Dee74

we continue from here:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...rt-3-a-20.html

D

Ilya

Thanks all. It means a lot to be pat on the back by you.

Counseling... I'd love some mediation but my husband seems averse or somewhat primitive lol!
I hope we can do that someday.

Aarryckha

Thanks, Dee!

Ilya

Oh. My. ****.

We just found a bedbug.

We thought my husband had been having an allergic reaction for the past few months, as I have no spots or anything. He had no itching.

Oh sweet bejaysus. I read online just now that it's possible that there could just be one. Right??? I could have found it?? Oh crikey. Stress.

Natalie17

Sometimes, it's a dude thing (My apologies to all of the feeling dudes out there!) Even if you go yourself, it only gets better. Hugs and kisses!

Aarryckha

I agree. I'd really like to get into counseling. I tried it last year, a couple of different therapists and didn't really find anyone that I clicked with.

Aarryckha

Ouch! I don't know anything about bedbugs. I'm sorry.

Ilya

I guess we just have to hire a pro, I have never experienced this before. What a day.

Aarryckha

Ilya, take a deep breath. It'll be okay.

Ilya

Thank you. I'm just wondering how many big/little irritations and triggers can happen in one day

Aarryckha

Make sure you stay hydrated and eat also.

I'm glad you're posting here!

Ilya

Thanks. It's way past my bedtime, and I'm going to try to ignore this new development and go to sleep (which is what I used to use alcohol for!!). Ayayay

Aarryckha

Sounds like a great plan!

Get some rest and regroup to face things tomorrow!

Sulu1

Made it into work which is impressive considering the circumstances. I'm really just trying to keep busy and not dwell on recent events right now.

Kinda exhausted cause I've not been sleeping. Keep telling myself this will get better and I will not drink today.

toddle118

Morning Gang! Slept well apart from debilitating sciatica, bleerugh, very painful, never mind!

Well done Ilya for not drinking at the bowling alley, shows you can do it, yeyyy!!

Mr G am glad you made it to work, hopefully it will be a distraction from your thoughts for a bit? Hope so...youre strong, you dont need alcohol to get through this. You know it doesnt work anyway hun.

Heres to another drink free day, day 12, wheew, how did that happen?

Much love and strength to you all, keep marching

biminiblue

This was my constant state of being just before I stopped drinking two weeks ago. In meeting other alcoholics, I hear this over and over. Loneliness. Isolation. It's how we all end up if we keep drinking. I got there quickly this time.

I was a heavy drinker in my 20s. Bad sh*t kept happening and I knew I was miserable so I started looking for a solution to my psychic pain, not to stop drinking. At that time, I blamed everything on other people - my Mom, my absentee Dad, my boyfriends, the way women can be snippy with each other, etcetera. I was a walking Victim. Through a series of self-discovery practices I began to heal. I went to "Return to Excellence" (a self-help week long seminar) I read every self help book known to man, pretty much. I got pregnant and found myself in crisis, and found a Christian counselor (didn't know she was Christian, I was looking for an abortion). I ended up having a miscarriage, but the seed was planted. I started going to church. I wasn't convinced, but I was almost willing. Then I got baptized. That was a huge turning point, even though I did it because the counselor told me it would help, and I wasn't really ready to turn it all over to God. Didn't matter. It was a turning point. I started living my life differently. I stopped drinking - and stayed sober for almost 18 years. In that 18 years, however, I thought I had been miraculously healed and didn't need to do anything else. Yeah, no, that isn't how it works.
I stopped doing any type of spiritual practices.

Fast forward through seven years of re-drinking after that long sobriety. I went down fast this time. I had quit my job, everyone in my family had died, I broke up with my best friend and had a short failed romantic relationship. I was drinking entirely on the down-low. NO one knew the extent of my drinking. I didn't even admit it to myself. But I was terminally isolated. No family, no friends. That's when I had to turn back to God. No one else to ask. My strong will had gotten me into a fatal predicament. The only out was to turn my will over to someone who knew me and could fix me.

That's where I am today. Now I have people calling me daily to check in with me. Women from the program are available 24/7 by phone. Many of them have told me to call even if it's 3AM. I haven't had to do that, but the fact that it is available to me is soul-saving. I cannot tell you how grateful I am to God that when I ended up on my knees finally - He gave me an answer.

I know a lot of you here are not into the God thing. It's just my experience. You will all find your own way.

All I know is that in fellowship and service to one another, I find my own salvation. In caring for the needs of others, I find my own answers. I'm not going to turn my back on it this time. I'm not going to continue to be this empty vessel that needs to be filled.

I'm going to stop talking. Yeah, that's it.

...and it's 3:15AM again.

This is my chat time apparently.

Holli

H everyone, here's hoping for smooth sailing for Marchers today. :-)

toddle118

Very interesting and inspirational quote bimini, what a tough road youve trodden, but you came out the other side. I think there is some sort of power that is out there we can access, but we have to be ready to access it. Im glad you found it, whether God or some other spiritual force x

kopfan

I came back. After managing to stay alcohol free for 6-8 days at a time for the past six months I'm ready to give up forever.

biminiblue

Welcome, kopfan! We need you, stay with us.