Notices

Class Of February 2014 Part 10

Old 08-13-2014, 04:03 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Administrator
Thread Starter
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,045
Class Of February 2014 Part 10

last part here:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...rt-9-a-21.html

D
Dee74 is offline  
Old 08-13-2014, 04:13 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Recovered from Hopeless State
 
dSober's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: New Jersey, USA
Posts: 2,156
I don't believe you need faith to get sober either. SR has taught me you don't need it to stay sober either but I think it sure helps. I know it's helped me. As for faith in what exactly, that's up to the practitioner to decide.
dSober is offline  
Old 08-13-2014, 05:41 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
 
gleefan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 3,958
Thanks for the new thread, Dee.

Well put, Gazza, about taking a rational approach. I agree with you and dSober that for me the little bit of faith that I am beginning to have is the result of sobriety and digging through my issues, not the cause of it.
gleefan is offline  
Old 08-13-2014, 08:35 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
01-14-2019
 
tornrealization's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,217
I think we can get sober without faith, but my worry is why bother? I'm tormented by my thinking right now. I'm not happy drinking makes me temporarily happy, but then is such a destruction, yet being sober makes me question what's the goal here, and I'm starting to think I'm a deeply sad person with no relief, because why and I DONT WANT To be that person.

As much as it counts Robin Williams suicide saddens me, make me feel more mortal, and ashames of my previous attempt.

This is where I wish it was worth something or, makes sense. Ok depression aside, I've been having good days. Not all is lost. I worry for those in Iraq, no fair God.
tornrealization is offline  
Old 08-13-2014, 08:53 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Administrator
Thread Starter
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,045
I think we can feel a certain way for so long it becomes the default programme.

I also felt I was a deeply sad person, and always would be.

I had 20 years or more of misery to back that conclusion up - why would/should I doubt it?

Yet time, and recovery, have shown me I was mistaken.

I'm not a deeply sad person - I'm actually a joyful and optimistic person who found themselves locked in a deeply sad way to live.

For what it's worth deeply sad are not the words that come immediately to mind when I think of you Torn.

I should also note that there was a difference in you without the booze.

I really encourage you to have the courage, and the faith, to go looking for that person again

D


Originally Posted by tornrealization View Post
I think we can get sober without faith, but my worry is why bother? I'm tormented by my thinking right now. I'm not happy drinking makes me temporarily happy, but then is such a destruction, yet being sober makes me question what's the goal here, and I'm starting to think I'm a deeply sad person with no relief, because why and I DONT WANT To be that person.

As much as it counts Robin Williams suicide saddens me, make me feel more mortal, and ashames of my previous attempt.

This is where I wish it was worth something or, makes sense. Ok depression aside, I've been having good days. Not all is lost. I worry for those in Iraq, no fair God.
Dee74 is offline  
Old 08-13-2014, 09:05 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Recovered from Hopeless State
 
dSober's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: New Jersey, USA
Posts: 2,156
Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
I really encourage you to have the courage, and the faith, to go looking for that person again
He's there... deep inside, you just have to look, hard. While the steps are not the only way, that's what they're for.
dSober is offline  
Old 08-14-2014, 08:29 AM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Member
 
Lucy777's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: US
Posts: 205
Hello. I'm back again. Day 3 or 4. I got my depression meds adjusted a few weeks ago and I am feeling more emotionally stable. And I finally got my dr to prescribe antabuse. I just want the drinking to stop. Antabuse will give provide a much needed buffer when feel upset and want to drink. Now I need to continue working through the emotional baggage. I don't think I will ever experience happiness again but I will settle for a sense of peace and calmness.
Lucy777 is offline  
Old 08-14-2014, 09:59 AM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Member
 
gleefan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 3,958
Lucy - I'm glad you're back.

I've had some depression co-occurring with my recovery. I felt pretty bleak when I stopped drinking six months ago. It's gotten better gradually, so imperceptibly, that I didn't realize the improvement when they were happening. It was only upon looking back that I recognized the changes in my life. At nearly six months sober I have a happiness and optimism that I didn't think I'd ever feel. I know the early days are hard. I know I felt bleak. I used a combo of SR and AA to get though the cravings, enjoy camaraderie with other addicts, and work through my issues.
gleefan is offline  
Old 08-14-2014, 11:08 AM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Recovered from Hopeless State
 
dSober's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: New Jersey, USA
Posts: 2,156
Originally Posted by gleefan View Post
I used a combo of SR and AA to get though the cravings, enjoy camaraderie with other addicts, and work through my issues.
Me too. My recovery was a little different in that after nearly drinking myself to death, I finally determined to try, hard, to turn it around. I reprogrammed/brainwashed myself into the spiritual awakening described in the Big Book. It was very sudden and gave me instant relief. I've described elsewhere here at SR how I did it. I've never been happier in my life.

Sudden, or gradual, as also described in the Big Book, it happens IF we work for it and never give up. As I've heard many times at meetings... keep coming back.
dSober is offline  
Old 08-14-2014, 07:40 PM
  # 10 (permalink)  
01-14-2019
 
tornrealization's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,217
Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
I think we can feel a certain way for so long it becomes the default programme.

I also felt I was a deeply sad person, and always would be.

I had 20 years or more of misery to back that conclusion up - why would/should I doubt it?

Yet time, and recovery, have shown me I was mistaken.

I'm not a deeply sad person - I'm actually a joyful and optimistic person who found themselves locked in a deeply sad way to live.

For what it's worth deeply sad are not the words that come immediately to mind when I think of you Torn.

I should also note that there was a difference in you without the booze.

