are very forgiving if I give them a reason to be.
Can you get into counseling, AA, or a treatment program?
Being around others while you go through this will be helpful. You are not alone, there is always someone here.
I've found people are very forgiving if I give them a reason to be.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 80
I've tried so many times and the demons in my head just won't allow it. I have now reached out to aa and have doctors tomorrow. My family have given up and all they do us shout at me and that sets my anxiety off and then I drink.. I don't know how I'm going to get through this am just going to have to xx
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
Sometimes you have to step back and say nothing. Just work on you. Get yourself set up with a network of support from other areas, SR, AA, counseling, etc. You say yourself you have let your family down and now they yell at you. Sounds toxic for all involved. Get a sponsor and pour your heart out to people who can understand and are not so tied to your recovery in the same way as your family.
You can bet this if you commit to it.
Good Luck to you! You are not alone!
You can bet this if you commit to it.
Good Luck to you! You are not alone!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 80
Thank you, I have anxiety issues normally and the meds don't work so now it's double whammy.. I can't deal with the feelings that everyone hates me. My own children have turned there back on me I have been horrible and nasty and don't know how to recover it x
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
I come from the other side of the fence in that my X has mental issues that include major anxiety, along with alcohol abuse.
Your family don't hate you, I promise. They are tired, they are hurt, just like this addiction has made you hurt and tired. The best thing you can do for them is action. Don't even speak about it, just show them active recovery.
Reach out to those who get it because they are the ones who will be able to relate to what you deal with. There are other avenues for working on anxiety that don't include meds that can help you. Be willing to opening your mind and body to new avenues of recovery. Most importantly, have a face to face support system. It cannot be your family, they are much too close to the situation and cannot relate in the same way, and that is ok.
You can do this, but you have to get out of the mindset that it's too overwhelming. I don't say that to be harsh, but to encourage you that YOU CAN DO THIS.
XXX
Your family don't hate you, I promise. They are tired, they are hurt, just like this addiction has made you hurt and tired. The best thing you can do for them is action. Don't even speak about it, just show them active recovery.
Reach out to those who get it because they are the ones who will be able to relate to what you deal with. There are other avenues for working on anxiety that don't include meds that can help you. Be willing to opening your mind and body to new avenues of recovery. Most importantly, have a face to face support system. It cannot be your family, they are much too close to the situation and cannot relate in the same way, and that is ok.
You can do this, but you have to get out of the mindset that it's too overwhelming. I don't say that to be harsh, but to encourage you that YOU CAN DO THIS.
XXX
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 80
Originally Posted by hopeful4 
I come from the other side of the fence in that my X has mental issues that include major anxiety, along with alcohol abuse. Your family don't hate you, I promise. They are tired, they are hurt, just like this addiction has made you hurt and tired. The best thing you can do for them is action. Don't even speak about it, just show them active recovery. Reach out to those who get it because they are the ones who will be able to relate to what you deal with. There are other avenues for working on anxiety that don't include meds that can help you. Be willing to opening your mind and body to new avenues of recovery. Most importantly, have a face to face support system. It cannot be your family, they are much too close to the situation and cannot relate in the same way, and that is ok. You can do this, but you have to get out of the mindset that it's too overwhelming. I don't say that to be harsh, but to encourage you that YOU CAN DO THIS. XXX
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
I am hearing a lot of fear in your posts.
The only way out of that fear is through it.
Face the demons. The sooner the better.
The anxiety is caused by the alcohol withdrawal and the further you get away from your last drink, the less will be your anxiety and those fearful thoughts.
You would really benefit from throwing yourself whole-heartedly into a recovery program such as AA, AVRT, SMART, or something similar. Leave your family out of it - stick to people who have successfully recovered. They understand.
The only way out of that fear is through it.
Face the demons. The sooner the better.
The anxiety is caused by the alcohol withdrawal and the further you get away from your last drink, the less will be your anxiety and those fearful thoughts.
You would really benefit from throwing yourself whole-heartedly into a recovery program such as AA, AVRT, SMART, or something similar. Leave your family out of it - stick to people who have successfully recovered. They understand.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 80
Originally Posted by hopeful4
I come from the other side of the fence in that my X has mental issues that include major anxiety, along with alcohol abuse. Your family don't hate you, I promise. They are tired, they are hurt, just like this addiction has made you hurt and tired. The best thing you can do for them is action. Don't even speak about it, just show them active recovery. Reach out to those who get it because they are the ones who will be able to relate to what you deal with. There are other avenues for working on anxiety that don't include meds that can help you. Be willing to opening your mind and body to new avenues of recovery. Most importantly, have a face to face support system. It cannot be your family, they are much too close to the situation and cannot relate in the same way, and that is ok. You can do this, but you have to get out of the mindset that it's too overwhelming. I don't say that to be harsh, but to encourage you that YOU CAN DO THIS. XXX
Guest
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 1,476
Same year of birth as me Vicky 
I take an anti depression pill each day, have done for years now and booze just nullified it. I think you know this anyway but just to reinforce... anti anxiety or anti depression meds don't work if you drink on them.
I drank for 32 years (early starter) and I tried from age 35 to stop. 7 years of trying to quit and 7 years of it getting worse.
