jeffthechef

hi
i am about to start my ninth step

but i am having trouble trying to find some one on my list

its my ex wife (it is an important one for me to make)

i cant find her contact information
but i know of a few people that know her

what i am asking is that

is it OK for me to explain to this person that i am trying to find here to make amends and that if they would be inclined could they please pass along my contact information to her

i am confused

thanks

sugarbear1

maybe this would harm her more than help her....the ex wife I mean.....

keithj

ALthough we should always seek the person's consent before trying to make a formal amends, I can't see any harm in trying to find the people on your list. My first 8th Step list was broken into 3 categories: those where I was willing and knew how to find the person, those where I was willing but had no clue where the person was, and those where I just wasn't ready yet. For the ones in the 2nd category, I used any and all means possible, including internet searches and contacts through old friends.