Ken33xx

There is an AA member that I have known for a good ten years. We’ve been friendly but not particularly close. He’s been in the program for over 25 years and speaks with authority at meetings. From time to time after the meeting we have gone out for coffee in a group. However, I find him too intense and someone I prefer not to socialize with one on one.

A year ago he started working with me two days a week. I was friendly during the breaks/lunch time but after awhile I backed away which was fine since he was chatting with other co-workers.

Unfortunately, he started to alienate them and they too began to avoid him. At which point he started popping up wherever I was with a big smile on his face in an effort to get me to chat. I've been polite yet tried making it clear I don’t want to sit-down/chat (I just say hi and keep walking) but the guy just keeps trying.

If I say anything other than a few words he takes it a sign we're all buddy-buddy and steps up his efforts to get me to talk more.

Anyone have experience dealing with toxic people who hoover?

Hoovering:
When Toxic People Start Hoovering – A Blog About Toxic and Non-Toxic People

airwick

A nice smile, proceed to walk away and politely ignore. Sometimes the people who do this type of toxic hoovering are just looking for a confident voice with a look of acceptance.

I hope one or the other suggestion help you w/this

Ken33xx

Thanks.

It’s weird because I used to think this guy had it together given the way he shares at AA meetings.

But actually he’s quite toxic and someone people tend to avoid after awhile.

airwick

We all have, and share many different layers of ourselves with different people. It's a natural thing.

I hope everything is going well