I could hang on for dear life and get a week or two up, but at the end of two weeks I would go on a 2 day bender and back to square one.
I promised family, friends and the kids, vowed and declared till the cows came home. Nothing worked.
I have been sober 80 days now, going to AA.
Could not do it alone, finally got off my arse and went and got help.
Good luck with it.
I take an anti depression pill each day, have done for years now and booze just nullified it. I think you know this anyway but just to reinforce... anti anxiety or anti depression meds don't work if you drink on them.
I drank for 32 years (early starter) and I tried from age 35 to stop. 7 years of trying to quit and 7 years of it getting worse.
I could hang on for dear life and get a week or two up, but at the end of two weeks I would go on a 2 day bender and back to square one.
I promised family, friends and the kids, vowed and declared till the cows came home. Nothing worked.
I have been sober 80 days now, going to AA.
Could not do it alone, finally got off my arse and went and got help.
Good luck with it.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
Vicky, have you thought about doing phone or online meetings? Just reading recently where someone else had great success through phone meetings.
You are there in that you admit you have these addictions and cannot control them yourself. You also should think about seeing a counselor who specializes in dealing with families with addiction, that changed my life.
I am also wondering if you have spoken w/your doctor about your medications not working? I know your body can become accustom to them and decrease the effectiveness of the meds. Maybe there is a different type of medication you can be on that would help you. Just a thought!
Many hugs coming your way!
XXX
Please keep coming back to SR. There is great support here for you.
You are there in that you admit you have these addictions and cannot control them yourself. You also should think about seeing a counselor who specializes in dealing with families with addiction, that changed my life.
I am also wondering if you have spoken w/your doctor about your medications not working? I know your body can become accustom to them and decrease the effectiveness of the meds. Maybe there is a different type of medication you can be on that would help you. Just a thought!
Many hugs coming your way!
XXX
Please keep coming back to SR. There is great support here for you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 80
Thank you, where did you find the online groups that would help. I told my doctor so many times about my meds.. Thing is they stop the anxiety and I get to the point where I have no left and they won't give me anymore Til there due so have nothing to stop the anxiety only alcohol but that can't continue.. I guess at least I got you guys that's a good thing.. Just gets very lonely at 4am when you can't calm down. This does frighten me coz I feel weak at the min xx
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
If you are using your anti-anxiety meds faster than the prescription calls for - that is another problem.
I think you need emergency medical intervention. Some drug combos combined with drinking can be accidentally lethal.
Please see your doctor and tell them about your drinking - how much, what kind of sleeping pills, how many, and how you are over-using your anti-anxiety meds. Do your doctors know you are drinking with these meds? Don't the meds say "Do not drink alcohol when taking this prescription."?
This is dangerous behavior. I'm worried about you. You need more than an online forum right now.
I think you need emergency medical intervention. Some drug combos combined with drinking can be accidentally lethal.
Please see your doctor and tell them about your drinking - how much, what kind of sleeping pills, how many, and how you are over-using your anti-anxiety meds. Do your doctors know you are drinking with these meds? Don't the meds say "Do not drink alcohol when taking this prescription."?
This is dangerous behavior. I'm worried about you. You need more than an online forum right now.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 80
Hi I have a doctors appointment tommoro. I haven't drunk today and I have no sleeping meds left.. I know I have a problem and I have rung aa and will be going there on Thursday.. So I am trying just keep failing x
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
See today as a new start. Despite the anxiety you are feeling about this, you are here, and you are doing proactive things for yourself! You have plans to go to AA, you are going to the doctor. Those are two things that will really help you. Be honest with the doctor so they can do their job and help.
Have you thought of seeing an actual psychiatrist? I did so that they could counsel w/me and adjust any meds I am on if needed. It helped so much.
I think you have to look at what is not working for you and be willing to adjust and try new things.
I believe if you google online AA meetings or phone in AA meetings you can hook up in that way.
Good luck and God Bless!
Keep us posted!
Have you thought of seeing an actual psychiatrist? I did so that they could counsel w/me and adjust any meds I am on if needed. It helped so much.
I think you have to look at what is not working for you and be willing to adjust and try new things.
I believe if you google online AA meetings or phone in AA meetings you can hook up in that way.
Good luck and God Bless!
Keep us posted!
Guest
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 1,476
Originally Posted by vickys1972
How do you cope with the anxiety though I don't sleep I can't eat I'm constantly restless xx
Basically it just involves soldiering through the first few weeks. Don't drink and give the meds a chance to work, would be first and foremost.
You can't die of insomnia, fact. It just makes you crazy for a few days, but it will sort itself out.
Just think of all the people who have been found dead over the years from combining prescription meds, sleeping tablets and high doses of alcohol.
We only tend to hear about the singers (Amy Winehouse) and movie stars (Heath Ledger) but rest assured it happens all the time in the suburbs all over the world.
I have met several people in two months of AA who have been resuscitated, luckily they were found by family early enough.
Winehouse and Ledger lived alone.
Good luck with it all Vicky.
I'm not going to lie and say this is easy, but give it a few weeks and you'll look back and realise that being an active alcoholic is 5 times the work. With zero benefits.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