I really encourage you to have the courage, and the faith, to go looking for that person again

D
I was filled with dread knowing I posted under the influence again. My difference has been noticed by myself, coworkers, close ones and now everyone. It means to me, quitting shouldn't be so dreadful well after withdrawals, and has always ended up better. Try number 7 this year starts now. Sadly with all my quits and fails this One year, I've drank months less this year than the last thirteen, but just feel so much worse at the failure factor. Oh well.
tornrealization is offline  
Old 08-14-2014, 07:45 PM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Administrator
Thread Starter
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,045
You're back and trying again - thats not a failure Torn

D
Dee74 is offline  
Old 08-14-2014, 07:46 PM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Administrator
Thread Starter
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,045
Welcome back Lucy

D
Dee74 is offline  
Old 08-14-2014, 08:50 PM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Member
 
gleefan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 3,958
(((Torn))) I would do a scan of my facebook and texts when I woke up, to remember what I posted under the influence. I've been ashamed a lot of times over the way I've presented myself while drunk, and spent a lot of time worrying about what other people thought of it. Quitting is hard, but what a feeling to be free from shame!
gleefan is offline  
Old 08-15-2014, 12:02 AM
  # 14 (permalink)  
Member
 
LonelyShadow's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: England
Posts: 808
Torn - You're still here, you have it in you to pull everything around and find that bright spark of joy inside you. You may be deeply sad now and everything may feel so grey and black but remember that it DOES lift, and when it does everything just brightens up and you're free to be the person you want to be again.

You are not a failure, okay? You get yourself up and go at it again. I'm rooting for you Torn, we all are!

(If I had some Phoenix Down or a Hi-Potion I would use it on you )

Welcome back Lucy! Great to have you back.

"I just want the drinking to stop."

Good! You'll get there

Hope everyone is feeling strong out there,
I send you all strength and happiness today
LonelyShadow is offline  
Old 08-15-2014, 04:22 AM
  # 15 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 226
Originally Posted by Lucy777 View Post
Hello. I'm back again. Day 3 or 4. I got my depression meds adjusted a few weeks ago and I am feeling more emotionally stable. And I finally got my dr to prescribe antabuse. I just want the drinking to stop. Antabuse will give provide a much needed buffer when feel upset and want to drink. Now I need to continue working through the emotional baggage. I don't think I will ever experience happiness again but I will settle for a sense of peace and calmness.
Hi Lucy,

I havent taken anti depressants this time (but have taken them before) but Antabuse definitly helped me. It gave me some breathing space while I worked on my emotions. I am happier and calmer than Ive ever been dispite my situation in life actually being quite 'suboptimal'.

I wish you the peace and calmness you seek. I think happiness will probably appear as well.
Gazza is offline  
Old 08-15-2014, 09:29 AM
  # 16 (permalink)  
Member
 
DiggingIn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 346
Glad to see you back Lucy!

Torn, giving up is failure, continuing to try is not. As far as the depression and feelings that happiness will never return, been there, and I expect to have those times again on occasion. I really am surprised sometimes that my default state is no longer the feeling of a hole in my heart. The pain eases as you work through things and as you let time do its thing. I can remember thinking about SR, they've not known MY pain. I won't ever heal. Well, these people in this thread were right and I was wrong. As far as faith, if I'd turned to my faith and listened to God, none of this would have happened. So, my only way out is listening. I know that isn't everyone's path, but it is mine. You. Can. Do. This. And you will.
DiggingIn is offline  
Old 08-15-2014, 09:59 AM
  # 17 (permalink)  
Member
 
gleefan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 3,958
Originally Posted by DiggingIn View Post
I really am surprised sometimes that my default state is no longer the feeling of a hole in my heart.

DI - I can't fully begin to describe how happy I am to read this.

In the beginning of my sober journey, I didn't think I had any type of depression. It wasn't til a couple weeks away from alcohol that I realized I was operating in a dense fog.

If it weren't for Dee's honesty of where his life was in addiction, and his underlying issues resonating with me, and his advice on how turned it around, I never would have embraced recovery. I never would have identified my codependent behaviors. I never would have given AA a chance. I never would have opened up to others. I owe you a lot, Dee. (())

Today, I tried to give it back for the first time. My friend isn't a drinker, but her husband is, and she's coming to a point of frustration with her codependency. She's been isolating herself this week, but sharing that she's stressed, and I reached out to her. I think I talked too much (big surprise - lol), but I'm not a professional and I think/hope the kindness of my intent is what will resonate.

Have a great one, Febbies!
gleefan is offline  
Old 08-15-2014, 01:34 PM
  # 18 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 226
Last night my soon to be ex drank 3 bottles of wine. Ive just finished cleaning up the mess. I really cant wait for this to be over. She had plans for the morning and it is a nice sunny day but none of it is going to happen.

What a damn waste of a life. Its hard not to be angry and resentful. The 'sick person' thing is not helping me mch this morning. To be honest it seems more like wilfully stupid person.

"This is a sick person. How can I be helpful to them? God save me from being angry. They will be done."

Must be calm... wrath wont help anyything.

take care all.
Gazza is offline  
Old 08-15-2014, 02:19 PM
  # 19 (permalink)  
Member
 
gleefan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 3,958
(((Gazza)))

We are the lucky ones, who can see that it's a wasted life. Hugs and strength to you as you deal with her drinking.
gleefan is offline  
Old 08-15-2014, 02:19 PM
  # 20 (permalink)  
Member
 
LonelyShadow's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: England
Posts: 808
Gazza stay strong my friend, be the bigger person. And remember that sometimes it's not the addiction that needs to be blamed, sometimes people are just dicks and there isn't much you can do about it.

Take care of you, she'll have to take care of herself.

Stay strong friend
LonelyShadow is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:54 PM.