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Asperger's and pointless rudeness

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Old 04-13-2014, 07:02 AM
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Asperger's and pointless rudeness

I've recently met my brother in law's brother whom is 43. While he is nice and friendly with me he seems to make extremley inappropriate and mean comments to my sister. For example he called my sister blue blooded and overpriveledged. AS far as i know he has never had a girlfriend or hardly any freinds but is not

gay. After reading a few webpages on Asperger's criteria he seems to fit it to a tee. My sister and brother in law seem to both think he is just a world class a-hole? His behavior to me doesn't make any sense and like I said he seemed in like a nice interesting guy to me with a lot of knowledge in some areas. He got

along with me. I don't want to diagnose him but do you think my sister and brother in law should just continue to badmouth him and hold their opinion? I've read that these offbeat rude comments are signature of asperger's
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Old 04-13-2014, 02:28 PM
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Well he is old enough to potentially have missed the diagnosis boom. The Parenthood series on TV has been working this story line this season - Ray Ramanos char realizes he is on the spectrum. Maybe you could offhandedly bring it up? Usually when I am waving a flag, I get shot. So now I pass the flag over to a more willing martyr. So far there's always been one willing to take that flag. Keeps my Codie self in check and the message still gets sent out.
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Old 04-13-2014, 03:09 PM
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Cabo, personally for me, I would stay out of it.
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Old 04-13-2014, 03:22 PM
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Internet diagnoses can fit almost anything tho Cabo.

He may well be on the spectrum, he may be reacting to the ill-will he senses, or he may be a world class jerk - who knows?

Not sure it's your business to get involved tho?

D
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Old 04-13-2014, 03:50 PM
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no..not my business..but i just brought it up with my sister because they seem to have this war going on with him vs my sister and brother in law...just wanted to know if it was a possibility in the case of maybe someone had experience
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Old 04-14-2014, 03:17 PM
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Cabo, This is the third thread you have started in the past month or so that has rude behavior on the part of other people. as its subject. The “my sh!t don’t stink” thread, the grump-old-people thread and now this one. Finding a way to not let it bother you so much, or at least not focusing on it quite as much might be in order. I have found that almost nothing can threaten sobriety like resentments.
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Old 04-14-2014, 04:42 PM
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Originally Posted by awuh1 View Post
Cabo, This is the third thread you have started in the past month or so that has rude behavior on the part of other people. as its subject. The “my sh!t don’t stink” thread, the grump-old-people thread and now this one. Finding a way to not let it bother you so much, or at least not focusing on it quite as much might be in order. I have found that almost nothing can threaten sobriety like resentments.
well a way of not letting it bother me so much is getting it off my chest and not pretending that it doesn't bother me....i hope i'm not bothering you...

seriously its my way of dealing with crap,,maybe you are more mature then me or nothing bothers you..either way if it annoys you use your own advice
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Old 04-14-2014, 04:47 PM
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I don't think awuh was taking you to task Cabo.

A lot of things used to bother me. Those things still exist around me but they don't bother me so much.

I used to be really affected by what other people thought of me. Years of addiction had left me with no real inner sense of self....whenever someone treated me well - or treated me poorly - I really took that to heart.

I found with a stronger sense of personal boundaries those things don't bother me as much nowadays.

D
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Old 04-14-2014, 04:58 PM
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anyway this guy had no affect on me or my life. I just thought I could get some insight if anybody had this diagnosis or has knowledge of it..i'm not going to tell him or his brother about it. It was just something that interests me
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Old 04-14-2014, 05:21 PM
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I have worked with someone who was diagnosed with Asperger and also had PTSD (Gulf war vet) and yes he could be sometimes very rude and very inconsiderate. Mostly it was as if his emotions were "frozen" then once in a while he would lose it and throw a stappler or the phone at the wall. I learned to just accept him for what he was which is a sick wounded individual and basically paid his rudeness or outbursts no mind. My Al Anon really helped with detachment while working with him.

Ps: he was eventually asked to resign
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Old 04-14-2014, 05:37 PM
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i am interested in this disorder and autism in general. I can't imagine the man who first discovered this and how he did it. It seems amazing to me
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